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  • Marriage happiness and longevity... what's your advice?

  • Marriage happiness and longevity... what's your advice?

    Old 12-23-2009, 06:23 PM
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    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Posts: 9,688

    The years of marriage post got me to thinking about all the wisdom in relationships that is out there. Let's put it to good use and sign in with what's your best advice for a newly married couple. I will send the link to my son and his new fiancÚ' once it's full! I bet the advice will save a marriage for someone somewhere--or at least enhance many!

    I can't wait to read your words!

    Oh--my best advice, since my husband is the better partner--the more patient and less demanding one--I'd say make sure you marry the right person--one who adores you. :wink: Another area we do well is in supporting each other's hobbies. And... make sure you are similar in spending habits and desire to travel, or not. (Thank goodness Mark doesn't mind never going anywhere overnight. I hate traveling.)
    barnbum is offline  
    Old 12-23-2009, 06:35 PM
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    Join Date: Aug 2008
    Location: Northern Virginia
    Posts: 506

    My advice would be to laugh with your spouse every day. It sounds kind of simple, but the sense of humor we share has helped us to overcome all the sad & bad we have encountered. We each know that we will always have someone in our corner that wants to make it better.
    Maribeth is offline  
    Old 12-23-2009, 06:52 PM
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    My best advice is to remember how much you love each other -- especially when he/she's done something that REALLY ticked you off.

    Marriage BEGINS with the wedding and that "happily ever after" doesn't always come easy. Both spouses have to want to make it work -- and trust me, it's can be worth the all the effort it takes! :D
    sewjoyce is offline  
    Old 12-23-2009, 07:19 PM
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    Location: NW Minnesota
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    Remember that your spouse is the best friend you will ever have. I agree that a good sense of humour is huge, and to be able to laugh at yourself. We all have faults, so if we can accept each others' faults, rather than be upset by them, day to day life goes by so much smoother.

    Be as patient with your spouse as you would wish them to be with you.

    Best wishes to your son and his finace for a long and happy life together!!!!
    Pzazz is offline  
    Old 12-23-2009, 07:37 PM
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    Location: new york state
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    Remember that being married doesnt mean either one of you lose your identity. We do not marry to own someone. We marry to share lifes journey together.
    zennia is offline  
    Old 12-23-2009, 07:37 PM
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    Join Date: Jun 2009
    Location: Jordan
    Posts: 1,714

    Respect is my advice and leave what happens between 2 of u just a secret. Love and love as the partner is. Do not try to change. U give options and easy ways to make things (right in your opinion) but don't say do this this and not this.

    My mother asked a 28y man of her relative why don't u married till now?
    (Bec i never met some one i love) he said
    (Don't find some one u love her, find some one she loves you)she replied.

    When i remember new things i will add . It's a good thing to speak about
    sawsan is offline  
    Old 12-23-2009, 07:38 PM
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    Don't believe or expect that marriage is a 50:50 division of labor or responsibility. It's a give-and-take proposition that does not need a balance sheet. (It does tend to balance over time.)

    Laugh a lot: With each other, at each other, at yourselves.

    Sometimes, being right may not be the thing to insist on.

    Remember, that once a hurtful word is spoken, it can never be taken back.

    Evaluate your values BEFORE you get married to make sure that you are compatible. Many couples do not discuss their dreams and expectations.

    Realize that the love changes over time. But love is love - go with it and have fun.
    MadQuilter is offline  
    Old 12-23-2009, 07:52 PM
    Join Date: May 2009
    Location: LA - Lower Alabama
    Posts: 888

    Don't expect your partner to be perfect. Are you?
    Marriage is give and take - but be prepared to always be giving and LOVE those taking times! LOL
    Don't lose the 'fireworks' - don't believe anyone who tells you that the fireworks fade - DO UNDERSTAND that the fireworks change~~
    Don't ever start a 'blame game'.... over anything ....
    JJs is offline  
    Old 12-23-2009, 08:03 PM
    Join Date: Jun 2008
    Location: Camarillo, California
    Posts: 35,242

    Do not expect your spouse to be able to fulfill all your needs, there is no way they can.
    A shared faith is HUGE
    Forgive, forgive, forgive!!! Your spouse and yourself!!!!
    Your spouse is not your enemy!!! Look at each other and frequently tell each other "You are not my enemy"
    Jim's Gem is offline  
    Old 12-23-2009, 08:09 PM
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    Location: La Pine Oregon, USA
    Posts: 5,907

    After being a divorcee and a widow, I'm now on marriage #3. My advice is to be flexible and KNOW that your way is NOT always the only way. Humor in a marriage is important......especially as you age...OMG, do we EVER need a sense of humor sometimes!!!!
    amandasgramma is offline  
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