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Thread: most are disappointed with reactions to gifting hand made

  1. #26
    Super Member natalieg's Avatar
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    I have learned who in my family gets the homemade gifts and who deosn't. Also learned who gets the ones that took a long time to make, like a quilt, and who gets the ones that are simple two hour table toppers. I worked my heart and sould into two lap quilts for my step-mom and dad (woodcrafters for over 30 years) thinking if anyone would appreciate it, they would. The reaction was-nice blankets....I was floored! Now that they have visited with me (second time in 28 years) I can see that they are mildly interested, but not a lot. No worries, I just won't spend a lot of time in a quilt for them. They built a log cabin home in the hills and small one-room guest house too. I was kind of looking forward to making quilts for the beds, but no worries.

  2. #27
    Super Member Shelbie's Avatar
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    I think that sometimes people do change their reactions and appreciation for handcrafted items over time. When my son was about 18 and his quilt was getting well worn, he told me that he didn't want another quilt as they weren't worth the time or money. I said, "No problem" and promply hunted out all the old wool scratchy camp blankets that we owned and they went on his bed that winter (we live in Canada, winters are cold!). A couple of months later my son said `Hey Mom, when do I get my new quilt`. It turned out that he just couldn`t stand the feel of that scratchy wool next to his skin and it was either apologize to mom and beg for a new one or start wearing pj`s to bed and no 18 year old guy wants to do that. He`s now 23 and wants a new quilt for his new place.

  3. #28
    Super Member mhansen6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hosta
    I swore off giving any handmade items to family 20 years ago. no one appreciated my work so I thought bleech on them. now I only give to others who really know the value and want the gift. so why do you keep torturing yourselves by gifting to those who don't appreciate them. They are not going to change. I hope I am not sounding rude but why continue to do it?
    Because the one person I want to enjoy my quilts is my daughter and she just doesn't care about them. I only have one daughter to give my quilts to and she is just not into them. But I am going to stop trying with her. I am going to make some quilts for me and my husband. I have always given them away. I do appreciate how much time goes into these quilts, so I will give them to myself.

  4. #29
    Super Member plainpat's Avatar
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    Each of my family that likes quilts has one from me & the DDs both have 2-3.Color choices change,so time to make the girls & Grdaughter new quilts.Will wait till the teen age Grsons are older for new quilts.They both prefer gift cards.

    My only Sis doesn't like quilts or anything else that is hand made.One less I have to make.We all like diff colors, diff styles.....so not a problem.



    Quote Originally Posted by mhansen6
    Quote Originally Posted by Hosta
    I swore off giving any handmade items to family 20 years ago. no one appreciated my work so I thought bleech on them. now I only give to others who really know the value and want the gift. so why do you keep torturing yourselves by gifting to those who don't appreciate them. They are not going to change. I hope I am not sounding rude but why continue to do it?
    Because the one person I want to enjoy my quilts is my daughter and she just doesn't care about them. I only have one daughter to give my quilts to and she is just not into them. But I am going to stop trying with her. I am going to make some quilts for me and my husband. I have always given them away. I do appreciate how much time goes into these quilts, so I will give them to myself.

  5. #30
    community benefactor Parrothead's Avatar
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    I agree with Feline Fanatic. I think of the person I am making for while I create. It keeps me closer to family members we don't see often.

  6. #31
    Super Member kateyb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by #1piecemaker
    My problem is just the opposite. Everybody wants one!!!!! I can't give to one without the other wanting them. I've got a large family and it will take forever. I think I'll start an assembly line of lap quilts. heehehehehe!! I do sympathise with yor problem though. The true spirit of Christmas has been lost!!
    I, too, have a large family. I have 10 siblings and their families. (My total extended family numbers 72) They all want a quilt. I am gradually working on getting one made for each of them but it is going to take a while.
    All 4 of my children are actually bummed if they don't receive a handmade gift.
    My 5 year old grandson already has 3 quilts (2 were "cheater" quilts) Every time he comes over and sees a new one in progress he asks if it is for him. This year he requested polar fleece jammies. I made him 3 pair.
    I have 3 close friends who I know would appreciate having a quilt.
    Everyone is wired differently. Some appreciate hand crafts others don't.

  7. #32
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    I would rather a donation be made in my name for a charity rather than a gift card. I would rather give to a charity in someone elses name than give them a gift they don't want/need. That is just me.(quote)

    That is just how I got a goat and some chickens. DD and family donated them to a family in Africa through World vision. Readign their catalog was very emotional and made me feel even better about it. She also gave me a gift certificate for Joanne's....

  8. #33
    Diecy's Avatar
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    I understand what you're saying. I've seen it to often with many families. Fortunately I have a family that does appreciate what I make for them, even the grandchcildren. That's a blessing in this economy.

  9. #34

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    Stop Now! so you will stop getting hurt, sometimes if you donate to people you don't know they will be more happy with your beautiful things.

  10. #35
    mim
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    Super Member mim's Avatar
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    I make a quilt because I love the design -- if it happens as I hand quilt that the quilt takes on a personality that cries out to belong to a person, then that is where it goes. No strings attached.

