ilovequilts

Just remember, when things are at their worst, they can only get better from there :) I am also a super positive person and when I am down I get so frustrated and the littlest thing can just BAM blow up! We are allowed to have bad days, I just always try to wake up the next day happier than the day before :) Keep your chin up, everything will get better

zz-pd

I have three sisters and a brother, I call all of them on there birthdays, but have never gotten a call on mine. I don't let it hurt me any more. I will still call them. Your children will need to work this out on there own. go to the wedding, your son was hurt so only time will heal, he knows how this hurts you but he is also hurt. yes you do have deppresion. I have had it forever, please go to your Doctor, take walks in the sun while its there, or just sit out in it. but you done all you can, so now just do something for you. If you need to talk, pm me. you are in my prayers. Penny Doty

Debra Mc

Thanks, after I posted it, it occured to me it was the serenity prayer. About 1 year ago the menopause really bit me bad. I would cry if a bug hit my window. Had the same felings as you do but it too passed. Befoe you go to antidrepressants try Black Cohash Complex. They sell it at Walmart. Two pills a day-1 daytime, 1 nitetime. Has done wonders for me. I call antidrepressants antibitch pills because they just let people run all over me. Not that they haven't helped other people because some couldn't have made it with out my sister included. Try this 1st. Hugs Deb

quiltincharlotte

Perfectly said! I agree. We all send ou our love - and lots of BIG HUGS!!

ForestHobbit

I have suffered from depression and been on medication for many years. It sounds like our symptoms are very much alike. It may be an isolated event or a continuing problem. Whining is GOOD. It means you are in touch with your feelings are letting others know that you need their support. All families have these ups and downs that are so very painful. We have had some very serious situations in our family that were devastating. Through out these painful times the lesson learned is that I must follow my own path and understand the consequences. And that means living with my decisions. When I finally learned to let go of trying to make things right for others and began doing what was right for me, life became so much more managable(sp) No it was not easy or without pain. But it was right. Lastly my Dr. suggested that I find ONE thing to do each day. Brush your teeth, wash your face, dust. That one accomplishment can feel like you just won first place. And most important . . . know that you have a place here to go in the worst of times where people want to help you feel better. Feel free to pm me if you just need someone to listen to you or vent. God bless you.
Judy

Nancy in Louisiana

I think we all "hit a wall" when we near our 50's -- whether it's the onset of menopause, changes in hormones, empty nest syndrome, mid-life crisis, S.A.D.S. (the lack-of-sunlite syndrome). For some reason everything seems to come to a head at the same time, and you can't help being overwhelmed. All above advise is good - especially figure out those things you can't control and force yourself to go with the flow. Families unfortunately don't behave like the Cleavers, Nelsons, or Father-Knows-Best. The best thing I ever did for myself is walk away from my sister, for once and for all. You can't pick your family, and you really don't need to feel guilty if you don't like them. Your mental health is worth a lot more to you than their's, so why give them the satisfaction of knowing they are getting to you. If she needed me, she can call and I will be there because she is my sister. But I doubt she'll call and I don't care. She made her own life and own decisions, and I refuse to take on any flack. So I walked away, and when I finally let go, it felt like a million pounds taken off my heart. Your kids -- that's between them. They are grownups now, let them fight it out on their own. It doesn't help to take sides or try to referee them -- they need to work it out. Who's going to step in when youre gone? And, maybe they just don't like each other and are better off not forced to be together. Nothing you say or do is going to change their mind, it'll just make things worse. I have NEVER known of a family in perfect harmony -- and if you think you know of one, they are just good at hiding it. Your business is one of those out-of-your-control things. Most businesses are hurting bigtime in bigtime ways (Lyondell Chemical Co. completely shutting down plants, Toyota trying to deal with all their legal woes). Times are changing, politically, economically, and socially. As much as we want to dig in our heels and pull back, doesn't do any good. Have to go with the flow regardless. Just take comfort in knowing you're doing your best and lots of other poeple are in the same situation. And as for your house -- I used to keep a spotless house and even got a tad bit obsessive when the kids were growing up. Now that I'm home with retired husband and four house dogs, the place is dusty, furry, and spotted. But I finally realized life is short -- if it's between cleaning and spending time with a friend or family member, I sure don't worry about cleaning. I try to keep it clean enough to keep the board of health away. When the sun tries to shine through my dirty windows, it take that as a sign to be outside.

In short, you're not alone -- we all have gone through it. Give yourself some slack -- let others deal with their own situations, and DON'T LET YOURSELF FEEL GUILTY OR RESPONSIBLE. Go outside and scream, throw something, yell a cuss word or two -- that'll help. Birthdays are just another day to everyone else but you -- Now that I'm approaching 60, I don't think I'll remember my own, either. Your kids are grown up -- your job is done. They are what they are - enjoy their good parts and let them learn from their own mistakes. Each is individual. Don't interfere with their battles. Clean your house as much as it takes to make you comfortable -- Home Beautiful will probably not want to do a spread on it, and the dust will come back. When it stops being fun, go do something else for awhile. At least you have people around who will help. And most of all, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, FIRST. You won't be good for anyone else if you're not good to yourself.

It may feel like it at times, but YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Don't let anyone trivialize your feelings and emotions, throw yourself a pity party without guilt to acknowledge to yourself that you feel lousy, and then try to loose yourself in something enjoyable until you feel better and able to take things on one-at-a-time.

quiltincharlotte

Hi Nancy - I am printing out your message - such great words of wisdom! Yes, we all go through very trying times . . . and we are ladies with compassion and will be here for each other.

weezie

You WILL get out of the low spot (the one we have all been in) and it looks as though you are making good progress. The only thing I would add to what everyone else said (and no, I didn't read it all, so my advice may be a repeat) is to make sure you get good daily nutrition ... all your vitamin A's, B's, C's, D's, etc. and necessary mineral requirements. You might be amazed at how seriously BLAH you can feel just from not having enough of something that your body and mind needs to stay healthy. If you are crying a lot more than is usual for you, you probably have a hormone imbalance, also.

Believe me, I'm not making light of your family and business ups and downs, but I know that you can deal with everything better if your body's physical and chemical needs are met.

sewjoyce

So glad to hear that you're feeling better. It sounds like you're doing what's best for you -- keeping busy and doing the things you love!! However, if the bad feelings persist, please talk to your doctor. He may want to to put you on medication for a short time. I also take a "happy" pill each morning but occasionally the dosage has to be adjusted.

At least you realize you're grumpy and depressed -- sometimes hubby is really grumpy and I ask him, "who pissed in your cheerios this morning"... :lol: :lol:

pittsburgpam

I feel for you Barb. I think it happens to everyone once in awhile. I don't know how to help you other than to just say that I understand.

I have felt so incredibly down and wanted to talk to someone but I feel so stupid for not just getting over it. Work is a worry (I work for a mortgage insurance company and we all know how THEY are doing) so my job is less secure than I am comfortable with. I live alone and I am so incredibly lonely sometimes. I cry at night laying in bed sometimes and I mean outright sobbing.

My mother is gone, my father passed away a year ago. My children are fairly close (not in distance) but I long for that special love and companion in my life. Even that makes me feel weak because I'm a strong, independant woman... right?