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Thread: Was I wrong to be disappointed???

  1. #1
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    Last Christmas I made what I thought was a gorgeous card tricks quilt in purples for my friend who loves purple. It matched her bedroom perfectly. She was all thrilled when she opened it and then last week when I went to visit she tells me she wants to add a ruffle to the bed to match the quilt. Well, I was thinking I could help her with the ruffle so we worked on it together. Then she brings out the quilt and says we are pinning it directly to the quilt. I was hurt that she thought it needed something more, but I went along with it. Then she asks me to sew it since I'm a better seamstress and when it was finished she pronounced it "FINALLY BEAUTIFUL" like it wasn't pretty before the ruffle.

  2. #2
    Super Member Dawn Hendrix's Avatar
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    O my.. I wouldn't be hurt.. some people just like what they like.... Ruffle is NEVER on my like side of things but this is what makes the world go round... we all like something different and for her ya know it is RUFFLES.

  3. #3
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    it's like putting on jewelry - not dressed until you do. some people are more fru-fru than others. i'm sure there was nothing wrong with your quilt.

  4. #4
    Super Member frauhahn's Avatar
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    Well-try not to take it too personally-some people can be pretty insensitive. . .

  5. #5
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    WE all see things differnt (((hugs))) you made the beauty in making the quilt. She was seeing something different in the full picture. It took both of you to make it JUST right. Rejoyce she is your friend and you must love her a lot to have made a quilt... See the beauty in the fullness. Many hugs and you are a great friend, I am sure she is honored. :)

  6. #6
    Super Member clsurz's Avatar
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    I wouldn't be hurt by it. She did get you to help her to add something she wanted to it. I'm pretty sure if she had not liked it she would not have invited you to add the ruffle to it and most likely would not be having it on her bed.

    Some folks just like cutsy things to such stuff. Not my cup of tea but I understand folks like her who do.

    As they say different strokes for different folk.

  7. #7
    Super Member carolaug's Avatar
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    I wouldn't be upset...we all have different tastes...I am a no ruffle person...I am sure she will love and enjoy the quilt for many years.

  8. #8
    Super Member luv-e's Avatar
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    OUCH!!
    You did what you thought she wanted and she loved it...... She just doesn't know that a ruffle on that might be just alittle too much, if you don't mind me saying...???
    I'm so sorry she hurt your feelings.......When will we ALL learn to keep our quilting masterpieces to ourselves??
    I honestly don't think she ment for you to take it personal..
    {{{{{{BIG HUG}}}}}}}}

  9. #9
    Super Member Floralfab's Avatar
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    There are some people who don't have the slightest clue of how much work and love goes into a quilt. You are a good friend to help make and then add the ruffle to the quilt. You know that saying "no good deed goes unpunished." Just keep on being her friend and know in your heart that a quilt doesn't need a ruffle. :-D

  10. #10
    Super Member SuziC's Avatar
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    I'm sure she was happy with it and was just adding to it in her own way. Don't take it so personally...she would probably feel awful if she know.

  11. #11
    Super Member Dolphyngyrl's Avatar
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    Hey, she loves the quilt enough to show it off, at least its not in a closet somewhere collecting dust, maybe she just really likes ruffles, don't feel bad she likes it what more can you ask.

  12. #12
    Super Member roseOfsharon's Avatar
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    LOL, well she is happy! That's the main thing. I do believe, had I wanted a ruffle, I would just do one that was attached to a fitted sheet and use under the mattress pad on the mattress.

  13. #13
    Senior Member SewMomma66's Avatar
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    Please forgive her ignorance. Most people have no idea how much work, sweat, time and love goes into one of our creations. These projects are almost like children (forgive my drama). We spend so much time, work, sweat and love wanting them to be independent and sometimes get offended when they are. She probably has no idea she hurt your feelings. Did it occur to you maybe she needed a little of her in the quilt you made so "expertly"? This way she also had more input and it made it even more special. She did not hide it in a closet, only embelished it to make it perfect in her eyes. After all it is hers now. Momma bear let it go. She still your friend and still loves you!

