catmcclure

As one who was adopted, I would suggest that you really, really think over your motives. I was adopted at the age of four by one couple and then, about six months later, I was "unadopted". I was immediately adopted by another couple and that adoption lasted until their deaths. However, up until shortly before her death my mother was still introducing me to everyone as "my adopted daughter." I was over 50 and, I've got to tell you; that, plus the 45 years of "you should be grateful we adopted you," was 50 years too much.

I am also not against foreign adoptions, but when you consider the number of children in this country who live in miserable situations and need help, why don't you consider one of them.

Also, this may be a disruption for your children that they will not tolerate easily. You might consider becoming a foster parent before you actually adopt. Having a strange child in your home on a temporary basis could alert you to what problems might arise if you adopt.

Plain Jane

I have five children by birth and one by adoption, All of my sister's children are adopted, one internationally and the others domestically. My cousins are adopted. We are a multi-racial family, I guess. Please PM me if you would like to know more.
International adoption is getting more and more difficult and more and more expensive. Having said that, there are still ways to do it. There are also many other ways to touch children. We support three children in Honduras through an organization that gives almost every penny to the kids. We have visited the school and seen how everything is handled. They live with their parents, who are extremely poor, but we pay for their education, one meal a day and their uniforms.
I'd be happy to talk to you if you have any questions.

debcavan

My friend has two beautiful, lovely young ladies from China. They don't seem to prefer girls there so it was relatively easy to adopt. But now a single Mom such as herself would not be able to unless she had adopted previously . Married couple-no problem

joyce888

I don't have any experience. But I do wish you the best of luck. Seems you already have the first requirement - a generous and big heart. Please let us know what happens.

Pzazz

A couple from my church adopted a 16 year old girl from Africa. There were a LOT of adjustments. After being here for about 2 years now, life is getting easier. Family life adjusted faster than school life. Because there are a lot of Sumalian refugees here, she was put in a class with these refugees. Most of them had no education before coming here, and, unfortunately, were looked down on by much of the American student body. A lot of bullying went on against this group. It got to a point that this young gal refused to go to school as she was grouped in with the refugee students, even tho' she had a very good education before coming here. The school would not transfer her into the mainstream school body!!! She has transferred to a different school and doing fine now.

I would think there would be much less adjustment for a younger child, as that age group generally seems to be much more accepting of differences.

If this is what you are meant to do, the way will be opened for you. Please keep us updated!!!!

Patti

ChubbyBunny

I wish you the very best if you decided to adopt. I have always wanted to adopt. Sadly, my husband does not share my heart for adoption. My dream was to adopt 2 daughters from China or Haiti. But I am 45 now and have 4 biological children. Short of a miracle, it will never happen. If you have love to share and resources to provide, I encourage you to pursue adoption. Pray about it and see where God leads you.

chickadeee55

I think it is great if you can open you heart and take in a child. Not everyone is able to do that. Just be prepared for the road ahead.

quilter1

Both of my boys grew 'not under my heart, but in it'. What more can I say except that if you do go ahead with this, the child or children must be considered as if you gave birth to them. Never have I thought that my boys were someone else's children. The many discussions we have had were around why and how they came into our family. International adoption is expensive and takes time. There are many considerations with this decision, including cultural differences.

Grandma Peg

Good luck to you and your family.

red-warrior

My nephew and his wife were told they would probably not be able to have any children. They signed up to be foster parents and got a 3 month boy old whose mother had a drug problem. About 3 weeks later the agency called and asked if they would take a 3day old boy, his mom had mental problems. They fell in love with both boys and proceeded to adopt both. Then the good Lord sent them a biological son to boot! The first two are like twins, althought one is blond haired with blue eyes and his brother has dark skin and dark curly hair. Would you believe they look like the adoptive parents. They have been a part of out family for 5 years now and a blessing. The one with a mentally ill mother is very bright and has no signs of mental problems. The one whose mom was on drugs is smaller and more average in school, but a lover and very happy.

The girl I work with adopted 2 girls 5 years apart from China- there was alot of hidden and last minute expenses and alot of hoops to jump
through. One daughter has some medical and psychiatric problems, but
is a good student . Hope this helps