Cathy M

Okay, now I am feeling sort of guilty. I have the most wonderful mother-in-law and step mother in law. My husband's parents were divorced when he was small and both parents remarried. A day doesn't go by that one of these two fine women remind me what a wonderful world this is. In fact, 10 minutes ago, received a quick email from step mom in law telling me she loved me. Last night spoke to my mother in law and she is a hoot. Oh, and they give me fun gifts as they both sew :) :) :) :) :) My husband always worries about both of them dying and me inheriting two more households full of fabric.

pittsburgpam

I couldn't imagine being treated, or treating someone, like that.

My GS's 2nd b-day party was on Saturday and I didn't realize until I saw there were two cakes that the party was also for my SIL, who's b-day was on Sunday. My daughter never said a thing other than about the 2 year old, they've only been married for 2 years and her DH was deployed for most of it so I didn't have it in my head yet of when his b-day is.

Anyway, I did not want to be one of those MIL who treat their SIL badly so I went out on Saturday morning before the party and got him a DVD movie that my daughter said he wanted. I asked her is there anything else he wants or needs?? She couldn't think of anything but finally said that he needed tank t-shirts. I got him 3 packages of 3 in different colors.

mytwopals

My first MIL was a train wreck. Basically, she was/is an alcoholic lush. She would embarass us at every restaurant we took her to. She would get drunk and start falling over everything. One time, she even jumped out of the cab at a light to go to the bar and drink some more. When we got divorced, she left me an hour long message on the answering machine, cussing the whole time and stating how she was going to buy a gun and come over and shoot me. I wasn't too worried, though. She was in Finland and I was here.

My second MIL was much nicer and I enjoyed her company. She liked antiques and hand-made items.

Barbm

once upon a time it would bother me about his parents, especially since he is such a great guy, but I just ignore them. at family functions I delight in being there- my presence is enough to send his ex into a tizzy- she's still waiting for him to come home over 25 years later.

I love it- makes me laugh that I am to be feared. I just need to exist to cause them grief, can you imagine if I provoked them? I do feel bad for my kids- they see their grandparents at things for their siblings, but they never ask about them.

His ex always took a liking to our son and she will say hello to him. I never stopped him from being nice, but I noticed at my step son's fiancee's shower, my son's fiancee said hello to her. I think I need to have a word with her. (how's that for complicated?)

anyway- I got the better end of the deal- hubby is the best and laughs about my quilting addiction so how can I complain about his ex and parents? He chose me- he said he couldn't live without me and we'll face whatever together.

MadQuilter

I got the pick of the litter too. I accused Pat of deliberately not introducing me to his family until after the wedding. I am pretty sure that had I met them BEFORE, there would not have been a wedding.

My in-laws had a hard time adjusting to my German directness and they always had issues with me being "so outspoken." It's kind of funny since they have no idea how much I actually kept my mouth shut most of the time. I think I was a lot like Barb - I instilled fear just by being. lol

My MIL actually paid me the ultimate compliment a while ago. She said that Pat's success was in great part because he has a wife who supports him. (He is the only one of her 4 children who is still married to wife #1, has a house, has a white collar job, has a BS degree, and is happy with his lot in life) I'm not surprised that she noticed, but I'm surprised she said anything. Three cheers for the outspoken German, eh?

Barbm

outspoken German- maybe we were separated at birth- that's me too. I tell people, I speak my mind, if I am wrong, tell me, but if i'm right, i will continue to speak what's on my mind. Maybe they are afraid of me- I never get told I am wrong. :) (this is so unlike the me growing up- shy, always taken advantage of, no self esteem at all- I am completely opposite now- thanks to hubby saying stick up for yourself.)

our families were not invited to our wedding- not even our kids for fear of his parents coming and making a scene. and so we have moved on- our 17th anniversary is coming up the end of the month and I'm looking forward to many more years with him, he's just a real nice guy.

mimisharon

Good for you Barb, it's not easy to be an in-law or out-law, it takes work!

:wink:

Hugs,
Sharon

Feathers

You just described my ex-husband's mother and my relationship...are you married to my monster X??? :?: :lol: My MIL could NOT have treated me any better or more lovingly than she treated me. I always felt so blessed to have her in my life. She's gone now and I've been divorced from her son for 40 years but still miss dialing her number to check on how to make this or that. She was wonderful. I, too, wish everyone had a MIL like mine. My DH's mom died before we met so I don't know how she would have been but wish everyone could experience the kind of MIL my first one was.

butterflywing

there must be something wrong with me. when i give a gift, i take into consideration what the person wants, needs, likes. what size, color, etc.
sometimes it's a giftcard. sometimes a toolchest. sometimes a gift of jewelry. but it's always for that person.

that MIL is not doing that. SHE's having fun, doing what SHE likes to do, making quilts. SHE gets satisfaction winnings ribbons. that's fine. if she then wants to pass them along - great! but they are not xmas gifts to anyone else but herself. anyone who gets them is lucky. but let's not confuse gifting with shedding. she gives these quilts once she has no use for them. if she made a quilt for each person and gave it for the pleasure of the intended person, then it would really be a gift. this way she wants three-for-the-money. 1- the joy of the making 2- the pride of the winning and lastly, 3 - the gratitude of the recipient. note the order of importance here.

what if the dil really wanted slipcovers for her carseats? and the kids wanted some electronic game? what if she actually had to forgo buying fabric in order to give someone else the gift they really wanted? in other words, a gift of the heart. what then?

from that paragraph, the dil is not expressing herself well, but she knows that what she's getting IS unneeded castoffs. regardless of their beauty and/or value. that mil has put herself first. that is not a true gift.

shoot me at dawn.

KayBee

Get over it! I'm wondering if you have any idea what is involved in making a quilt, the cost involved, and if you even appreciate your quilt gifts. Would be thrilled to have an award winning quilt as a gift from your talented mother-in-law.