Sad, but .........
09-14-2011, 02:00 PM
#101
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,925
Were you making 2 quilts the same for the twins? If so, I'd go ahead and give Mom both. I'd make a nice label acknowledging the precious little one who died. that way, mom can always have a keepsake and know people haven't forgotten him/her.
HTH,
HTH,
09-14-2011, 03:25 PM
#103
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: SC
Posts: 1,909
Originally Posted by sweetana3
I would make sure there was a wonderful rainbow and one dove flying. I agree with the others to go with your feelings and knowledge of the mother. It does not need to be a surprise.
09-14-2011, 03:27 PM
#104
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 150
I have lost a daughter and my advise is give the wallhanging and mention the one lost. She will never be forgotten by her parents and hopefully the rest of the family will always remember she did exist.
I had two daughters and would never answer one when asked how many children do you have. Not a day goes by that I do not think of my lovely 18 year old that died in an automobile accident.
I had two daughters and would never answer one when asked how many children do you have. Not a day goes by that I do not think of my lovely 18 year old that died in an automobile accident.
09-14-2011, 04:24 PM
#106
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: California
Posts: 702
I would make a simple blanket for the child that passed to be wrapped in for burial. Then after a little time passes present the family with the Noah's Ark quilt ... it will be a wonderful gift for the family. The children are twins and will always be twins even if they don't grow up together.
09-14-2011, 05:44 PM
#107
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 83
Originally Posted by lindasidlow
Probably something else. On the other hand, 2 did come! You just cant predict how the mom will take either one. She could be sad OR mad that you left the other one out. Maybe wait awhile and see how she deals with the situation.
09-14-2011, 07:01 PM
#108
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: College Station, Texas
Posts: 822
Originally Posted by AFQSinc
I would still make it. I have a friend that lost one of her twins (they were born at 27 weeks) and she said that the thing that hurt the most was that people didn't acknowledge the baby that died. She believed that they were doing it because they didn't want to cause her additional pain or upset. The fact of the matter is that the other baby did exist and is loved as much as the one that survived.
09-14-2011, 07:09 PM
#109
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Some where in way out West Texas
Posts: 3,041
Originally Posted by RenaB
I would get it straight from the one that matters the most, the mother. Tell her exactly what you told us and tell her u want to respect her wishes.
I think she woukd appreciate and respect that u cared enough to ask.
If it was me, personally, I would want the memory of the twin that was lost to continue. The twin that lived will want to remember the memory of the brother that once shared a bond with him.
I think she woukd appreciate and respect that u cared enough to ask.
If it was me, personally, I would want the memory of the twin that was lost to continue. The twin that lived will want to remember the memory of the brother that once shared a bond with him.
I think you might want to make a separate quilt for the surviving twin, and make the wall hanging later according to the parents' wishes.
09-14-2011, 07:46 PM
#110
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Portland, OR via Hawaii
Posts: 1,342
I wouldn't tell her what you original intent was...but instead talk to her and listen to what she says. I personally wouldn't give the original ....yet...maybe sometime in the future - years maybe - it will be accepted.
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