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Watching out for Tender Feelings and yet Giving Advice

Watching out for Tender Feelings and yet Giving Advice

Old 03-29-2013, 11:31 AM
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Default Watching out for Tender Feelings and yet Giving Advice

I have been able to influence two young ladies to make a quilt each. One is a granddaughter and the other is my youngest DDIL. Both of them chose to quilt on the regular sewing machine, but they have done way less quilting than seems necessary to me. I mentioned to the mother of my GD that her quilt needing more to "hold it together" but she just made the statement, "It has enough."

Now what? I was the one to buy the fabric and batting for the granddaughter and I know the batting is cotton--Warm-n-Natural. Then the DDIL (a different son's wife) has just sent me photos of a double bed quilt with a panel she put blocks around and then a very wide border. She has only quilted around the panel and the small blocks around that. It looks nice, but I am concerned when it is washed, the batting will fall down inside.

Any suggestions about how to approach them without causing hard feelings? Any tutorials you know of that deal with that issue?
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:37 AM
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Tricky no idea not without sounding like ........
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:40 AM
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Don't know about relationships, but all of us can benefit from reading the manufacturers recommendations.
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:45 AM
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I agree with adamae. Maybe just ask them if they read on the batting package how close the stitching should be. At the same time of course admiring their beautiful quilt(s).
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:47 AM
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Compliment first, then ask what the manufacturers recommended for quilting, stating that different battings have different requirements and that you want her beautiful quilt to last forever.
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:56 AM
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I used to judge baked goods for 4H'ers. Some would be really awful, but I always concentrated on what was good about their product. For instance, for a dinner roll that was raw dough inside I would say "You did a beautiful job on judging the color that the rolls should be!" and for one that was burnt on the outside I would say "What a great job you did making sure that they were all the same size!"

I did once read an article on this topic. Apparently it's: Compliment - Critique - Compliment in that order.

You can use the same tactic here. "What a great job you did on choosing the colors! Did the batting manufacturer have information about how closely it should be quilted? I'd hate for it to get lumpy when you did such a great job on it."
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:22 PM
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We use a sandwich formula when talking with parents in the school setting. Compliment strengths, discuss weaknesses with specific ways to work on them, followed up with more complimentary information. Works well.
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:53 PM
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Could you compliment them, then after talking about the batting manufacturers recommendations , say would you mind if I show you something? ( I feel for you.) The thing is, it is their quilt and it might just be better to see what happens when it's washed and when they come to you asking why then you can explain.
It might be ok but this could be used as learning experience.
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:57 PM
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With the older one- why not complament her and then suggest that being she did such a great job she could add demension by stitching in the different areas.

With GD - Maybe just ask if you could give it some grandmother stitching. Add what you want and explain every stitch is contains love to last forever.
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:09 PM
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I suggest they make their own mistakes. My first quilt had very little quilting and after washing it I learned real fast. They put the time in the quilt, you have said your peace, the rest is up to them.
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