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Thread: Was I wrong to be disappointed???

  1. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by hcarpanini
    I would take it as a compliment.
    thanks..that's probably the best thing to do

  2. #27
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    Sorry, but I find that pretty insensitive and quite frankly, rude on her part. You made her a lovely quilt from your heart. She was wrong to do what she did, plain and simple. If she likes ruffles, she can add them in many places in her room. She didn't need to hurt your feelings by not only adding to your quilt, but then declaring it "finally beautiful". Seriously, this lady needs some lessons in manners, friendship and graciousness, qualities you seem to have in spades! :-D

  3. #28
    Super Member luv-e's Avatar
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    Ya know...it's too bad we can't put instructions with our quilts lol lol lol

  4. #29

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    Maybe she has had trouble in the past with dust ruffles being too long and getting stepped on and then torn. Also a dust ruffle is a pain to first put on the bed if you don't have help. Or maybe she just couldn't find a pre-made one that would match.
    She obviously liked your quilt or she would have just put it on a quilt rack and not used it. Just another way to look at things.
    Peggy

  5. #30
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    Some people like frills and ruffles and some don't

  6. #31
    Super Member Scrap Happy's Avatar
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    I believe if she knew she made you feel bad she would feel terrible. She probably trusted you enough to let you know what more she wanted in the quilt and didn't think for a second it would upset you. Personally I think she should have just put a dust ruffle on the bed. She probably has no idea how much time and thought (and love) went into this quilt.

    I made a quilt for my DMIL and she kept it in the closet. I wasn't hurt just wish I had made something she liked. After she passed away my DSIL wanted it and DH was fine with it so now it is being loved.

  7. #32

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scrap Happy
    I believe if she knew she made you feel bad she would feel terrible. She probably trusted you enough to let you know what more she wanted in the quilt and didn't think for a second it would upset you. Personally I think she should have just put a dust ruffle on the bed. She probably has no idea how much time and thought (and love) went into this quilt.

    I made a quilt for my DMIL and she kept it in the closet. I wasn't hurt just wish I had made something she liked. After she passed away my DSIL wanted it and DH was fine with it so now it is being loved.
    Maybe your MIL was like so many older people, She was saving it for good. I'm not going to leave my children with anything that I have saved for good. We never know how much time we have and if given a gift we should use it. I'm so glad that it has found a home that will use and treasure it.

  8. #33
    Super Member luckylindy333's Avatar
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    I think I would have told her to buy a dust ruffle...

  9. #34
    Junior Member trugger's Avatar
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    I can understand the disappointment, but it doesn't sound like the recipient meant to be insulting.

  10. #35
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    instead of taking this as a negative think of it as...she loves the quilt enough she wants to make it even more usable in her world (with your assistance) much better than going to visit to find out the quilt is on a closet shelf because it (needed a ruffle)
    be happy she loves it that much!
    i made my sister in law a quilt one time...a crazy quilt with velvets, silks, lots of hand work...beautiful...i made it to go on their new leather sofa...where it looks beautiful! sister in law decided a quilt should be on the bed instead of on the couch..so hid it away because it's too small for her bed...it took a year for me to find out the (truth) about the quilt. when i made it i thought it was perfect for what i made it for...not my house...not my decision...not so perfect after all...at least your friend was up=front enough to let you know (and help) make it fit (her) better...i wish mine behaved the same :thumbup:

  11. #36
    Super Member quiltmaker's Avatar
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    She loved your quilt and also trusted you to make the ruffles. Just because she wanted ruffles doesn't mean she was trying to hurt you. I feel it was in a sense an honor that she came to you for help in what she liked. It had nothing to do with how she felt about the quilt as she obviously loves it but just desired ruffles. Strange as that may sound to many of us...she probably felt the ruffles would add to what her dream look for her bedroom would be... We all have different tastes....and she did come to you for help in accomplishing what her vision of her dream room would be. I truly don't think she was being thoughtless as she obviously loved the quilt you made her...she just wanted an added touch to it. I would have felt honored and not bothered by her saying it was finally beautiful...she just had her own vision and you were gracious enough to help her create her dream room. I imagine that she will always be grateful to you and in no way felt she was hurting/insulting you but actually believed in your abilities and creative talent to take it a bit further to create her version of a very special bedroom.

  12. #37
    Super Member jitkaau's Avatar
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    One that I made for a friend ended up being cut down because she only liked the quilt to sit on top of the bed and not over the sides.I put it down to the fact that I wasn't observant enough and I don't give them away any more.They are made to order and I am not disappointed.

