Would you make a quilt for someone if you knew there ...
#21
Yes, I definitely would but I have a tremendous burden for children in need. If you don't want to bother buy her a fleece blanket from Walmart and send it with a pretty card and kind note. One of my DD's is a big tall girl and she loves all the beautiful big quilts I made her but she also loves a tiny blue fleece blanket some random person gave her. Fleece has agreat tactile appeal and is very soft.
It seems though your heart is telling you that you want to give her the gift of a quilt and maybe that is how you are expressing your love and care for her too.
It seems though your heart is telling you that you want to give her the gift of a quilt and maybe that is how you are expressing your love and care for her too.
#23
just to clarify.....this is NOT a child I am talking about. She is 22 years old and extremely smart.....mentally though I think she is not quite that mature.....like I said there are issues. She's 9 months older than my oldest dd. When we saw her a few years ago she was just very unsure of herself and kind of awkward. That might have been from being around a huge family she doesn't really know but I think not. Things that I don't even think about my kids doing (like getting in the ocean) she was afraid of. My heart really does break for her.....but at the same time I'm very afraid to get sucked into her life.....there have been overdoses and hospitalizations, and a slew of other issues. But if I can help her I would.......I think she is a very needy young lady at this point.
#25
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,375
OK, without knowing "the whole story"...
It sounds like this girl has drug problems. And...(in my experience) drug users are an opportunistic lot. They do not hold attachments to people or things, and they are looking to gain the upper hand anyway they know how...that is how they survive. That is their way of life.
No, she probably will NOT appreciate a quilt in the way a "normal" person would. She would not appreciate the gazillion hours it takes to make a lap quilt, even a standard size one. She may not tell you thank you, or express "thank you" in enough ways to "prove" to you she likes it.
HOWEVER...imagine things from her perspective. Not from her drug perspective, but from a place where she has deficits and understands the world in a diminished capacity. She is clamoring to survive. She is desperate to try and make it day to day. A quilt...can't be sold off to "make ends meet". She doesn't have a master suite to display this quilt proudly for all the Ladies Who Lunch to ooh and ah over. It may stay with her for a few months, or a few years. Whatever comfort it can give her during the time she has it is more than she had before.
It costs you only time (and some fabric) to send her some comfort. The quilt is a gift to YOU while you're working on it, to meditate-pray-think about this girl and send her well wishes. Decide how much time you want to spend and do it. Sew with a purpose, and then let all that love and concern go with the quilt, to her. Some of it is bound to rub off, kwim?
It sounds like this girl has drug problems. And...(in my experience) drug users are an opportunistic lot. They do not hold attachments to people or things, and they are looking to gain the upper hand anyway they know how...that is how they survive. That is their way of life.
No, she probably will NOT appreciate a quilt in the way a "normal" person would. She would not appreciate the gazillion hours it takes to make a lap quilt, even a standard size one. She may not tell you thank you, or express "thank you" in enough ways to "prove" to you she likes it.
HOWEVER...imagine things from her perspective. Not from her drug perspective, but from a place where she has deficits and understands the world in a diminished capacity. She is clamoring to survive. She is desperate to try and make it day to day. A quilt...can't be sold off to "make ends meet". She doesn't have a master suite to display this quilt proudly for all the Ladies Who Lunch to ooh and ah over. It may stay with her for a few months, or a few years. Whatever comfort it can give her during the time she has it is more than she had before.
It costs you only time (and some fabric) to send her some comfort. The quilt is a gift to YOU while you're working on it, to meditate-pray-think about this girl and send her well wishes. Decide how much time you want to spend and do it. Sew with a purpose, and then let all that love and concern go with the quilt, to her. Some of it is bound to rub off, kwim?
#27
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Oregon City, OR
Posts: 1,016
Originally Posted by pstoner
A gift from your heart is still a gift, once we give the gift we no longer get to decide what is done with the gift. Give her one if it will satisfy your needs, and be happy that you have done so. Love her as you can, if she doesn't come round with the same care for the gift, at least you know you have done a great thing on your part. The best thing about a gift, is the giving.
(((HUGS))))
(((HUGS))))
#29
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,232
Originally Posted by suezquilts
I wonder if you made her apart of the quilt making, make it something special to her.
It sounds like she needs time and good memories.
I have done this with our family and they change their attitudes towards gifts.
Sue
It sounds like she needs time and good memories.
I have done this with our family and they change their attitudes towards gifts.
Sue
#30
Originally Posted by diane647
It really doesn't mater if I would make one or not. The real question is DO YOU WANT TO DO IT? Sometimes we already know the answer to our question. If it would make her feel loved and included it would be wonderful. However you must remember a gift is a gift, the receipent can do with it what they will.
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