what would you do if your daughter came home and said you ex is getting married and ?
#201
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Just move back to Chattanooga, TN.
Posts: 2,022
I feel you can show her how too without making the quilt. It is more about showing your daughter not just quilting but that she counts more than keeping a grudge against your ex. You are above this.
#203
Junior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Western Washington
Posts: 154
I must be a nut case. I would think it was a real kick to think my ex and his wife were sleeping under a quilt I helped make. I would do it for that reason, but mostly because of my relationship with my daughter.
#204
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: in retirement
Posts: 1,513
I've been there,
and I offered guidance for my daughter, overseeing her work.
It's tough to separate your feelings, but I thought of it as just another learning lesson for my daughter and didn't associate it with whom the quilt was being made for.
I agree with Phannie, rise above the situation, take the high road.
Good luck with your decision.
It's tough to separate your feelings, but I thought of it as just another learning lesson for my daughter and didn't associate it with whom the quilt was being made for.
I agree with Phannie, rise above the situation, take the high road.
Good luck with your decision.
#205
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 382
Hmmm. If I liked him, I might help. If I hated his guts,er, not crazy about him, I would help my daughter with guidance but let her do the bulk of the work....If you really hated the new wife, contributing to the completion just might aggravate her no end to sleep under something you put your hands on....jus sayin.....
#206
I was once told that people resent the source of their guilt (read it again - it's powerful!)... if you let her know that you don't really want to do this, she may feel guilty for caring about him. In the end, the resentment falls on you, not him. I think it would really be difficult to do this, but I would most definitely help make the best treasure possible. Again, it's about your relationship with her, not him.
#207
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Port Charlotte, Fl
Posts: 2,569
I think you would be helping your daughter with a quilt try, not to think about who it's for she needs your help. I can imagine it would be difficult but just think of you & your dauughter learning to do a quilt. You will look great in her eyes and that's what really matters. Sue
#209
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 673
i agree with the "high road". when any of us have a real need, we turn to the ones we love and trust the most. your daughter knows she can trust you to help her do her best. she trusts in your love for her to overcome any feelings you may have about the marriage. she loves her dad--she can't help that. and no matter what may have happened between him and you, she is still the result of a love that existed at one time. she believes in that, and she believes in you.
you won't regret supporting her in her endeavor to do something good, and she will find her trust and love well placed.
you won't regret supporting her in her endeavor to do something good, and she will find her trust and love well placed.
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