what would you do if your daughter came home and said you ex is getting married and ?
11-26-2011, 12:53 PM
#31
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: TN
Posts: 1,443
I say help her. You and your ex must have, at one time, found some common ground between you since you have a daughter together. I would, however, make sure she understands the cost involved and that your stash is off limits. She will have to buy all the materials. I believe once you work up the total cost of the materials she'll decide on another gift.
11-26-2011, 12:57 PM
#32
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: In the Hills of Arkansas
Posts: 398
I would say no way. If she wants to give hime something to cherish then she needs to do something she knows how to do. If she still insisted on a quilt then I would give advice only, no actual work.
11-26-2011, 01:20 PM
#35
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lived in San Diego now retired in Eagar, AZ.
Posts: 887
My sons get recommendations from me every few years when i see something i know their dad (my ex) would like. I do it for them, not for him...I do it to try to teach them to think about what the other person would like...if they listen and choose to follow my suggestions, fine, if they don't, that's okay, too. It doesn't happen often, just when I see a new tool or accessory or some little thing that I think they may not have seen...as the years have gone on, they usually have already noticed so it doesn't come up very often now...
the fact that your daughter has given this kind of thought to a wedding gift is due to the thoughtfulness and hard work you have demonstrated when faced with these situations. Find a pattern that is simple enough to be fast and that she can do most of it, and let the color be everything... send it out to be stippled in the biggest one possible...offer to pay for batting and backing if she covers the cost of the quilting....she needs to know what kind of cost is involved and to feel like the gift is really from her. When I mention cost, of course I am assuming that she is a teen, at least... if she is younger than that, then help her make a wallhanging...
okay, now if all of this doesn't sound like you can live with it, put her picture (or a pic of her and her dad) right in the middle of it and let the new stepmother live with that over the couch or on the wall.....she won't dare hide it...first in time, first in line...
the fact that your daughter has given this kind of thought to a wedding gift is due to the thoughtfulness and hard work you have demonstrated when faced with these situations. Find a pattern that is simple enough to be fast and that she can do most of it, and let the color be everything... send it out to be stippled in the biggest one possible...offer to pay for batting and backing if she covers the cost of the quilting....she needs to know what kind of cost is involved and to feel like the gift is really from her. When I mention cost, of course I am assuming that she is a teen, at least... if she is younger than that, then help her make a wallhanging...
okay, now if all of this doesn't sound like you can live with it, put her picture (or a pic of her and her dad) right in the middle of it and let the new stepmother live with that over the couch or on the wall.....she won't dare hide it...first in time, first in line...
Anything she made would be much better than anything I could help her with.
11-26-2011, 01:22 PM
#37
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Western MA
Posts: 2,720
Originally Posted by frauhahn
The best thing to do would be to help her-but make her do most of it herself. You'll look like a really great person in her eyes. And-you're doing it for her, not for him. I imagine it's hard to be put in this position, though.
11-26-2011, 02:33 PM
#40
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 869
Originally Posted by ckcowl
i would help her- it is her father- and she certainly has the right to make him something special if that's what she wants- it really has nothing to do with you- other than her need with some quilting assistance/guidance- think of it as a project you are helping your daughter with---what she does with it when she is finished is up to her.
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