Giving Quilts - No Reaction from Recipients
12-28-2011, 08:58 AM
#62
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Port Saint Lucie, Florida
Posts: 361
Originally Posted by Lee in Richmond
Over the years I have had "hand-made" Christmases, and have gotten a very mixed reaction. Especially to lap quilts, which are the most useful things ever! But some times I will see the wall hanging, or lap quilt, or necklace or earrings some years later, and they are liking them at least enough to display when I am at their house. I don't know why people are indifferent to quilts, but maybe it's something in their past, nothing to do with the item. Even if I dislike the colors in a quilt, it still stands for comfort to me.
12-28-2011, 09:30 AM
#63
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: fairyland
Posts: 105
I see that you have made quilts for your mother-in-law before and she loved them. Maybe, just maybe, she or they were thinking oh not another quilt. If you can ask her if she feels she has to many quilts. Some people in my family just don't realize that you can never have to many quilts. Plus, they don't realize how many hundreds of dollars they would have to pay if they were to buy a quilt. Just a few thoughts.
Oh welcome to the Board
Oh welcome to the Board
12-28-2011, 11:17 AM
#64
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: in hiding
Posts: 534
Welcome to the Board! Your story sounds a lot like mine this Christmas. At Thanksgiving I showed my daughter a quilt I was in the process of making...explaining that I was in a class and this one I was showing her was in her colors, but was going to be a charity quilt. Did she like it?
Talk about bored! She really didn't like it because I used purple which isn't one of her colors. I explained that I had used the not so great blocks because it was a practice of the technique and that I had another one in the works that was more in her colors. Again blah response. I was upset and wasn't sure I wanted to give one to her for Christmas.
I confirmed her colors and kept working on the quilt. Meantime I finished the charity quilt and fell in love with it (I wasn't so sure about it myself before). Because our guild had already gifted the quilts this year, I put the charity quilt on the back of my couch and kept on working on the gift quilt.
She came home for Christmas and wrapped up in that charity quilt like she had never seen it before. I couldn't pry it out of her hands. So, before she left for home after Christmas, I showed her the one I was intending to make for her to see if she really wanted it. This time she raved, especially about the back which I am piecing in complementary colors that don't match the front of the quilt (making it reversible). Turns out the back is more in her apartment colors, but the front is also liked because I used a different setting.
Once I get my camera working better, I'll post the results of both quilts. They really are turning out nice. Just goes to show that sometimes you need to plant the idea first and check back to make sure you are still on the same page with your recipient. With all the work we put into these quilts, sometimes it is better to make/start something and allow the recipient a chance to help make it what they want during the process, so they have memories of the process as well as the result. It makes the result more personal to them.
Talk about bored! She really didn't like it because I used purple which isn't one of her colors. I explained that I had used the not so great blocks because it was a practice of the technique and that I had another one in the works that was more in her colors. Again blah response. I was upset and wasn't sure I wanted to give one to her for Christmas.
I confirmed her colors and kept working on the quilt. Meantime I finished the charity quilt and fell in love with it (I wasn't so sure about it myself before). Because our guild had already gifted the quilts this year, I put the charity quilt on the back of my couch and kept on working on the gift quilt.
She came home for Christmas and wrapped up in that charity quilt like she had never seen it before. I couldn't pry it out of her hands. So, before she left for home after Christmas, I showed her the one I was intending to make for her to see if she really wanted it. This time she raved, especially about the back which I am piecing in complementary colors that don't match the front of the quilt (making it reversible). Turns out the back is more in her apartment colors, but the front is also liked because I used a different setting.
Once I get my camera working better, I'll post the results of both quilts. They really are turning out nice. Just goes to show that sometimes you need to plant the idea first and check back to make sure you are still on the same page with your recipient. With all the work we put into these quilts, sometimes it is better to make/start something and allow the recipient a chance to help make it what they want during the process, so they have memories of the process as well as the result. It makes the result more personal to them.
