Worst gift??
08-20-2009, 04:08 PM
#31
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Location: Sleepy Hollow, NY
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i'm siding with the DIL on this one and i'm a quilter and i know exactly what goes into making a quilt especially when its to enter a show.
i had a wonderful MIL and i took care of her and nursed for years before she died.
if the MIL is not ready to give the quilt without any strings attached she shouldn't give her the quilt.
the DIL should be allowed to treat the quilt any way she wishes and not have to worry about use because the MIL might want to put it in a show next year.
who gives a gift with stipulations on use - thats not a gift.
i had a wonderful MIL and i took care of her and nursed for years before she died.
if the MIL is not ready to give the quilt without any strings attached she shouldn't give her the quilt.
the DIL should be allowed to treat the quilt any way she wishes and not have to worry about use because the MIL might want to put it in a show next year.
who gives a gift with stipulations on use - thats not a gift.
08-20-2009, 04:20 PM
#32
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Location: currently central new jersey
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Originally Posted by KayBee
Get over it! I'm wondering if you have any idea what is involved in making a quilt, the cost involved, and if you even appreciate your quilt gifts. Would be thrilled to have an award winning quilt as a gift from your talented mother-in-law.
give the quilt, certainly, because YOU want to. and acknowledge that that's the reason.
i would never dream of giving a quilt to someone who i felt didn't appreciate it,. furthermore, her h should understand this. i wonder if he gives her a wrench, because he has a really good one he doesn't use anymore.
08-20-2009, 05:45 PM
#33
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I see both points, but I have to say the argument is kinda silly. A quilt is a wonderful gift no matter. All gifts from In laws have strings, seen or not they are there. Want to talk about a bad gift? the first gift I got from the Inlaws after my wedding was a cemetary plot. I would love to have gotten a quilt even if it had a ton of strings. My MIL is gone now but I still have gifts that have strings.
08-20-2009, 06:04 PM
#34
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Location: MN
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Originally Posted by pittsburgpam
I've been reading all these posts at www.motherinlawstories.com Some of them are funny, many are just crazy. I just came across one of the Worst Gift ones that said the following. Some of these ranting and raving daughters-in-law are unbelievable too.
Worst gift: My monster-in-law makes quilts to enter into shows around the country. After she is done with them, she gives them to my children as gifts. She says that she is specifically making them for my kids, but uses them for herself to win prizes. She actually gave me one as a Christmas gift last year. Apparently, she wanted to enter it in a contest. I had called her from a fabric store to see what I needed to buy to hang it on my wall. While I was at the store on the phone with her, asking her what I needed to buy to hang my quilt, she told me, "Oh yeah, I was going to ask to borrow it back to enter it in a contest." I was speechless. The great thing is that I tell my DH, and his response is that I need to stop starting with her!!!!!!
Worst gift: My monster-in-law makes quilts to enter into shows around the country. After she is done with them, she gives them to my children as gifts. She says that she is specifically making them for my kids, but uses them for herself to win prizes. She actually gave me one as a Christmas gift last year. Apparently, she wanted to enter it in a contest. I had called her from a fabric store to see what I needed to buy to hang it on my wall. While I was at the store on the phone with her, asking her what I needed to buy to hang my quilt, she told me, "Oh yeah, I was going to ask to borrow it back to enter it in a contest." I was speechless. The great thing is that I tell my DH, and his response is that I need to stop starting with her!!!!!!
I do see butterflywing's point - the DIL's viewpoint of the MIL's apparent order of priorities in making and giving the quilts.
One of the things I treasure most is a love note from my DH written on a scrap of paper. (Haven't gotten one lately, but he did change the flat tire without fussing a week ago!)
08-20-2009, 06:36 PM
#35
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Location: currently central new jersey
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Originally Posted by kwhite
I see both points, but I have to say the argument is kinda silly. A quilt is a wonderful gift no matter. All gifts from In laws have strings, seen or not they are there. Want to talk about a bad gift? the first gift I got from the Inlaws after my wedding was a cemetary plot. I would love to have gotten a quilt even if it had a ton of strings. My MIL is gone now but I still have gifts that have strings.