    I once designed and made a quilt that I gave for my grand nephews wedding. Never met either him or his bride until the wedding. They turned out to be perfect for each other and the quilt.

    Serendipity I guess. Several people have broadly hinted that they would love to get a quilt from me -- I smile and say that when their quilt is "born" they will get it.

  11. #36
    Super Member JEM65's Avatar
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    I always hope that when I give someone a homemade gift that they will love it. Sometimes I am very disappointed with their responses but I just don't give up my joy in making them. Sometimes the recipient knows how much time and love went into the item and is thrilled!

  12. #37
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    I feel I have to chime in on this. I am not one of those people that shows the ooh and ahh response that people like. Now I could give my wife a pencil and it would be like the best thing in the world for her, but me, I am just not that way. My DW made me a beautiful quilt last year based on Movie Themes. She spent an enormous amount of time on this and then trying to keep it a secret from me on top of it. On Christmas day my DW with her beautiful smile and sparkling eyes handed me this package. I opened it, took it out of the box and said "oh a quilt" and put it back in the box. Needless to say I was in the dog house with Hero our dog. But I really love it, use it all the time, totally a work of art, tell everyone about it and in fact I call it my d**n quilt because every time I cover with it I fall asleep and get nothing done. Sometimes the response we get in the beginning does not reflect how we feel about the gift. I must say I am really trying harder to show my emotion of excitement better because the hurt on her face was beyond words.

  13. #38
    Junior Member QuiltingB's Avatar
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    I've been lucky. For the past two years I've made my family hand made gifts and they were very well received. I made slippers, purses, a doll, warm caps, pillowcases. I feel for those who have experienced bad reactions to their hard work.

  14. #39
    Junior Member jean knapp's Avatar
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    I agree I only give quilts to those I know will love them. Otherwise your feelings get hurt. And who needs that.

  15. #40

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    I too have had many years of disappointing reactions to hand made gifts (or as my MIL puts it "home made").... I have a friend who made me start giving them again .... she told me she enjoys making her gifts (she makes purses) and she gives them out of love and doesn't care what people think... she continues to give them and just doesn't care ... I like her attitude. I enjoy the making of my projects and enjoy the giving and have just decided to follow my friend's lead ... given in love ... and let it go. I can't afford to buy everyone gifts, I make them out of my stash and make useful items (everyone gets a set of kitchen towels and potholders and parents this year got mug rugs or coasters). I don't share my quilts with many! THOSE are personal! Don't mess with my quilts!!! I make baby quilts for anyone who is having a baby and again, don't really care if they are appreciative or not .... other than that .... my blood, sweat and tears go into my other quilts and no one gets those without much consideration ....

  16. #41
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    I have been very fortunate in this area. From my mother age 87 down to my youngest grandchild and everyone in between whether family or friend has loved the gifts I make for them. they actually look forward to them. I think some of them would be disappointed if I didn't give something that was homemade.

  17. #42
    Junior Member jean knapp's Avatar
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    Oh you have inspired me. My SIL said oh dont make a quilt, we arent into home made. That cheap fabric. Well first I dont buy cheap if its for a baby. But you know what I think now I will just do what makes me happy. Thank you so much.

  18. #43
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    I love giving handmade gifts and, usually, also enjoy receiving them. However, DH and I have received some "interesting" presents from his mother. One year, she sent me a hemmed piece of coarse, brown fabric and neither one of us could figure out what I was supposed to do with it :?

  19. #44
    Senior Member YukonViv's Avatar
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    You know, I always get asked when I'm at the quilt shop buying fabric who this quilt is for. My response is always to shrug and say for me. I never start a quilt (unless it's a miniquilt exchange piece that I've joined) with someone in mind. Usually by the end of the quilt it's found a home with someone who's fallen for it. Then I know it's appreciated.

  20. #45
    Super Member mountain deb's Avatar
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    Next year, I am going to insist they put in a category for gift exchanges; do you appreciate homemade gifts? That will tell me how much time or $$$ to put into the gift.

  21. #46

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    Definitely right. I spent so much time and money on making gifts for family only to realize they didn't really care. Won't do that again.

  22. #47

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    I really feel sorry for you and the ones you gave those gifts to. My family members and my friends are always saying whatever i am making is theirs. So i guess i am very blessed.
    I knit and crochet at work and when i finish a quilt i take it in for everyone to see. They all wish i would make them one.
    I also make hats for the emergency department at the hospital i work at and when someone comes in and needs a hat they appreciate them when they walk out with one.

  23. #48
    Super Member knlsmith's Avatar
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    My problem is when I give a quilt or bag, someome else wants to buy one and it gets out of control sometimes. I have trouble saying no sometimes. I agree with what was said earlier, know your recipient.

  24. #49
    community benefactor stitchofclass2's Avatar
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    Beautiful quilts and beautiful daughter. You are very fortunate.

  25. #50
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    Oh what gorgeous girls, you are so well blessed. The quilt is gorgeous too, love the colours and big star design. Many sincere congratulations.

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