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Thread: How do you take it?

  1. #1
    Power Poster
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    How do you take it?

    If/When someone is not excited about a gift that has been lovingly crafted for them - - -

    How do you deal with it?

    Do you feel like you were personally rejected?

    Do you just shrug it off?

    Do you "start small" to see how the person takes care of gifts before going straight to making a king-size quilt for him/her?

    I have found that some people really do prefer a gift certificate - or a store-bought gift (with return receipt enclosed) to something that has been made "at home."

    It's okay - it usually costs less - and has saved me a lot of time and energy.

  2. #2
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    I ask in conversation. Like one of my friends prefers everything store bought. No matter what it is. I have made baby quilts and ended up they never washed it and it got pitched after the dog used it in a whelping bed. Couldn't stand the thought of it in her washer. I used to do a lot of wood craft. Different hat stands as centerpieces for different occasions such as showers an holidays. I won't put a lot of time and effort into a quilt. My girlfriend crochets. She did a complete baby set. Cap, jacket, little leggings and booties and afghan. Absolutely stunning and a lot of work. The mother and grandmother put it under the gift table when we arrived. The Mother-to-be saw and pulled it to the top. She asked if it was ok to save the best for last. When she opened it, she broke into tears, it was the most stunning handmade gift she had ever seen. ribbon woven through the cuffs. Everyone oohed and aahed. The mother and grandmother said, it was bad for homemade craft and you certainly couldn't take it back and get a refund. Mother to be said who would want to get a refund on something so beautiful made with love? But I just ask first.

  3. #3
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    I always assess if people are quilt worthy. They have to either request or be pretty special to me. I know I would be hurt if a handmade gift wasn't appreciated so I just get gift certificates for those people.

  4. #4
    Super Member Stitchnripper's Avatar
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    And some people just don't like or want a quilt. I quilt for my own pleasure primarily. I might make a baby quilt if I want to and have an indication that it will be appreciated.
    Alyce

  5. #5
    Super Member helou's Avatar
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    They have to REALLY want something that I have made : knitted, crocheted, cross-stiched, quilted or sewed! To much work involved!

  6. #6
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    How about when they never acknowledge it or thank you. My niece had a baby girl in May and I vowed not to make or give her anything because she never thanked me for the two times I sent something for her son. But then I feel , it's important to me that I make something and give it so I feel good about it. Her bad manners shouldn't prevent me from doing what I thing is right.

  7. #7
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    There is no way to see how someone will receive a handmade gift. I gave one quilt away and it was totally unappreciated till the person was told by DH how much time and money it cost. Suddenly I was a genius and he loves it. Go figure.

  8. #8
    Super Member maryb119's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toverly View Post
    There is no way to see how someone will receive a handmade gift. I gave one quilt away and it was totally unappreciated till the person was told by DH how much time and money it cost. Suddenly I was a genius and he loves it. Go figure.
    People who don't quilt have no idea the amount of time and work and expense that goes into making a quilt. I think sometimes it is not that they don't appreciate it, they just don't understand.

  9. #9
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    Amazing the girl turned out so gracious, in spite of Mom and Grandma!

    I made a quilt for my niece, found a panel, they did not have all the coordinating fabric, so off to two or three other stores, some 30 miles away, to get "perfect" fabric. Spent about $200 on project. Asked sister if niece's baby uses quilt. "Yes, she uses it every time he takes a bath." She thought it was a bath mat, maybe because it had minky on the back?? Then I started getting online pictures, and there it was, on the floor, under his snack table, protecting the carpet. I am VERY selective of who gets my quilts now. They might not be perfect creations, but my time (and feelings) are worth something.

  10. #10
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    I will only take the time to make a crochet afghan or quilted lap quilt for my own family members. Other quilted items are given to charity where I'm sure they are appreciated.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by regm View Post
    How about when they never acknowledge it or thank you. My niece had a baby girl in May and I vowed not to make or give her anything because she never thanked me for the two times I sent something for her son. But then I feel , it's important to me that I make something and give it so I feel good about it. Her bad manners shouldn't prevent me from doing what I thing is right.
    I have reached the same conclusion. I do what I feel is right and important to me. I remind myself it is a gift and belongs to the recipient not me.

  12. #12
    Super Member alleyoop1's Avatar
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    Besides baby quilts, have only made large, bed size quilts for my children and they all seem to love them. Youngest daughter even has 2! One on her bed and one on the back of her living room chair.

  13. #13
    Super Member Kitsie's Avatar
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    And I'm sure that many other wonderful crafted gifts receive the same response - woodwork, painting, pottery, etc.
    It is true, too (sadly for us quilters) that not everyone likes these gifts!
    Oh well, we can and do appreciate each others quilts!

    Quote Originally Posted by maryb119 View Post
    People who don't quilt have no idea the amount of time and work and expense that goes into making a quilt. I think sometimes it is not that they don't appreciate it, they just don't understand.
    http://s1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh485/KitsieH/
    Never regret growing older, its a privilege denied to many.
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

    Kitsie

  14. #14
    Super Member AZ Jane's Avatar
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    I guess I am different, I make what I want them to have. If they don't love it, no big deal. Except. except, except = I made by daughter the Scrappy Burgoyne Surround but I never saw it when we went over. I was getting a little miffed, don't know why, I usually don't. So I asked her, it was in the closet, she was hiding it every time she knew I was coming over. The dog has chewed a hole in it!! I made her pull it out so I could fix it before I had used all the fabrics that were in the quilt. Mission accomplished!!
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Better to do something imperfectly, than nothing perfectly.
    Done is better than perfect.