  14. #14
    Super Member Raggiemom's Avatar
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    Don't be disappointed. Eveyone likes different things. Some people like a ruffle to hide underneath the bed. My cats would love to have a ruffle so they could sneak out and pounce! You're a great friend to help her put it on.

  15. #15
    Super Member Raggiemom's Avatar
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    Don't be disappointed. Eveyone likes different things. Some people like a ruffle to hide underneath the bed. My cats would love to have a ruffle so they could sneak out and pounce! You're a great friend to help her put it on.

  16. #16
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    Don't take it personal. She had an idea of what kind of frame would make it prettier. For her.

    It's like an artist making a frame for his masterpiece, giving it to a friend who immediately changed the frame to one he liked better. The art work is still being framed and put in a place of honor.

    She loved your quilt, don't worry about the "frame".

  17. #17
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    Every body is diffrent!

  18. #18
    Super Member tellabella's Avatar
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    I guess once you gift it to someone they can do whatever they want with it...at least she is using it and loves it...maybe she thinks of you as such a good friend as to feel comfortable in saying that with...like one would do with a sister or mom...

  19. #19
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    I can go one better. When two of my grandchildren were little boys, I made each of them a 'special' keepsake quilt. Upon a subsequent visit to their home, my daughter-in-law (of Asian descent) was using one of the quilts in the bottom of a box where she was keeping newborn puppies. It was covered with urine and fesces. This broke my heart; but, as a good mother-in-law, I never said a word. However, my dreams of making my son and his wife a king size quilt went down the drain. May God soften my heart.

  20. #20
    Senior Member kwendt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by QuiltnNan
    it's like putting on jewelry - not dressed until you do. some people are more fru-fru than others. i'm sure there was nothing wrong with your quilt.
    I like Nan's comment. Some people just like different things. Her 'look' she was going for was different. I have a great niece that I love to pieces, but she wants me to do a quilt for her all in blacks and greys. No color. Her mind set is like that too... she's very young, and hasn't yet learned that life is not 'black and white"! lol. So I told her I'd make her a quilt after she's settled down some.... perhaps has a house of her own... 'cause, you know.... she'll decorate. (I'm really stalling for time, 'cause I figure her taste will drastically change!). If it doesn't.... well.. I'll make her a B/G quilt then.

    I've noticed in my family that those folks who don't know anything about quilts or quilting.... tend to expect quilts to be like J.C. Penney comforters.... you know... large, puffy, polyblend fabrics, washable every 3rd week in the machine set on 'normal', etc. Delivered in a plastic zip bag! Wouldn't surprise me at all to see those family members ask for ruffles, flounces, and the like.

  21. #21
    Super Member Jill's Avatar
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    I have a dear friend who made quilts for her grown married daughters last year for Christmas. When she told me she was adding a ruffle to each I thought at first she was kidding. (The daughters had not requested a ruffle.) Good thing we were on the phone and not in person because I could cover my gasp with a cough. I had time to brace myself before seeing them in person. Not my cup of tea at all, but she was just pleased as punch with them. I've never mentioned it since and do not intend to again.

  22. #22
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    Thanks for all the comments.......I will just take it with a grain of salt and after all, as tellabella said........it was a gift and she can do with it what she wants. I'll just have to keep reminding myself of that.

  23. #23
    Super Member bamamama's Avatar
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    Guess she does not know how to make a bed skirt! I'd have never even thought of adding a ruffle to the quilt. I wouldn't be disappointed, some people just have bad taste.

  24. #24
    Junior Member NanaInVirginia's Avatar
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    So many people have written such wise words! I don't understand a ruffle at all, but to each her own. I just have to comment on the statements about how people just don't understand the work that goes into quilts. I have had people I barely know ask me to make them a quilt. I always struggle with a way to say no that doesn't show just how ridiculous they are for asking. You know something like "Sure, and to repay the favor you can paint my house for me."

  25. #25
    Super Member hcarpanini's Avatar
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    I would take it as a compliment.

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