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Thread: Watching out for Tender Feelings and yet Giving Advice

  1. #31
    Senior Member qwkslver's Avatar
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    You told them. If you say any more you become a know-it-all or a nag. I would let it go. Live and learn. I'm one of those that didn't take criticism well. I learned a lot by my mistakes. Just my 2 cents. Bless you, you are in a difficult situation. I know it breaks your heart. Sometimes you can't help someone who don't want help.

  2. #32
    Super Member Mitch's mom's Avatar
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    I would take the blame: " Your quilt is just darling and I love it! I made a mistake when I bought the batting. I meant to get you one that had to be quilted farther apart. Because of my mistake when you wash it I'm afraid the batting will clump. It can easily be fixed by putting some quilting on the borders. The quilt is so pretty I will feel awful if it ruins in the wash. Would you like me to help you correct it?

  3. #33
    Junior Member
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    It is their quilts. As soon as you gave her. The fabric, it became their quilts. They will learn by their mIstakes, just like you and I did. Let them learn, love them enough to let them do their quilts. Love them even more when it falls apart, help them fix and NOT say, "I knew this was going to happen!"

  4. #34
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    Agree with MarLeClair. Sometimes they have to learn from their own mistakes. They have seen quilts with more quilting and for whatever reason, have chosen not to put more in theirs. They will learn what happens with that and you will not be the bad guy. Admire what they have done and encourage another project. They will read and learn along the way.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Weezy Rider's Avatar
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    If you do suggest, suggest the quickest, dirtiest way to do it. They might think that quilting involves a lot of STID or FMQ which they don't want to deal with. If it's just straight lines, it will serve the purpose. Might not be up to your standards, but --

    The first stuff I made, all I wanted to do was get done! Even now, I'm not a fan of all over quilting. Straight line and single templates do just fine.

  6. #36
    Super Member cabbagepatchkid's Avatar
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    Even if it does bunch up after washing, all is not lost....it will be the perfect time to teach your DGD how to use a seam ripper. It won't be that hard to separate the 3 layers, add new batting, and quilt it properly.

    Maybe she likes the idea of a poofy quilt so you could use a different type of batting and she could 'tie' the quilt, instead.

  7. #37
    Super Member quiltmom04's Avatar
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    If you have them advise and they didn't take it, then let the consequences be theirs, as much as it bothers you. Some times the only way some people will learn is to have it go wrong. After all - it's called a "learning curve", not a "do what somebody else says " curve!

  8. #38
    Senior Member
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    As a retired teacher. I like Hopetoquilt's formula.

  9. #39
    Super Member
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    I agree with MarLeClair. Let them come to you. If you see them frequently, they will quickly notice the difference and seek your advice. You may want to mention to them about joining the Quilting Board. They will soon learn from others and probably ask for your assistance. Maybe you could have your own little quiting bee, if you live close enough or when you visit. Would love to be able to spend that kind of time with my GDs.

  10. #40
    Junior Member
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    I use the same technique as Artsyone - learned while I was working with reluctant readers. Two stars (two compliments on anything they did -- no matter how small) and a wish. Next time I hope you'll pay attention to -- try to - take time to etc. Little kiddos would beam at the compliments and try their darndest to improve their weak spots. They were also paranoid about making mistakes and I was constantly pointing out that I liked it when they made mistakes because then I knew they were making adjustments and really learning. Repeating what you already learned is satisfying but it is not making adjustments and learning. Sounds a lot like what goes on in the quilt rooms across America, doesn't it?

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