justflyingin

On another note...

How long do you expect that person to keep your quilt that you gave? For life? What happens if it wears out?

I live in Poland far from my family, so I can do what I want with gifts. No one will be the wiser. However, my sis lives very close to my family and was next door to her MIL. She couldn't get rid of anything without someone being upset.

It is very controlling of the giver to expect that person to never get rid of it. Maybe if you make an heirloom quilt--expect that person to keep it pristine and forever. But as for me, if they use it a few years and wash it and was it, and then it kind of gets old it can be used for the dog, and then for rags...I'm fine with that. Why not? If they want to put it in a yard sale and get some money out of it, why not? (after a while--I'd hate to see it after only one or two months).

If I did one like I saw here on this board with all kinds of applique and years of work on it, then I'd probably not give it away.

I make a ton of charity quilts and they are pretty quick and people like them. I have a list of quilts I want to make "just because" but I have a bunch of these freebies to finish up before 2010 is over, hopefully.

So, I also see it both ways. The cheap Chinese quilts that you can buy on sale for $20 has affected people's mindset, though. They have no idea it costs as much as it does to make a quilt. On the other hand, if it isn't their taste...they feel required to use something they don't like.

However, the quilt you posted is quite classy and I'm sorry she left it outside on the ground. However, using it for a blanket on the ground (like a picnic blanket) isn't that bad to me. Maybe it's my age and attitude about things. However, she shouldn't have left it out there....

If we all had everything everyone made us/gave us, where would we live? Our houses would be crowded/cluttered--more than they already are.

polly13

I always enclose a note with my quilts and other homemade items that states: It gave me great joy creating this gift for you. If my choice of fabrics or pattern does not match yours, feel free to pass it on.

prayerquilts

Accepting the Gift of Eternal life with God the Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit is what makes us Christians. I am so thankful for God's grace and love and will eternally be glorifying Him.

Mattee

What exactly does your post have to do with quilts? I was under the impression that religion was out of bounds on this board. Nancy11442 at least mentioned quilts in her post, although she followed it up by making an extremely insulting comment about religion. Your post sounds a lot like proselytizing.

leiladylei54

I feel for you!!! Your granddaughter was young at the time and hopefully with maturity she has changed how she treats homemade things. Naturally it goes without saying that her parents should have stepped in and explained to her what this gift from you meant.

I try to tell people that when I give you a gift I made with my hands, I give you a piece of my heart. That usually works.

janb

Folks in the nursing homes love lap quilts...and appreciate the work that goes into them. I would suggest delivering one in person and see the appreciation in the face of the receiver..

mac

On the other hand...

I made a special quilt for my friend's young daughter fully expecting that the quilt would be dragged through the mud, slept on by the cat, used as a tent, and basically loved to death. However, what happened is that my friend, who does cross-stitching and appreciates the time spent on handmade items, put the quilt away for the time when her daughter would be "old enough to enjoy it with responsibility".

Years later when I found out what happened to the quilt, I was disappointed to find that the quilt wasn't thread bare and that it hadn't been used at all but kept in a closet for 'safe keeping'. I understood my friend's idea of keeping it in a special place so that it wouldn't be abused, but that wasn't what it was made for -- it was made to be loved. To this day it still hasn't been used.

My mom has kept such unused items in her hope chest for years. She is now 88 years old and the things will not be used in her life time, as she now suffers from alzheimer's disease. Of course, I will be the lucky recipient of the handmade gifts that she was gifted over the years and I WILL enjoy them.

This reminds me of a conversation I had with my mom about 20 years ago. I was looking at her china cabinet and marveling at the beautiful tea cups and dishes that she had and asked my mother why she never used the pretty china? She said that she didn't want anything to get broken. With tongue-in-cheek, I thanked her for keeping my inheritance in such wonderful condition and said that when I used it after she was gone I would always think of her. A couple of weeks later I noticed that she was using a beautiful bowl from the china cabinet for holding fruit. I thought, "ahh, my comment hit its target." Unfortunately, it was short lived, after that she put it back in the china cabinet and never used anything else in the cabinet. Very sad, indeed.

Quilter2B

I sympathize with you. I made my grandson a quilt and I was really proud of it - he was my "lil mister, I was there when he was born, spent two hours with him in the recovery room rubbing his feet while my DD came out of anesthestic. They lived with us until he was almost a year old. She left his quilt behind with many other items when her husband convinced her to move back east while he was home on leave. It broke my heart. I've wanted to make him another one but just can't get past the fact that his mommy left the other one behind. Someday I'm sure I'll get over with it. But as has been said, once it is gifted you can only hope the recipient will appreciate the work and effort and love put into it.

JAGSD

When I first read this it made me start thinking. Mainly about teenagers and their treatment of things.But in reality it's not just teenagers. My mother made my son a beautiful quilt with horseheads all over, to my knowledge it is the first she had "given" away. Anyways, my son (and he Loves this quilt) used this quilt 24/7 mainly on his bed, but yes it has lain out underneath the stars in the summer, it has gone camping, I'm sure the dog when she was allowed in the house tested it out. It has been hauled in his pickup front and to my dismay in the back (not much space in the front of a pickup), Yes he still uses it. I seen the other day that the sashing is starting to fray so told him it needs repair. So was this misuse. Not in my eyes- "well used" and "well loved" both front and back. No... kids this age do not understand how much work is in one of these quilts but if this grandchild is like any kids this age. It very well could have been forgotten at a minutes notice and continued to lay where they had been enjoying being wrapped up in it. (show me a kid that is not forgetful)(and being a parent I would have asked or said that is not where it belongs take care of it) but on the same token kids need to learn and a part of that learning is speaking up about it as a parent and grandparent to the person. I would come right out and ask Why? Sometimes we keep things pent up and do not ask or find out the "why" of things and just let things boil until it harms "us" more than anything or anybody. I didn't mean for this to be anything more than my opinion, so take and use what you can of it and discard the rest.
Don't stop-Enjoy your quilting and gifting. But I hope that you resolve this issue with your grandchild,
I am truly learning that "materialistic" things just aren't worth the saving and maybe somedays.....and keeping nice for.... what if that day never comes?

vwquilting

Live and Learn..For our wedding I received several pieces of corning wear I hated the feel so when we moved one of the Aunts expressed her love for them so I told her to take them as I did not like the feel of them

Boy was I wrong. See sometimes people just don't get it until is too late. I had to buy them once I figured out what I lost. Ask the person if they like quilts in conversation them you will know for sure .