12-28-2011, 11:51 AM
#66
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: La Grande, OR
Posts: 2,457
Originally Posted by deemail
i do think it may be a reaction like sewgray suggested...lots of people simply cannot 'see' what you see when you are looking at a half done project... just complete the project, give them another chance and then if they don't seem to appreciate it, buy those 'sausage and cheese packages' next year.
12-28-2011, 02:37 PM
#67
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Santa Rosa, CA
Posts: 872
Obviously this is a "hot" topic and everyone chooses which way they want to go. I'm so sorry you had such an apathetic response to your quilt.
The first time I had this happen, about 5 years ago, I made wallhangings for my daughter and my son's girl friend. I made a quilt for my son and another for my daughter's best friend for 15 years.
I got 2 thank you's . One from son and another from my daughter. Even though my daughter understands the effort in quilting, she has not hung it up yet. She wants to hang it in her office and she's waiting for her husband to hang it for her. Over a year ago I told her to use push pins and hang it on the wall. (Her office has those walls that you can stick push pins into). She still hasn't put it up.
I gave my husband a quilt and he criticized it when I showed it to him. I still had to quilt it, but all he could see was cat hair and the colors weren't right, etc. I put it in a drawer and didn't work on it for 18 months. When I finally gave it to him, he actually apologized profusely for how he'd reacted and how he'd hurt me.
My son's girl friend, five years later, wrote me an email telling me how sorry she was that she hadn't said thank you and appreciated what a wonderful gift it was.
But I decided I wasn't making quilts for people I didn't know well enough. I'd rather buy them something than put in so much time and effort. I don't hold it against people, but sure wished I hadn't given them the quilt.
The best response I ever got was for a quilt I gave my granddaughter. She had moved into a new house with a bedroom that she chose the colors for. I made a beautiful quilt for it, paid $200 to have it quilted (it was a queen size). ...I always make queen size for full size beds to get a good drop. Well, she called me on the phone and was screaming about how much she loved the quilt. How pretty it was! On and on she went for about 3 minutes!
The first time I had this happen, about 5 years ago, I made wallhangings for my daughter and my son's girl friend. I made a quilt for my son and another for my daughter's best friend for 15 years.
I got 2 thank you's . One from son and another from my daughter. Even though my daughter understands the effort in quilting, she has not hung it up yet. She wants to hang it in her office and she's waiting for her husband to hang it for her. Over a year ago I told her to use push pins and hang it on the wall. (Her office has those walls that you can stick push pins into). She still hasn't put it up.
I gave my husband a quilt and he criticized it when I showed it to him. I still had to quilt it, but all he could see was cat hair and the colors weren't right, etc. I put it in a drawer and didn't work on it for 18 months. When I finally gave it to him, he actually apologized profusely for how he'd reacted and how he'd hurt me.
My son's girl friend, five years later, wrote me an email telling me how sorry she was that she hadn't said thank you and appreciated what a wonderful gift it was.
But I decided I wasn't making quilts for people I didn't know well enough. I'd rather buy them something than put in so much time and effort. I don't hold it against people, but sure wished I hadn't given them the quilt.
The best response I ever got was for a quilt I gave my granddaughter. She had moved into a new house with a bedroom that she chose the colors for. I made a beautiful quilt for it, paid $200 to have it quilted (it was a queen size). ...I always make queen size for full size beds to get a good drop. Well, she called me on the phone and was screaming about how much she loved the quilt. How pretty it was! On and on she went for about 3 minutes!
12-28-2011, 07:19 PM
#70
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bacliff, TX on Galveston Bay
Posts: 1,174
I gave my BIL and SIL a quilt made from an antique quilt top that I quilted. I told them to only wash it on delicate cycle and use mild soap or wash in a bath tub by hand. My SIL brought the quilt to me later and asked me to repair the quilt because some of it came apart when she washed it. She said she usually just buys quilts from Walmart to go on their bed, because they don't cost much! That is right! They don't because they are not quality quilts.
She really did not appreciate the handmade quilt I gave them.
Kathy
She really did not appreciate the handmade quilt I gave them.
Kathy
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