MissyGirl

Well…I just got an email from Andrea, my daughter’s wife, she told me that my daughter does not want to see me after all. She said she was sorry for any trouble this has caused me. I do not know if it caused trouble at all. I don’t think it did. I do know that I feel sad and the same sense of loss that I felt when they decided years ago that I was not their mother anymore. That was so heartbreaking.

I am angry with myself for saying anything to anyone about me getting to see her because it feels like I jinxed this whole thing. Damn it.

I have been portrayed by my ex-wife as a monster. One who abandoned my children. I left them with my ex-wife because that is what they wanted. I did not abandon them. At least, that is how I am remembering it. Maybe I did. Maybe I was and am a monster. Maybe there is no reason on earth that I should ever have a relationship with them. Maybe I have no value to them.

I was told not too long ago that I have not made one single notable contribution since I have been alive. Nice, huh? Maybe that person is right. I just have no idea anymore. UGH.

Sorry if this is coming across as a pity party. It is only my intention to pour out my heart.

*deep sigh*

The love of a mother never ends, even if her children don’t love her back.

In deep sadness,

Missy

M.E.H.

It sounds to me like you know some people that are not very nice and they do not know you very well. I am just going by what you have said on here and I feel like you are worth more than you know. You are a great person.

MissyGirl

Wow. Thank you so much.

Missy

MissyGirl

I posted a question to the members of my support group for the lap band about how to slow down when I eat. I eat like I will never see food again. I know that when I eat like that food gets stuck in my band. That is painful and ends in me throwing it back up. I do not want to do that anymore. Thus, me asking the question.

This is one person's response (I think it is packed full of wisdom):

"Big problem for me too! Some ideas: get a timer and make sure that you go 30 or more seconds between swallowing and your next bite, taste your food....I mean REALLY taste it. Feel the texture(s) on your tongue, get every last bit of flavor before you swallow, taste that food as if it were your last meal!

Another idea - when the food is in front of you say a prayer of thanks for your food and your band before taking that first bite. Reaffirm your commitment to yourself to get a healthy-sized body. And always remember that your food is there for you to enjoy at your leisure. If the band is being fickle and you can't eat now, wrap it up and anticipate enjoying it later; it will always be there."

I know that you guys don't have the band but it holds a lot of truth about slowing down. I think that the timer thing is excellent advice. It takes us 20 mins to feel full. So, I am going to set my timer for 20 minutes and try my hardest to make my meal last that long.

What do you guys do to slow down while you eat?

Missy (I am trying to redirect my thoughts from my sad situation with my daughter...)

Rita's mom

Missy I love your new avitar! I am so sorry your daughter is having second thoughts but don't lose hope. Like I said earlier kids can be influenced for a while but then they grow and mature and either see or seek the truth. The fact that she wanted to see you makes me think she is already questioning what the real truth is. Don't lose hope, maybe send her a message saying you were really looking forward to seeing her but will be patient and wait untill she is ready and that you will always love her no matter what. Maybe someone else had a hand in her decision.
I don't know who told you that but I agree with M.E.H they don't seem like very nice people. Oh heck who am I fooling they sound like a real a**hole. For someone to say that they must be a miserable hateful person with more problems than you will ever have! Missy you are a great person, you have helped me more than you will ever know and I'm sure others on here feel the same way. Sorry you are having such a sad night.

irishrose

Missy, have you ever considered that the 'fault' might lie with the person who would say such a terrible thing, not with you? Read Rita's Mom's post carefully. She said what we all feel so well. I'm sorry your daughter has had a change of heart, but the door has been opened a little crack.

I like the new avatar.

scrapngmom

PMissy. My heart goes out to you. Our children can and do mistreat us. All we can do is love them. Dont listen to the negative people. You have been an inspiration to me. In my book you are A beautiful and valuable jewel

MissyGirl

Thank you so much for being so sweet and so kind. You guys are awesome! I love you all and am so thankful to have you in my corner.

Missy

Leann

Hello friends. Missy, I just believe things will work out in your favor in time. Don't lose hope.

As if my month hasn't been challenging enough with my knee issues, I was sick in bed with a stomach virus for almost a week. I never go anywhere so don't know how this came around. The rest of my family has been spared. But, knees are finally good - no swelling and I have full range of movement (can pull my heel to my butt) and the pain is becoming manageable.

I am gonna upload a photo of my bargello. It is in 4 sections. At the top and bottom towards the right side are 2 pieces that look renegade that I feel should be replaced. Your opinion?

I am losing! (I really am!)

irishrose

Lynne, sorry you've been ill. It takes such a chunk out of our lives.
Do you mean the little dark area on the edge about a third of the way in? As I tell my daughter, when it is sewn together it will match. Would it bother you if it were on a quilt I was making? We are so critical of our own work. I think it looks wonderful.