08-20-2009, 06:39 PM
#36
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Location: currently central new jersey
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Originally Posted by butterflywing
Originally Posted by kwhite
I see both points, but I have to say the argument is kinda silly. A quilt is a wonderful gift no matter. All gifts from In laws have strings, seen or not they are there. Want to talk about a bad gift? the first gift I got from the Inlaws after my wedding was a cemetary plot. I would love to have gotten a quilt even if it had a ton of strings. My MIL is gone now but I still have gifts that have strings.
08-20-2009, 09:37 PM
#37
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Location: San Francisco Bay area
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The MIL needs to find someone who really appreciates all the work AND expense that goes into a quilt and give it to them. This young woman has no clue. How ungrateful.
Although I have to also say that when my Sis was moving I happened to go to her house and found a quilt I'd made in the Goodwill box. I picked it up and gave it to my pooch. When he died, he was buried with it as it became his favorite quilt.
Although I have to also say that when my Sis was moving I happened to go to her house and found a quilt I'd made in the Goodwill box. I picked it up and gave it to my pooch. When he died, he was buried with it as it became his favorite quilt.
08-20-2009, 09:38 PM
#38
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Location: Pacific NW
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Originally Posted by butterflywing
there must be something wrong with me. when i give a gift, i take into consideration what the person wants, needs, likes. what size, color, etc.
sometimes it's a giftcard. sometimes a toolchest. sometimes a gift of jewelry. but it's always for that person.
that MIL is not doing that. SHE's having fun, doing what SHE likes to do, making quilts. SHE gets satisfaction winnings ribbons. that's fine. if she then wants to pass them along - great! but they are not xmas gifts to anyone else but herself. anyone who gets them is lucky. but let's not confuse gifting with shedding. she gives these quilts once she has no use for them. if she made a quilt for each person and gave it for the pleasure of the intended person, then it would really be a gift. this way she wants three-for-the-money. 1- the joy of the making 2- the pride of the winning and lastly, 3 - the gratitude of the recipient. note the order of importance here.
what if the dil really wanted slipcovers for her carseats? and the kids wanted some electronic game? what if she actually had to forgo buying fabric in order to give someone else the gift they really wanted? in other words, a gift of the heart. what then?
from that paragraph, the dil is not expressing herself well, but she knows that what she's getting IS unneeded castoffs. regardless of their beauty and/or value. that mil has put herself first. that is not a true gift.
shoot me at dawn.
sometimes it's a giftcard. sometimes a toolchest. sometimes a gift of jewelry. but it's always for that person.
that MIL is not doing that. SHE's having fun, doing what SHE likes to do, making quilts. SHE gets satisfaction winnings ribbons. that's fine. if she then wants to pass them along - great! but they are not xmas gifts to anyone else but herself. anyone who gets them is lucky. but let's not confuse gifting with shedding. she gives these quilts once she has no use for them. if she made a quilt for each person and gave it for the pleasure of the intended person, then it would really be a gift. this way she wants three-for-the-money. 1- the joy of the making 2- the pride of the winning and lastly, 3 - the gratitude of the recipient. note the order of importance here.
what if the dil really wanted slipcovers for her carseats? and the kids wanted some electronic game? what if she actually had to forgo buying fabric in order to give someone else the gift they really wanted? in other words, a gift of the heart. what then?
from that paragraph, the dil is not expressing herself well, but she knows that what she's getting IS unneeded castoffs. regardless of their beauty and/or value. that mil has put herself first. that is not a true gift.
shoot me at dawn.
08-21-2009, 05:12 AM
#39
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: North East USA
Posts: 4,949
Some people don't get it and probobly never will. Even if she were told just how her family feels it would likely make no diffrence. We are all unique and you have to learn to live together or choose to be a loner. That is how you are diffrent from everyone else.
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