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Thread: OK, so my long arm has to pay for itself-why doesn't his boat?

  1. #26
    Senior Member arimuse's Avatar
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    I don't justify anything, and if I want something bad enough and hubs seems to not be warm to the idea I just save up and buy it myself. (saving might mean he'll be eating cereal for dinner for a yr!)
    Life is very short. All I do is ask myself: 1. do I really want it? (I never ask if I need things because when I go down that road well, really all I "need" is food and water!)2. Will I ever use it? (I have way too much "stuff" and I have to keep up w/ dusting around it!) 3. Can I afford it w/o making a debt? (I almost always buy things after saving up for all or most all of the cost of it.)

    I did get him to buy a riding lawn mower several yrs ago. I did most of the lawn mowing/ raking. (I prefer outside to inside work!)I finally said no more, he could do it or hire it done. (we have close to an acre yard to mow, and I was pushing a mower.) Well, on 4th of July w/e he was going to mow, had trouble starting the mower, it was over 100% out, and after just the front he said, lets ride around town and look for someone for hire - well, the 4th after all -lol.
    of course there was no one mowing!
    we road right to the John Deere dealer and had a mower in the yard in an hr! Now, I hardly get a chance to mow - he loves his toy!! sharet

    oh, my next big spend will be a complete new set of pots/pans, in stainless steel. He doesn't seem to understand the need of a pot having a lid that fits! All the stuff I have is mismatched every kind of cooking materials you can imagine. Some of mine, some of his wife's some from goodwill - I want one full real set of cookware cus I love to cook.

  2. #27
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    I've never thought that DH is more deserving then I am to have material things. I love and respect my DH but his pedestal is not higher then mine.

  3. #28
    Super Member Nanamoms's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
    Tell him he needs to give people paid boat rides while you're quilting for hire LOL
    I was just going to suggest that "he" open a charter service and take people out fishing. HeHe!!

    M E N!!!!!!!

  4. #29
    Junior Member gaevren's Avatar
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    I don't have this issue. We both have some expensive hobbies, and he is perfectly aware that if he gets to spend money on his, I get to spend money on mine!

    We actually encourage each other to do what we want which can be dangerous at times, lol.

    But it's the same reason I encourage him to go out and do things without me when he wants to. I remember watching clingy jealous girlfriends who would get upset and mad if their boyfriends didn't include them in EVERYTHING they did, even a "guy's night out", but yet would expect their boyfriends to let them have a "girl's night" without the men! Double standard much?

    He really likes the fact that I encourage him to do what makes him happy so he is happy to reciprocate :)

  5. #30
    Super Member amyjo's Avatar
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    Mine same way, only we live on farm. my off farm jobs help pay for diesel fuel and gas to cut, bale and feed the darn cows and horses on this farm. If he says anything, I just remind him that if he wants, he should start his own slush fund to pay for fuel and gas to feed his animals. He shuts up in a hurry. He knows that I don't spend money for junk or blow it to set out in the pasture like some of the stuff he has. He was surprised when he hauled a load of copper and radiators and other scrap down to the scrap yard at how much he got for it. I told him to get busy and get some more gone before someone else decides to come in sometime when we are gone and come back to a bunch missing. Have had stuff stolen here before. Can't seem to catch the thieves either.

  6. #31
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    We don't have those problems...thank you. Dh has always supported my hobbies just as I support his.

  7. #32
    Senior Member Selena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by luvspaper
    Looking at it from another angle....when the two of you were deciding on purchasing the LA, did you ever mention that you hope to make money from doing others quilts on it? Especially trying to justify why it was needed or could be used? If you did, it might have been that you put the bug in his ear.

    DH and I each have "fun money" -- it generally works for our hobbies but something like a LA would have to come out of general savings/budget/credit.
    Yes, I did try to justify it. That's my point, why did I feel the need to? He said I could have it if I wanted it. I bought it used and paid cash. It didn't put us in a bind until he lost his job 2 weeks later which no one could have foreseen. I have wanted to quilt for over 30 years and was busy as a single mom with 3 kids, helping them with their children, helping my parents build their house(yes, I did construction), working side by side with DH for several years and now raising his grand daughter which has been quite an experience in itself. I'm not getting younger. If I don't do something for myself that I want to do, I'll soon be too old and too crippled to. Quilting helps keep me sane. My DH is a wonderful man, he just still sees me as super human and able to do it all and I'm not. I don't have a problem doing some for pay but I want the freedom to do it my way, when I feel ready. I made my post because I knew there would be some great comments from people who have similar feelings, not to complain about my DH. He can't help that he doesn't get it.

