Husbands...boyfrineds and such regarding quilting
09-22-2011, 06:27 AM
#191
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Georgia
Posts: 1,508
[quote=moonriseVerbal and mental abuse are (of course) wrong, but how is physically hurting someone okay? Your post said he had a "bad attitude". I'm sure that was very frustrating, but it doesn't sound like a situation of self defense (i.e. a gun being pointed at you).
[/quote]
Until ONE WALKS IN ANOTHERS SHOES we cannot presume to judge them or say what is or isn't. So don't judge until you have walked a mile in that other persons shoes. Than you can make judgements about a particular situation.
Self-defense doe not constitute ONLY having a gun held at your head or pointed at you. I see by a handful of responses here that some of you have no clue what constitutes abuse of any kind. ABUSE IS ABUSE in any form and what one deems the lesser of two evils is action that should be taken. In my situation taking a skillet to him was lesser of two evils that using his own service revolver to kill his butt. I did not feel he was worth my going to jail for the rest of my life.
LIKE I SAID unless you walk in another's shoes for a mile or so in there life you cannot presume to sit here and judge me.
Until you have lived the life of verbal or mental abuse yourself you cannot presume to judge another. That IMHO is just as devasting if not more at times than physical abuse.
One does not know what they would do in any situation until it happens so saying you can't see yourself doing something like this one day you will surprise at what you will do to protect yourself from any type of abuse.
[/quote]
Until ONE WALKS IN ANOTHERS SHOES we cannot presume to judge them or say what is or isn't. So don't judge until you have walked a mile in that other persons shoes. Than you can make judgements about a particular situation.
Self-defense doe not constitute ONLY having a gun held at your head or pointed at you. I see by a handful of responses here that some of you have no clue what constitutes abuse of any kind. ABUSE IS ABUSE in any form and what one deems the lesser of two evils is action that should be taken. In my situation taking a skillet to him was lesser of two evils that using his own service revolver to kill his butt. I did not feel he was worth my going to jail for the rest of my life.
LIKE I SAID unless you walk in another's shoes for a mile or so in there life you cannot presume to sit here and judge me.
Until you have lived the life of verbal or mental abuse yourself you cannot presume to judge another. That IMHO is just as devasting if not more at times than physical abuse.
One does not know what they would do in any situation until it happens so saying you can't see yourself doing something like this one day you will surprise at what you will do to protect yourself from any type of abuse.
09-22-2011, 06:54 AM
#192
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: League City, Texas
Posts: 504
I totally agree with you, I have been verbally abused, physically abused and I was sexually abused by a neighbor when I was a very little girl for a while. It is something you never forget and forgiving is very hard to do. I feel for anyon who has ever or is still going through this. I would just say GET OUT, you might not think you are strong enough, smart enough or any thing else they try and make you think but you can do it. If I could then anyone can and I would help anyone I possibly could. Talking about it is one thing, living it is quite another.
09-22-2011, 06:57 AM
#194
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 201
My husband is very supportive of my sewing, always has been supportive of what I do. Likewise he has his stuff. Not long ago we were traveling and went out of our way to a LQS. He browsed a few minutes, told me to take my time shopping. He loves to tease so he told the proprieter "dont sell her anything...22 yards later - he came back and I told him it was the other lady that technically rang my stuff up at the register. LOL
09-22-2011, 07:07 AM
#195
Power Poster
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Front row
Posts: 14,646
moonrise, all that it's not right to do this is a bunch of hooey when it comes to being abused. The right thing is for an abuser is to be put out of commission any way possible. I for one will never lose sleep over any abuser getting brain damage.
09-22-2011, 07:12 AM
#196
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: IL
Posts: 258
[quote=clsurz]
Until ONE WALKS IN ANOTHERS SHOES we cannot presume to judge them or say what is or isn't. So don't judge until you have walked a mile in that other persons shoes. Than you can make judgements about a particular situation.
Self-defense doe not constitute ONLY having a gun held at your head or pointed at you. I see by a handful of responses here that some of you have no clue what constitutes abuse of any kind. ABUSE IS ABUSE in any form and what one deems the lesser of two evils is action that should be taken. In my situation taking a skillet to him was lesser of two evils that using his own service revolver to kill his butt. I did not feel he was worth my going to jail for the rest of my life.
