Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Page 1 of 6 1 2 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 52

Thread: UGH! My child's friend

  1. #1
    Super Member kristen0112's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Salem, Oregon
    Posts
    2,442
    Just have to vent my son Peter has his friend over to play they are both 11 years old. This other boy is - difficult? He isn't respectful to adults, when I tell him not to do something he rolls his eyes at me. If he were my child he'd be in so much trouble for doing that to me or anyone else. He back talks to adults and others, tries to shift blame when he's been caught doing something...the list goes on. I know you're thinking send the child home and don't let him influence your kid right? Peter has trouble making and keeping friendships. He plays with kids at school but doesn't really attach and become best friends. So, I worry...
    I invited his parents out boating with us a couple of weekends ago it was an eye opener. He's an only child and the parents seem to not parent him but 'encourage' him to make the right choices. The mom is REALLY into her two dogs which she brought with them boating. She talks to them lovingly and affectionately like children, it seemed that their well being and needs really came first before husband and child. It was interesting. They were almost 2 hours late because the mom kept forgetting stuff at home, first the tie downs for the dogs, then whether she locked the doors to the house. So, I kind of get why the boy is the way he is... Okay I am done venting he's only here for a few hours I can handle it :-\

  2. #2
    Super Member Shemjo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    St. Louis, Missouri
    Posts
    6,937
    Oh my, the poor child! Thanks for trying to do the right thing by all concerned. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I will pray that friends and good nurturing stable families can give the child a better picture of how things can be.

  3. #3
    Power Poster erstan947's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    12,082
    Blog Entries
    47
    Your home may be the only place that he can feel safe and get attention.

  4. #4
    Super Member Charlee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    PNW (I wish it was the Ozarks!)
    Posts
    6,510
    Blog Entries
    6
    My kids had friends with parents that were "less than ideal" to put it nicely. (One had a mother that would tell him to "Go to the store and get me a pack of ciggarettes...DON'T get caught!!" )

    I treated these kids like they were my own. They rolled their eyes at something I said, they got in trouble. I gave them a time to "be home" just like my own kids, and when they were late, they got grounded like my own kids. They ate dinner with us? They helped clean up. They mouthed off? They got to spend an hour weeding the garden. They always did what I told them, they knew the alternative was to not be able to come over again...

  5. #5
    Super Member amandasgramma's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    La Pine Oregon, USA
    Posts
    5,825
    The best thing you can do for that child is exactly what Charlee says.....I had kids like that at my home, too, and treated them just like my own. They're still friends and seemed to appreciate it. They also knew I loved them as my own....something they weren't getting at home.

  6. #6
    Super Member CoyoteQuilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    2,306
    There are times when I wonder how some kids even manage to grow up to be adults. They raise themselves and get there some how.

    Good luck on helping this young man grow up. It may not seem as though you are getting through, but you will.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Paige, Texas
    Posts
    1,116
    Quote Originally Posted by Charlee
    My kids had friends with parents that were "less than ideal" to put it nicely. (One had a mother that would tell him to "Go to the store and get me a pack of ciggarettes...DON'T get caught!!" )

    I treated these kids like they were my own. They rolled their eyes at something I said, they got in trouble. I gave them a time to "be home" just like my own kids, and when they were late, they got grounded like my own kids. They ate dinner with us? They helped clean up. They mouthed off? They got to spend an hour weeding the garden. They always did what I told them, they knew the alternative was to not be able to come over again...
    I agree with Charlee . When I have other people kids in my home they will do what my grand kids do. They will help where it is needed or they aren't welcome back.
    Alot of time these days its the kids friends parents that help raise these kids that have parents where the dogs get more love then the kids do.
    Give the kids a little love and they will love you until they die. and they will remeber who it was that loved them. Give them cookie and had them weeding the flower beds.
    Good luck with the kido

  8. #8
    Super Member dakotamaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    South central Nebraska, US
    Posts
    5,425
    When I had day care kids, or my children s' friends over the parents and kids understood "My house, MY rules!!!!" My rules were strict (some said too strict!) but loving!! RESPECT was taught here along with love.

  9. #9
    Ms. Shawn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Madison Heights, VA
    Posts
    1,349
    Quote Originally Posted by kristen0112
    Just have to vent my son Peter has his friend over to play they are both 11 years old. This other boy is - difficult? He isn't respectful to adults, when I tell him not to do something he rolls his eyes at me. If he were my child he'd be in so much trouble for doing that to me or anyone else. He back talks to adults and others, tries to shift blame when he's been caught doing something...the list goes on. I know you're thinking send the child home and don't let him influence your kid right? Peter has trouble making and keeping friendships. He plays with kids at school but doesn't really attach and become best friends. So, I worry...
    I invited his parents out boating with us a couple of weekends ago it was an eye opener. He's an only child and the parents seem to not parent him but 'encourage' him to make the right choices. The mom is REALLY into her two dogs which she brought with them boating. She talks to them lovingly and affectionately like children, it seemed that their well being and needs really came first before husband and child. It was interesting. They were almost 2 hours late because the mom kept forgetting stuff at home, first the tie downs for the dogs, then whether she locked the doors to the house. So, I kind of get why the boy is the way he is... Okay I am done venting he's only here for a few hours I can handle it :-\
    I really feel for you as I have been there and done that 3x's over and now sometimes with any new friends that my 15 yr old daughter brings home. I treat all children as I do my own and will not put up with disrespect! But sometimes know matter how caring you are or what you do it will not change things. I suggest letting the other child know your rules and what you expect at your house! Just trying to help. Ms. Shawn :mrgreen: :thumbup: :XD:

  10. #10
    Ms. Shawn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Madison Heights, VA
    Posts
    1,349
    Quote Originally Posted by Charlee
    My kids had friends with parents that were "less than ideal" to put it nicely. (One had a mother that would tell him to "Go to the store and get me a pack of ciggarettes...DON'T get caught!!" )

    I treated these kids like they were my own. They rolled their eyes at something I said, they got in trouble. I gave them a time to "be home" just like my own kids, and when they were late, they got grounded like my own kids. They ate dinner with us? They helped clean up. They mouthed off? They got to spend an hour weeding the garden. They always did what I told them, they knew the alternative was to not be able to come over again...
    Way to go! I agree with you! :XD:

Page 1 of 6 1 2 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.