what would you do if your daughter came home and said you ex is getting married and ?
11-27-2011, 07:42 AM
#112
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Chaska MN
Posts: 353
I can remember years ago when my youngest daughter came and asked to borrow money for a ticket to fly to Texas for her dad's wedding. I said no. I would probably have to say the same for the quilt. At that time it was too painful for me to send her off to my ex's wedding. Maybe it is the same with you. I think a wedding quilt is such a special thing that I would have a hard time making it for a couple in that circumstance. I would hope I could be a better person and help out my daughter, but I know I probably wouldn't be. Tell her to make it on her own, if she has questions you could answer them, and I am sure she will be fine and her dad will be pleased with the quilt.
11-27-2011, 07:45 AM
#113
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Duluth/ Superior, WI
Posts: 1,038
Take the high road and help her. Both my DH and I have exs and refuse to allow the children (all married now with children) to be pawns. I would help any friend or other family member with a quilt (if they asked) so would cherish the time spent working with my DD. Once you gift something to someone, it is no longer yours and what they choose to do with it is on their shoulders. Quilts have healing powers...some for the makers and givers, and some for the receivers.
11-27-2011, 07:47 AM
#114
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 811
Originally Posted by frauhahn
The best thing to do would be to help her-but make her do most of it herself. You'll look like a really great person in her eyes. And-you're doing it for her, not for him. I imagine it's hard to be put in this position, though.
11-27-2011, 07:57 AM
#116
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 2,957
Originally Posted by angelaz
I agree, I would suggest you help her and treasure the time you get to spend teaching her something you love so much. No matter what your relationship is with your ex, he is still her daddy and she loves him. You did something right to allow her to hold onto that.
11-27-2011, 08:22 AM
#118
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: My Sewing Room
Posts: 1,180
Obviously, your daughter sees you as a generous, loving person, as it didn't occur to her that it might be difficult for you make a quilt for your ex's wedding. I think I'd let the daughter make the quilt herself, with guidance only, from you.
11-27-2011, 08:26 AM
#119
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,130
Been there, done that. As with anything that concerns my ex with my daughter, I look at it as doing it for my daughter. I love making her happy and her being able to do something for him makes her happy. Yes, he is a jerk, this is why he is my ex but he is still her father that she loves dearly and I love her so I do things for her, not him.
I go as far as purchasing holiday gifts for their whole family with her name as the from. She has been through enough with our divorce and needs to see that no matter what our differences, people can still get along. Perhaps if the world would do this, then there were be no wars.
In the end, you have to do whatever you are comfortable with but this is what I would have and have done.
I go as far as purchasing holiday gifts for their whole family with her name as the from. She has been through enough with our divorce and needs to see that no matter what our differences, people can still get along. Perhaps if the world would do this, then there were be no wars.
In the end, you have to do whatever you are comfortable with but this is what I would have and have done.
11-27-2011, 08:32 AM
#120
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,081
My son's step-mom asked me if I would make a quilt for her out of her mothers fabric (her mother passed away and had a bunch of lighthouse fabric), so I made her a full size quilt. Then a week after I gave it to her she called and asked if I could make a queen size for her brother out of the fabric too. Believe it or not, i SAID YES. I would never use the fabric as I don't care for the print of it. Am almost done with it and have used all of the 30 yds of it. We all get along fine and it makes it much better on my son because of it.
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