  13. #38
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    I am sorry you got your feelings hurt. Been there and done that but I am sure since she had you help her that she did not mean to be so insensitive. You made her a beautiful quilt that she is displaying on her bed and you know how she changed it so it is no surprise to you so just enjoy the fact that she loves it enought to want it on her bed.

  14. #39
    Senior Member kraftykimberly's Avatar
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    No no no, she was not trying to hurt or insult you at all. We are all different, our tastes in anything and everything vary from person to person and are rarely the same. It's like vanilla/chocolate, morning person/night owl, mayo/miracle whip, you are usually one or the other, but that doesnt make just one of them "right". It's like if you were to choose a dress with spaghett straps or a dress with ruffles, your choice wouldnt be right or wrong, it would just be your preference. Your friend prefers ruffles. Take comfort in knowing she is content with her new quilt with ruffles. Wouldnt be my thing either but neither is miracle whip :-)

  15. #40
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    Of course you weren't wrong, but she probably didn't mean to hurt you. Chalk it up to ignorance about the challenges of making a quilt, and being oblivious to the fact that you would have some emotional investment in your creation. Your friend is tactless and you are a doll to quietly help her "fix up" your quilt.

  16. #41
    Super Member Fabaddict's Avatar
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    I am not sure I would be hurt, disappointed maybe and thinking they have no taste. Which obviously she doesn't have any.

  17. #42
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    OMG Din who would put a ruffle on a quilt. I would have been disappointed too ,thats like going to someones house you gave a quilt to and the kids are playing on it are you are looking for it and you don't see it anywhere.

    Deemars

  18. #43
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    I don't see anything wrong with her putting a "dust ruffle" on your quilt. In fact, the color she used may have enhanced the quilt. If I had a quilt for my bed, I would put a ruffle on it.

    My reason and possibly your friends, I cannot put a "bed skirt" Dust Ruffle between my matress and springs.

    Don't feel bad! What if she just gave it back like some I've read. Be happy that she is happy with it!

  19. #44
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    I can undetstand being hurt but I really think your friend didn't mean to hurt your feelings by the comment she made...people say things and don't realize the impact of their words. If she really disliked it, it would have disappeared. She asked you to add a ruffle because she wanted a quilted bedspread (IMHO). It is hard to make a perfert gift for anyone I think. I thought I knew my brother well but after one gift disaster, I now ask what he wants. For me, once I give something to someone, I try to let go. For someone who doesn't craft/quilt/crochet/knit, they don't understand that every step of the process is filled with thoughts of them. They are the inspiration and there is no greater tribute to our loved ones than the products of our hands and hearts. I send (((HUGS))) to you and yours.

  20. #45
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    Marvelous Statement! We really don't give each other enough credit for being ourselves, do we? What would the world be without individualism?

  21. #46
    Senior Member MarieM's Avatar
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    When I give a quilt (or anything hand made) as a gift, it is just that, a gift. If they want to change to make it more usable for them I'm all for it. However I am extremely selective who I give hand made gifts to. Having 4 sisters and a brother with lots of nieces and nephews and grand nieces and nephews I know they all appreciate them.

    Marie M.

  22. #47
    Senior Member MarieM's Avatar
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    When I give a quilt (or anything hand made) as a gift, it is just that, a gift. If they want to change to make it more usable for them I'm all for it. However I am extremely selective who I give hand made gifts to. Having 4 sisters and a brother with lots of nieces and nephews and grand nieces and nephews I know they all appreciate them.

    Marie M.

  23. #48
    Super Member wolph33's Avatar
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    no she loved it she just had a different idea.I would only be disappointed if she kept it in the closet.

  24. #49
    Power Poster Annaquilts's Avatar
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    I would be thrilled she is using it and that she was comfortable enough with you to express herself and ask for help. I guess in her mind it needed ruffles. I have a quilt I designed and made for DD and she wants stuff on it. It is laying in my studio right now and I am collecting buttons.

  25. #50
    Power Poster sewbizgirl's Avatar
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    Purple AND ruffled... gag. I see it a little differently. If she wanted a ruffle, so be it and you helped her, but to say "Finally beautiful", like your work needed her finishing touch to become beautiful, was just plain RUDE. If that's what she thought, she should have kept that thought to herself. If it was ME, I would have to tell her how/why she hurt my feelings by what she said, before I could go on the same way with the friendship. Give her that chance to explain what she meant by that statement and to apologize. Adding the ruffle wasn't rude (chalk it up to taste) but those words sure were!

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