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Thread: most are disappointed with reactions to gifting hand made

  1. #51
    Super Member
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    I do both. The home made gifts I make are generally extremely inexpensive, and so I can afford to get them something from their list too. Still, I think a hand made gift is more loving. It's for me as much as it is for them. I have always thought the gifting was more gratifying than the receiving, and so I do it for me. I don't need for them to like it for me to feel good about giving it. I try to make something I think they'll like, but if they don't, I don't get worked up over it. In fact, I always tell them they aren't required to like it or to use it.

  2. #52
    Junior Member cooper's Avatar
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    Materialistic people are not on my list

  3. #53

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    I have to agree with you. Just because you are a quilter doesn't mean it is something someone else likes. It's like decor: some like antiques, some hate antiques, some like modern, some hate modern. Or if I grew heirloom tomatoes and wanted to share them, I'd make sure I gave them to tomato lovers...some people hate them. I would never give a hand-made gift just because it's what I do. I carefully weigh whether or not I think the item is something they would love and appreciate. I do that with all gifts....All of my children love to read and I listen and watch what they read and read reviews of books before I select one for them. I say stop torturing yourself by giving without some knowledge of their likes and dislikes.

  4. #54
    Super Member C.Cal Quilt Girl's Avatar
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    I'm Blessed with those who like them, and other handmade goodies if not have been polite enought not to dismiss the effort that went into it.
    Too True to me,that a Quilt project, tells me who it belongs to as it being made.

  5. #55

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    A few years ago for Christmas, I made my mom a pink prayer shawl that had some sparkle to it. I included a heartfelt letter with the gift. During our weekly phone conversation she hadn't mentioned the gift, so I asked how she liked it. There was an uncomfortable pause. She said she sent it home with my brother, because she thought someone would steal it (she lives in a skilled facility). So the shawl and the heartfelt thoughts live tucked away in my brother's attic!

  6. #56
    community benefactor p38flygirl's Avatar
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    that is so sad about the shawl...My mother in law gave away or thru away most of my gifts, so I learned not to give her anything that was special to me...But she had a little mean streak...
    Then when I was a newly wed going to nursing school, I made an afghan for my step mother...I had saved a long time to buy the kit..We really didn't have a lot of extra money...we were just living on love...and barely making it...Anyway, she got it dirty and washed it in hot water and put it in the dryer..Needless to say, It was ruined...Then she threw it outside for the dog to play with...Lessoned learned...I never made her anything else...
    So I am very careful who I give handmade items to....But now I have beautiful daughters in law and a daughter and sons who love my work....and they are always asking for something to be made special...And I really enjoy doing it for them...Also for Christmas, I got lots of gift cards for fabric shopping at my favorite stores....

  7. #57
    Jim
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    Super Member Jim's Avatar
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    Ive never recieved an unappreciated response to a quilt gift..sorry for those who have..dunno how I'd actually react

  8. #58
    Junior Member Judebug's Avatar
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    I didn't read all the postings in this thread so this line of thought may have already been discussed. My suggestion is to write a coupon for the item you wish to gift. Include the option to choose pattern and colors that are suitable for both the giver and receiver. It becomes a customized piece of work you know will be used and appreciated. If that isn't a suitable solution, perhaps including a note that allows the receiver to make a comparable request would work. Also think in terms of size - maybe a wearable item, wall hanging or lap quilt is preferable to a bed quilt? Why work harder than necessary if it won't be appreciated?

  9. #59
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    I've been watching the board for some time now and never had time to get on and answer. Work nights and take a bit of time to look but have lots of other things to do. Told my sister about your site. Hope she enjoys it as much as I have so far. In answer to question about reactions to gifts. I must be blessed with my family. Even my sister who is a quilter likes to get quilted gifts from me. This year I gave a throw size quilt to my nephew and his new wife and had another neice that got one last year pouting because she didn't get a big one this year. She got a wall hanging that she liked but still had quilt envy. All this started when 2 great neices wanted to know where their quilts were after mom and dad got a king sized one for xmas the year before. I had hints for at least a half dozen more before the night was done. Like I said; guess I'm lucky.

  10. #60
    quiltnerd's Avatar
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    I never made my brother a wedding quilt when he got married because I thought he would say it was silly.

    Just last month, after 5 years of marriage, he asked me why I never made him a quilt! I felt terrible, and now I'm rushing to get one done for him!

    I guess it just proves that you never know what is going on in someone else's head.

  11. #61
    Super Member fidgety's Avatar
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    My family usually asks each other.. well what will she make us for xmas this year?? I hope I get a....... or a... is the usual ?'s at xmas time.. They love my work and do not snub it..

  12. #62
    Senior Member stchenfool's Avatar
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    I have the same feeling. So what I do is give things to the local charity - I know those people need it and really appreciate it! Gifts should be gifts. Why do we kill ourselves calling, asking, bla, bla, bla. Just do what's in your heart. Enough said. Happy New Year. :lol:

  13. #63
    Member marjobee's Avatar
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    Because you become a quilter....and no matter what family we are born into, quilters will always be a "breed" of their own!

  14. #64
    Senior Member Dreaming's Avatar
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    I'm almost scared to say this, but just because someone makes something doesn't mean a person has to like it. Maybe it's just not there kind of thing. I know there has been times that I have been given something that I don't particularly care for. A person just needs to give the things to people that you know has seen your work and you can tell how they feel about it. Personally, I think alot of things that people make are a waste of time. But we all have different tastes, and if that's what they enjoy, so be it. If we all liked the same things, I think this would be a pretty boring world.

  15. #65
    Power Poster PaperPrincess's Avatar
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    I totally agree with Dreaming. everyone is different and different doesn't mean bad, just different. I'm really weird. I really love the PROCESS. I love fabric shopping, I love cutting and sewing. when i'm done, it's almost like huh, now where did that quilt/bag etc. come from? I was having such a good time making it that I'm disappointed when it's over. I almost never personalize anything. When I give something, 99% of the time I tell them if they don't care for it, please re-gift it to someone who they think would like it. Having said that I will admit that most of my hand mades were well received (or all my friends deserve Oscars). When you are giving a gift, who are you trying to make happy, you or the recipient?

  16. #66
    Super Member duckydo's Avatar
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    Love that quilt, what is the pattern? if you don't mind

  17. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Murphy
    I suppose because we value these lovely gifts so much we hope for a change (sigh). You know the saying "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results".

    Also, some of us don't have others to give to.
    I love the "saying." One might say it applies to quilting. :lol: I'm lucky to have at least three family members who appear to love my quilted gifts.

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