kaykwilts

I agree....weddings seem to be the time to bring out in people who they really are not...when DH and I married 32 yrs ago, we wore bluejeans, gauze embroidered shirts, bare feet, flowers in my hair, in front of a Christmas tree in the middle of a blizzard.....a true "hippie" wedding. And it was totally us at the time. DH still has hair down to his waist to this day!! This son that is marrying is all about appearances. Always wants to look good, always trying to distract people from any character flaws by the "good looks"...whether it's in the clothes he wears, the car he drives, or the guitar he plays. I am not sure where this came from, as that is not the way he was raised, but we just keep figuring that one day, he'll figure it out, relax and be himself. As far as the bride goes, I think she is the baby of the family (can you tell we really don't know her very well?? Our son decided we weren't worth his time for us to get to know her very well, and then the one time I could arrange with her family to let her come to our place for a family get together (and I planned it three months in advance) the dad sabotaged it and arranged his own family get together, and they had to leave early!!) and since she is the baby, I think they are wanting a big deal of the wedding. However, they are insisting that my son foot some of the bill for the wedding, and I know for a fact that he will have to borrow money from them just to pay for the flowers and such....to us, this is a terrible way to start off a marriage....in debt to your in-laws!!!! But there is no talking to this son....our opinion doesn't count or matter.

So like I said, I will go, DH will be in a tux, we are now deeper in debt, and this is the last time we will help this son on in any way...

Waiting anxiously for August 13th...my new year's day!!
k

ps...and as much as it breaks our hearts to admit this...DH and I don't really expect this marriage to last....we don't believe that our son's character flaws along with her overbearing and controlling father will allow this marriage to make it....I wish I could say I know who she is, but I can't.....Of course, we will NEVER say any of this to our son, all words as soon as the "I do" is said is support to find answers to work things out, and our son, nor her, will ever know how we really feel.....but with the divorce rate so high now-a-days, we just don't think these two have much of a chance. Maybe they will surprise us...maybe they won't....believe me when I say that we the smiles we have that day will not be from joy, as much as relief that our "obligation" to help this son is over.......such a sad way to feel when a child you love so much is taking a "rite of passage".......but what's a parent to do?????

mhollifiel

I am so blessed. Last son to marry, the men wore their white dress military uniforms. The only "odd" man was my other son. Since the bridesmaids all wore long black dresses of their own choosing, my DDIL told my other son (Best Man, we lost my husband two years prior) to get whatever he wanted to go with, black would be fine. He was over 400 lbs at the time and white would have been just awful. (Has had lapband since and looks awesome!) So he wore black and it looked great. Plus the girls all had dresses they loved and would get to use again. And the wedding was the most visually stunning wedding I have ever attended. My new daughter won big for her practical approach!

Dawn227

We had to also dresss formally. Mothers had to wear long gowns as well. Personally I think it is an unreasonable request. Even worse when it creats a hardship. But having only sons, I had to go along. This paticular DIL was raised as a "princess" if you get the drift. I had to shell out 175.00 for my gown. Now it sits! I could shorten it but I don't go anyplace to wear something like that now. Besides I use a cane and it makes it look cheap.
Just my personal reply.
Dawn

quiltmom04

My sons haven't married yet, but I remember mine and several years ago I helped the daughter of a friend coordinate hers. I advised her that there are so many things a bride thinks are important and when you wake up the next morning - aren't. Like what a cherished member of the family (the FOG, say) wears, or whether you have names on matchbooks, or whether all your bridesmaids look nice in the same style dress. I was very upset that my grandmother wouldn't buy a new dress and shoes for my wedding. But she looked fine, was comfortable in her old shoes and danced all night. Three weeks later, she fell and died. I would have been heartsick if I had INSISTED she get new shoes and would not have been comfortable enough to dance at my wedding. Now, 31 years later, I love the pictures of her and remember how smart she was to know what SHE wanted!

TanyaL

How formal are the tux that the groom and groomsmen wearing? Are they wearing "tails"? What is the father of the bride wearing? How large is the wedding party? Will your husband be standing on the dais with the groom and groomsmen? Is the bride using a wedding consultant? Will there be a receiving line at the reception? If so, will you and your husband be in the line? Is someone paying several hundreds of dollars to a professional photographer to record the wedding? How much is the rental of the tux? More than 2 tanks of gasoline? Could your rental of the tux be your wedding gift to the couple if it is that important to them? I feel that perhaps you don't have enough information about this wedding. We have had 3 traditional weddings conducted in churches for our 5 children. We were the grooms family for 2 of them and our expenses included providing for the rehearsal dinner, the complete cost of tux rental for ALL tuxes
(however, all groomsmen were our sons), our share of photographer's cost. The bride's family paid for all bridal and bridesmaid's expenses plus the flowers, reception, dinner, dance, cake and limo. Much cheaper to be the groom's parents!

ShowMama

Sorry, but can't help you with that. My daughter had a country wedding and my husband wore jeans with a light blue button-down shirt and his Texas flag tie.

charity-crafter

:lol: but that would give everyone something to talk about!

We paid for my brother's tux rental when we got married because he couldn't afford the expense. And he didn't have a nice suit.

leiladylei54

I think it's really about what the bride and groom prefer. In the formal photos, it might show the difference if the FOB is in a tux but FOG is in a suit. Maybe the married couple will pick up the tux rental for FOG. Couldn't hurt to as your son. We dressed both FOB and FOG in tuxes like the groomsmen and groom but it was a last minute decision. Outdoor wedding but reception at a fancy hotel; hence the tuxes.

Meme2six

When my three girls got married, I made the bridesmaids dresses for each wedding (2, 2, & 6) as well as the flower girl dresses for each wedding. Their dad wore a black suit (same suit for all three weddings!) and everyone looked very nice. They were just thankful they had a father to give them away.

lauriejo

Sorry to hear about the troubles with your son, I guess all you can do is pray. I can totally understand why you would go ahead with the tux rental, sounds like you were already behind the eight ball. Maybe you could inform your son that the tux rental is your Christmas gift to them?