LIKE I SAID unless you walk in another's shoes for a mile or so in there life you cannot presume to sit here and judge me.
Until you have lived the life of verbal or mental abuse yourself you cannot presume to judge another. That IMHO is just as devasting if not more at times than physical abuse.
One does not know what they would do in any situation until it happens so saying you can't see yourself doing something like this one day you will surprise at what you will do to protect yourself from any type of abuse.
People who have never been abused don't understand. My first husband was mentally and verbally abusive and a few times physically. I always felt that no one would believe me because he was a prominent citizen in our community.
When I finally kicked him to the curb he came back with a gun and held me hostage with the gun pointed at my head. In front of 2 of my children.
Luckily it ended with no one being hurt but after his picture was on the front page of the paper I didn't have to be concerned with who would or wouldn't believe me.
I am now married to a wonderful man who is supportive of everything that I do and encourages me in everything.
For those of you who have always been lucky enough to have a supportive husband don't judge those who have been abused. It can happen to anyone.
Originally Posted by moonriseVerbal and mental abuse are (of course) wrong, but how is physically hurting someone okay? Your post said he had a "bad attitude". I'm sure that was very frustrating, but it doesn't sound like a situation of self defense (i.e. a gun being pointed at you).
[/quote
[/quote
Until ONE WALKS IN ANOTHERS SHOES we cannot presume to judge them or say what is or isn't. So don't judge until you have walked a mile in that other persons shoes. Than you can make judgements about a particular situation.
Self-defense doe not constitute ONLY having a gun held at your head or pointed at you. I see by a handful of responses here that some of you have no clue what constitutes abuse of any kind. ABUSE IS ABUSE in any form and what one deems the lesser of two evils is action that should be taken. In my situation taking a skillet to him was lesser of two evils that using his own service revolver to kill his butt. I did not feel he was worth my going to jail for the rest of my life.
LIKE I SAID unless you walk in another's shoes for a mile or so in there life you cannot presume to sit here and judge me.
Until you have lived the life of verbal or mental abuse yourself you cannot presume to judge another. That IMHO is just as devasting if not more at times than physical abuse.
One does not know what they would do in any situation until it happens so saying you can't see yourself doing something like this one day you will surprise at what you will do to protect yourself from any type of abuse.
When I finally kicked him to the curb he came back with a gun and held me hostage with the gun pointed at my head. In front of 2 of my children.
Luckily it ended with no one being hurt but after his picture was on the front page of the paper I didn't have to be concerned with who would or wouldn't believe me.
I am now married to a wonderful man who is supportive of everything that I do and encourages me in everything.
For those of you who have always been lucky enough to have a supportive husband don't judge those who have been abused. It can happen to anyone.
09-22-2011, 10:04 AM
#197
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,341
[quote=rndelling]
Until ONE WALKS IN ANOTHERS SHOES we cannot presume to judge them or say what is or isn't. So don't judge until you have walked a mile in that other persons shoes. Than you can make judgements about a particular situation.
Self-defense doe not constitute ONLY having a gun held at your head or pointed at you. I see by a handful of responses here that some of you have no clue what constitutes abuse of any kind. ABUSE IS ABUSE in any form and what one deems the lesser of two evils is action that should be taken. In my situation taking a skillet to him was lesser of two evils that using his own service revolver to kill his butt. I did not feel he was worth my going to jail for the rest of my life.
LIKE I SAID unless you walk in another's shoes for a mile or so in there life you cannot presume to sit here and judge me.
Until you have lived the life of verbal or mental abuse yourself you cannot presume to judge another. That IMHO is just as devasting if not more at times than physical abuse.
One does not know what they would do in any situation until it happens so saying you can't see yourself doing something like this one day you will surprise at what you will do to protect yourself from any type of abuse.
People who have never been abused don't understand. My first husband was mentally and verbally abusive and a few times physically. I always felt that no one would believe me because he was a prominent citizen in our community.
When I finally kicked him to the curb he came back with a gun and held me hostage with the gun pointed at my head. In front of 2 of my children.
Luckily it ended with no one being hurt but after his picture was on the front page of the paper I didn't have to be concerned with who would or wouldn't believe me.
I am now married to a wonderful man who is supportive of everything that I do and encourages me in everything.