  8. #33
    Senior Member ljsunflower's Avatar
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    Yeah, he can't help that he doesn't get it. He is a MAN, after all.
    And to whoever said he must be a kind & caring man - LOL! Sorry but he's my brother & I know him pretty well. He may be kind at times but a lot of times he's just a butt.
    Selena, don't try to justify it any more. Just do the quilts you want to do, make money when you want to. And tell him all these things about his boat & such that other folks have posted. Quilting is fun when you don't have customers wanting to tell you how to do it.
    Oh! I'll be sending you one soon. Probably at the end of next week. And I won't be "one of those" customers! LOL

  9. #34
    Super Member Grammy o'5's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaperPrincess
    I got my long arm by looking at the corvette in the garage. We can't drive it often because: it's raining. It's going to rain. it might rain. it rained last week etc.
    I told him that even if I quilted 5 quilts a year it would get used more that that car, and I wouldn't be paying for collision insurance to boot!
    EXACTLY! :-D :thumbup:

  10. #35
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    so, have you asked him these questions??
    perhaps if you did he would stop and think about it- and the problem would be solved.

  11. #36
    Super Member leatheflea's Avatar
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    The important thing is being overlooked. You got the longarm. I say jump in and start your business. I sent a quilt to a gal, I was her first customer. She told me in advance that she was new to the game. Showed me her quilts. And her prices. But for what she offered she did well, I'd use her again, she can only get better. I say put your name out there. If you wait till your are Quilt show worthy that could take years. And tell honey to get the boat out tonight because your gonna be quilting and he needs to catch supper to make that boat pay for itself. I'm lucky my honey brings home fish and whatever else HE wants to fry up. Good luck with your long arm business!

  12. #37
    Super Member Shelbie's Avatar
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    It's just a "guy" thing and they really just don't get it. My DH has many of the same ideas and it's my money that I'm spending. He thinks all of my stitching is a waste of time unless it is for him. If his coveralls need a zipper or a business associate has a new baby, he certainly doesn't hesitate to ask me to make a gift. He also doesn't understand my teaching. His first question is always "Well are they going to pay you?" Sometimes I do teach and get paid and sometimes it is voluntary but it bugs me that he always asks because it is my choice!

  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
    Tell him he needs to give people paid boat rides while you're quilting for hire LOL
    Good comeback. :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

  14. #39
    Senior Member plmsmith's Avatar
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    My hubby tells me I can have what we can afford as long as it doesn't creep into the man cave.

  15. #40
    Senior Member mosquitosewgirl's Avatar
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    No kidding....my husband has 8 fly rods costing anywhere from 250 to 800 each and when I got my Janome MC7700 for my 50th birthday, I had to sell my MC4900 to help pay for it. Not sure that's fair....

  16. #41
    Senior Member Jennie and Me's Avatar
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    Dexx, I love it that we have a man on here who is in the same boat as the majority of women.
    My husband supports my quilting habit to a certain degree, but he still likes it that I make a little money LAing for others.
    I honestly don't know why women feel that they have to justify their needs and wants, but we do. I think that it is an inbred trait that we need to get over. The older I get the more I am over it!! Hubby has so many tools that he never uses and that's fine...just don't gripe when I buy what I want.

  17. #42
    Super Member whinnytoo's Avatar
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    Ive asked my hubby why his airplanes dont pay for themselves, as well as his boat, his golf clubs, his computer games etc etc
    He has stopped asking me about my longarm LOL

  18. #43
    Senior Member Selena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mosquitosewgirl
    No kidding....my husband has 8 fly rods costing anywhere from 250 to 800 each and when I got my Janome MC7700 for my 50th birthday, I had to sell my MC4900 to help pay for it. Not sure that's fair....
    Didn't you know those are necessities? The rods I mean. LOL

  19. #44
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    You can have your toys without having to make money from them. Just buy them. When he wants to know how you will pay for them, just give him what my kids call 'the look of death'. That'll scare him away.

  20. #45
    Super Member Annaquilts's Avatar
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    I don't know. Let me know when you find out.

  21. #46
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    Give a man a boat and he'll sit in the sun and drink beer all day. Give a woman a LA and she'll earn money. Something's wrong somewhere. Give a woman a LA AND a beer and you solved the problem of how to FMQ! LOL

  22. #47
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    I have a long-arm and I don't intend to quilt for other people. I wanted it just for me. I figure it is no different that his woodworking tools that are in the garage.

  23. #48
    Super Member Mitch's mom's Avatar
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    My DH spends a MINIMUM of 500.00 a month on his hobbies. I don't even ask for his opinion about purchases for my hobby and I certainly won't be turning my hobby into a cash cow.

    I wouldn't confront him out of the blue and blindside him with your feelings. However, the next time he brings it up, say exactly what you told us. Tell him to think about what you've said while he is cooking dinner because you have to keep practicing your quilting.

  24. #49
    Super Member wuv2quilt's Avatar
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    You're preaching to the choir sister....although my hunny spoils me rotten...lol

  25. #50
    Super Member Flying_V_Goddess's Avatar
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    Why should you have to justify getting something that would help you with the hobby you love and enjoy doing?

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