  15. #15
    Power Poster earthwalker's Avatar
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    I kind of assess the recipient first....you can usually pick who will appreciate handcrafted items. So far I've been accurate and my gifts seem well received. Have to almost sit on my husband sometimes though! Quite often when I have just handed over the quilt or item he will say....look at the stitches....she did this by hand....do you know how many hours that took....sweet, but exasperating.

  16. #16
    Super Member donnajean's Avatar
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    I don't think I would ever make a King size quilt for anyone, including myself.

  17. #17
    Super Member zozee's Avatar
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    I kind of know in my family who would or wouldn't appreciate a quilt. I made my first wall hanging for my mom who promptly put it away in her closet because it was "too nice" to keep out. Huh??.? Major hurt. The kids gave her a latch hook wall hanging and told her as much. She said it would feel so good to scratch her diabetic feet on. Ouch in my heart. Trying to respond graciously when a handmade gift is not received as I want is very hard. I just only make things for people who understand this particular expression of love. For others, I can't make them love handmade stuff . The best gift is thinking what THEY want. After all, I couldn't appreciate Super Bowl tickets. I'd rather have the amount of a ticket in a fabric store gift card, but if I were given it by a football fan, I'd try to accept graciously. That's hard too, especially if I think the giver should know me better.

  18. #18
    Super Member zozee's Avatar
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    [

    gorgeous quilt and I can see why your DD was afraid to show you what the dog had done!

    QUOTE=AZ Jane;7278744]I guess I am different, I make what I want them to have. If they don't love it, no big deal. Except. except, except = I made by daughter the Scrappy Burgoyne Surround but I never saw it when we went over. I was getting a little miffed, don't know why, I usually don't. So I asked her, it was in the closet, she was hiding it every time she knew I was coming over. The dog has chewed a hole in it!! I made her pull it out so I could fix it before I had used all the fabrics that were in the quilt. Mission accomplished!![/QUOTE]

  19. #19
    Senior Member Angellight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maryb119 View Post
    People who don't quilt have no idea the amount of time and work and expense that goes into making a quilt. I think sometimes it is not that they don't appreciate it, they just don't understand.
    My story has an exception:
    A good friend of mine who quilts has a child who requests quilts from her mother. This child did know the time and expense involved, because my friend was VERY good at making sure everyone knew how much she spent on things. I was recovering from foot surgery and decided to make a very cute "bear" quilt for the first child. It was made in pastels since she had not found out the sex of the child that turned out to be a boy. I was at her house one day, and she did indeed use my quilt on the floor for a "play mat". Of course they had 3 big dogs who were all over it too. The next time this person had a baby she got a simple fleece blanket and some clothes.
    I truly believe that I have no say in how it is used after I give it, BUT it is hard not to take it personally when you see things used by the animals in the house by someone who knows the time and cost put into something like this.

    Happy quilting.
    Susan
    “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” – Anonymous
    Susan - AKA _ Anglelight

  20. #20
    Super Member crafty pat's Avatar
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    I never make a quilt for anyone who has not ask for one or said they would love to have one.

  21. #21
    Power Poster ManiacQuilter2's Avatar
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    I try to choose friends who appreciate hand made things. If I make a mistake, you just have to shrug it off and get on to making your next project.
    A Good Friend, like an old quilt, is both a Treasure and a Comfort

  22. #22
    Senior Member donac's Avatar
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    I made a beautiful Irish chain for my in laws. I never saw it on their bed even though it matched their border in their bedroom. Recently dh was at his mom's house and went looking for it. He couldn't find it but a week later someone else had found it. Dh brought it home. He knew how much time I put into. The top doesn't match our bedroom color but the back does. I love looking at the quilting.

  23. #23
    Super Member purplefiend's Avatar
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    I made a queen size quilt with pieced baskets for the top for a relative. She likes the backing, so nobody ever sees the front of the quilt.

  24. #24
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    I have made two baby quilts - one acknowledged with a photo of the baby on it on the lawn and one which was not. My lovely sister in law did tell me that one was also used. I'm glad they're being used. I'd rather have a baby on my quilt than on a cold, hard floor or prickly grass. These are not hand quilted heirlooms by any means but were made to be durable and used. I'm making another one soon.
    If you aren't sure, I'd start small.

  25. #25
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    one SIL wanted anything I made with plastic canvas and I gave her all kinds of stuff because she had it all out and take care of it. She also asked for a cowboy boot made out of all jeans and I knew she would take care of it. A nice I made all Barbie clothes for her when she was little and still has them. Her mother other SIL I gave a pumpkin out of plastic canvas to hang on her door. She put it outside in the weather on a chair with a plant sitting on it. I also had a friend that took all my sewing boo boo's, she didn't care if they were rejects from sewing. So you know who gets stuff I make and who doesn't.

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