What to do now?
#11
Originally Posted by BellaBoo
When my teens asked for something that is costly, we give them the money to buy it. Funny how what they had to have suddenly wasn't that important. A less costly one would do or they didn't want it anymore. Seems when the item is given, the actual value is lost but if they spend actual money that is theirs, it's the most valuable thing ever. Just remember to not battle over the small stuff. Have several big rules and not a lot of little rules. I could care less how long my teens talked on the phone after going to bed (a little rule). They still had to get up early, make good grades and act civil the next day (big rule). It wasn't long before they figured out sleep was more important then any phone call. I saved tons of battling by not having a little rule to argue over them breaking.
My most valuable possessions is my Ipod, my Playstation 2, and my Wii. I received all 3 as gifts. The Ipod was a replacement Ipod for the one that died after three years, this one is still going strong, but I still plan on replacing it soon. The Playstation 2 I received for my 8th grade graduation, which was when I was 15 (story behind that has nothing to do with me being a bad student, just an evil nun and the archdiocese of chicago), and I still have it to this day. Still works too! The Wii I just received this past Christmas. I'm responsible!
I'd let her take the heat.
#13
we got dd#3 an ipod for Christmas a couple years back....at the time dh was out of work and money was beyond tight. That was the only thing she asked for. She lost it in a week. I told her I was sorry but she would have to do without. I was furious with her though! here we had gone and barely managed to buy this and she looses it in a week? How careless! She knew I was upset and she felt really bad. Her birthday is in September so that summer I thought maybe we'll get her another for her bday....wouldn't you know it she found it in August! In the couch! She has taken VERY good care of it since.
#14
Banned
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,893
Originally Posted by CAROLJ
It was her responsibility not yours. It is a good lesson to learn while she is young. Hang in there mom, you'll do the right thing.
I would then have her earn money to buy herself a new one, or at least pay for half of it. If you just buy her a new one she won't learn anything except that "Mom will buy me a new one if I loose it".
If you teach her now, the teen years will be just a tad bit easier. (Just a tad) ;)
Good luck.
#15
I would not have her call the places herself. If she is only 11 she may sound like the child she is and may not be taken seriously. I would make the calls myself. I hope you find it. I know how upset you must feel. Being there, but can also imagine how she must feel. I hope you guys find it soon.
#16
I can relate. My son just lost his phone yesterday. I fell out of his pocket while riding his bike to friends house. Backed tracked... nothing. He as been looking at a new phone for a couple weeks (was having problems with his battery). He wants a droid... motorola makes it. He's 16 now. I'm not paying 200.00 for a phone. We are able to get 5 new phones on our plan. This phone is not one of them. My son doesn't like his choices. I say oh well. Beggers can't be choosy! I don't believe in just handing money over and letting them have their way when it suits them. When my son asked us to get him a droid he also wanted us to pay an extra 30.00 a month for all the extras the phone can do. I said to him ARE YOU CRAZY! you want it.... get a job! :twisted:
#17
Ohuch! I always tell all because it can bite you and the older I get the more I know that life is one lesson after another, bite bite bite bite - ya know what I mean? If I haven't learned from the things I've experienced, I sure hope someone has. It's been rocky.
#18
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,146
My DD#1 is 13 and doesn't have an ipod, cell phone, or laptop. She does have a digital camera and mp3 which are her favorite things. She has scratched up her camera screen because she doesn't keep it in the case. She knows that if she breaks or loses either she will be in trouble and will not get replacements. I wish I had the money to buy whatever whenever but I don't. I would not rplace the ipod, give it some time to turn up and if it doesn't then give her some time to be without.I know you feel bad that this happened and want to get her another, I would too, but it was a gift that was a want not a need and you and Dh got it even though money was tight.
#19
Four children, two GC old enough for these new "toys". Grandson jumped in the pool with his first one, got replaced, second one he left laying in the dugout after a ballgame, gone when he returned to look. That one replaced, but using his own money. He is much more careful now! My own children would not have been given something that expensive in the first place, after all, they don't need the best of everything. They learned to do without, and if they wanted something bad enough, they saved their money to buy it. Many times, we would give them the amount we felt was reasonable, and if they wanted better, they had to earn the money for it. My daughter did baby-sitting in JR. high for her extras, and the three boys were mowing, raking and shoveling when they were 12 to earn their spending money. ( I am likely to help out grandkids, but that is different!LOL) When the kids were old enough to drive, they had to pay for gas and their share of car insurance. I have to say, they all grew up to be very responsible adults, and they understand the value of a dollar. Personally, I dont see why a 11 year old even needs a cell phone.
#20
Originally Posted by ginnie6
we got dd#3 an ipod for Christmas a couple years back....at the time dh was out of work and money was beyond tight. That was the only thing she asked for. She lost it in a week. I told her I was sorry but she would have to do without. I was furious with her though! here we had gone and barely managed to buy this and she looses it in a week? How careless! She knew I was upset and she felt really bad. Her birthday is in September so that summer I thought maybe we'll get her another for her bday....wouldn't you know it she found it in August! In the couch! She has taken VERY good care of it since.
I talked to her tutor this morning and she is going to check her porch for me to see if it's at her house. If it is, I will sit and have a very serious discussion with her. After all the dust settles, I'm confident she won't make this mistake again.
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