For those of you who have always been lucky enough to have a supportive husband don't judge those who have been abused. It can happen to anyone.
I guess I can judge then since "been there done that". I ended up sending mine to prison. And I do mean prison not jail. I still TOTALLY agree with Moonrise and as she said unless you are being physically threatened a fry pan on the head is wrong (and could have killed). Words hurt mentally longer than most physical wounds but don't tell me a fry pan on the head is defense against verbal abuse! No one needs to put up with abuse or should. Walk away and leave their sorry excuse behind. If you're being physically threatened, by all means, grab whatever you can to defend yourself and get out.
Originally Posted by clsurz
Originally Posted by moonriseVerbal and mental abuse are (of course) wrong, but how is physically hurting someone okay? Your post said he had a "bad attitude". I'm sure that was very frustrating, but it doesn't sound like a situation of self defense (i.e. a gun being pointed at you).
[/quote
[/quote
Until ONE WALKS IN ANOTHERS SHOES we cannot presume to judge them or say what is or isn't. So don't judge until you have walked a mile in that other persons shoes. Than you can make judgements about a particular situation.
Self-defense doe not constitute ONLY having a gun held at your head or pointed at you. I see by a handful of responses here that some of you have no clue what constitutes abuse of any kind. ABUSE IS ABUSE in any form and what one deems the lesser of two evils is action that should be taken. In my situation taking a skillet to him was lesser of two evils that using his own service revolver to kill his butt. I did not feel he was worth my going to jail for the rest of my life.
LIKE I SAID unless you walk in another's shoes for a mile or so in there life you cannot presume to sit here and judge me.
Until you have lived the life of verbal or mental abuse yourself you cannot presume to judge another. That IMHO is just as devasting if not more at times than physical abuse.
One does not know what they would do in any situation until it happens so saying you can't see yourself doing something like this one day you will surprise at what you will do to protect yourself from any type of abuse.
When I finally kicked him to the curb he came back with a gun and held me hostage with the gun pointed at my head. In front of 2 of my children.
Luckily it ended with no one being hurt but after his picture was on the front page of the paper I didn't have to be concerned with who would or wouldn't believe me.
I am now married to a wonderful man who is supportive of everything that I do and encourages me in everything.
For those of you who have always been lucky enough to have a supportive husband don't judge those who have been abused. It can happen to anyone.
09-22-2011, 12:13 PM
#198
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: N.W. Missouri
Posts: 858
My very best friend was both mentally and physically abused by her husband for 40+ years. ( She is no longer living) You have to understand that some women feel that they don't deserve any better. And then when you finally get through to them that they are so much more better than that...then they feel that they are to old to start life over, etc., etc. Because of physical conditions, she could never have children and had a lot of illnesses. When her husband drank(which was every night)he would blame her for not having children, thus putting her self-esteem down even further. Her father was a drunk, her husband was a drunk and the cycle was there. You seriously do not and cannot say what you would do unless you walk the walk. I loved her so much(we had been friends since grade school) but all I could do was listen and be her sounding board. I'll miss her forever, but I wouldn't wish her back into her horrible life. I have to feel that she is in a much better place.
09-22-2011, 01:10 PM
#199
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 792
Folks, might I say we seem to be losing the big picture here. The point is not that all abused folks are packing a fry pan; the point is defend yurself when you need to. How do yu walk past a man twice your size who forbids you to leave? if they were reasonable or rational they would not be abusing you to start with. As to that I have rarely encountered a situation where verbal abuse or mental abuse was all that went on. When any one is threatened and pushed long enough or hard enough you just break loose and use what ever equalizer yu can get to. I hope and pray no one ever has to find themselves in such a situation but as I have already stated IT DOES HAPPEN, somewhere , all the time. Please, dont judge what you dont know.
09-22-2011, 03:03 PM
#200
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Boise, ID
Posts: 430
My husband is very supportive of my hobbies. In fact, he purchased my last 2 sewing machines as gifts and built a quilt frame for one of them. Whenever he teases me about the number of sewing machines I have, I remind him it pales in comparison to the number of his toys. We have separate incomes, separate finances, mutual respect and consideration.
That said, however, one of his nicknames for me is "The War Department."
That said, however, one of his nicknames for me is "The War Department."
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
