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what would you do if your daughter came home and said you ex is getting married and ?

what would you do if your daughter came home and said you ex is getting married and ?

Old 11-27-2011, 10:26 AM
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Wow, what a tough spot you've been put in. One thing I don't recall seeing, is exactly how old is your daughter? Is she old enough to understand if you didn't have a "nice" divorce this may really be causing you some discomfort.

I don't know if I could do what you're being asked but I think for my daughters sake I would give it a try. Prehaps you can just advise her on picking the fabrics, pattern and even show her the proper way to sew it but let her know you are there to share your knowledge but that is as involved as you will be in making the quilt. At least she asked you to help her make it, not to actually make it for them. You will at least have all this wonderful and quality time to spend with your daughter as well as being able to share with her you love of quilting.
My son still does stuff with his ex and her new husband for his sons sake. He is much more forgiving than I am. The ex cheated with the new husband while they were married and he was my sons best friend. My son said for his son he will swallow his pride to make things friendly so his son is not caught in the middle.

Last edited by valsma; 11-27-2011 at 10:36 AM.
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Old 11-27-2011, 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted by GwynR View Post
I agree 100%!!! Good job!
I also agree with this. Putting the past in the past and moving forward is a great healing experience. Enjoy and encourage your daughter in this endeavor, she will love you even more for it. The quilt is a gift from her to her father and she needs your help. I know it will be beautiful.
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Old 11-27-2011, 10:47 AM
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Consider it a bonding experience between you and your daughter! (The EX is still her father and she loves you both.)
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Old 11-27-2011, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted by ogama View Post
The rest of the story............ i have a great daughter and if that is what she want she can count on me to help her or i would even do it for her.lol my ex and i are on good terms. not sure what the new one is like but that i not my problem. lol. it is his third marriage and only wish him well. i got the best in my three daughter and found a super husband now. we have been married for 10 years now. he is the one that bought me the 6500 jenome. so i have no complaints. i laughed and cryed over some of the post here. but i read everyone of them. i do know that if i want a good answer to anything i come to all of my friends here and they will tell me the truth. thanks for all of the post. love and blessings to all ogama
This is great to hear. I didn't have any advice, but I've been wondering what you were going to do. Be sure to post pics!
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Old 11-27-2011, 11:20 AM
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Leave a few pins in it (JUST KIDDING) lol
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Old 11-27-2011, 11:37 AM
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Originally Posted by GmaJane View Post
Boy, I bet they will REALLY enjoy sleeping under that. Make a lovely one and enjoy y our loving daughter.
Too funny!

If I helped my daughter a lot then I would also put my name on the label ... or not. Just doing some wild thinking here.

Actually, I'd help her as much as I feel I could and encourage her to do most of it herself. I'd also take a lot of pictures of both of us working together as a reminder of our time together, lest it be forgotten. I might even make her a version of the quilt in a different color way just for her. and ,,, if I really liked the pattern one for me too??

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Old 11-27-2011, 11:41 AM
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Make the quilt but hide lots of pins in the batting. (And I mean lots.)
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Old 11-27-2011, 11:42 AM
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When your x is truly your x ...you are only helping your daughter make a quilt for her father and that is a good thing!!
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Old 11-27-2011, 11:43 AM
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Originally Posted by walkswithwolves View Post
I would help her. Because it didn't work out between your X and you should not, cause problems between you and your daughter. So hold your head high and say to yourself I can do this.
I agree. He will always be her dad! Is would be so good for her and your relationship if u did this!
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Old 11-27-2011, 11:58 AM
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Even though I am surprised your daughter feels she should gift him on his 3rd wedding -- I'm for helping your daughter out! YOU are the fortunate one here - done with him, 3 great daughters, and a loving husband who even appreciates sewing! Unfortunately I have an ex and went thru a mean and nasty divorce after 20 years marriage.. Fortunately, that is in the past and my significant other AND I are very good friends with him??!!? God forgives me and this was probably the biggest challenge or lesson that I ever had!! I didn't read all the posts but sure do admire valsma's son!! She has to be proud she had a part of his rearing! Only if more parents thought of their kids more than themselves!! But this should be a decision you can live with!
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