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  • Marriage happiness and longevity... what's your advice?

  • Marriage happiness and longevity... what's your advice?

    Old 12-25-2009, 08:37 PM
      #61  
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    Laughter is always a good thing!

    My wife and I are both a little off when it comes to humor. We find the same things funny and we are always joking around with each other and sometimes bring innocent people into it. Before you know it everyone around us is dying laughing about something.

    Billy
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    Old 12-26-2009, 01:41 PM
      #62  
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    After 47 years of marriage, I have come to the conclusion that all answers are correct -- it's getting them all together that is the clincher. What sawsan and omak said are phenomenal. I need to write that on a poster and post it somewhere. Even after 47 years. This is a great thread!

    Yep: Marry one who love YOU.
    Love is not a feeling. In other words, it's a commitment.
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    Old 12-26-2009, 01:56 PM
      #63  
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    Marriage is work and compromise. Nothing stays alive unless you feed it daily!
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    Old 12-28-2009, 09:52 AM
      #64  
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    My husband and I met several years after each of us had ended 20+ year marriages. I can't speak for him, but I knew who/what I was looking for: emotional intimacy, affection, and someone who put me first on his list of priorities. I knew within two months of knowing him that he was "the one" I'd been looking for.

    Like so many others here, I strongly believe in the power of laughter and affection to cure all ills. Sometimes just a little touch of the hand is all that's needed to make that heart-to-heart connection strong again.

    Be kind, don't forget basic courtesy, and acknowledge that you each have a right to your own opinions. Never, ever, take this person and their love for granted. Let them know *every day* with words and/or actions how much you appreciate having them in your life.

    I really like what someone else said here: before making that clever retort in an argument or whatever, ask yourself, "Does saying this help US? Or does it just allow ME to feel better/smarter/more clever?" Thinking about this is THE major difference between how I behaved in my first marriage and how I act now. If I've learned anything over the years, it's that thinking about US is so much more important than worrying about ME.

    Warning: none of this works or makes much sense if your partner isn't someone you respect and can trust with your heart. That's the basic foundation you have to start with; everything else builds on that.
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    Old 12-28-2009, 09:54 AM
      #65  
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    Originally Posted by Quiltin'Lady
    My husband and I met several years after each of us had ended 20+ year marriages. I can't speak for him, but I knew who/what I was looking for: emotional intimacy, affection, and someone who put me first on his list of priorities. I knew within two months of knowing him that he was "the one" I'd been looking for.

    Like so many others here, I strongly believe in the power of laughter and affection to cure all ills. Sometimes just a little touch of the hand is all that's needed to make that heart-to-heart connection strong again.

    Be kind, don't forget basic courtesy, and acknowledge that you each have a right to your own opinions. Never, ever, take this person and their love for granted. Let them know *every day* with words and/or actions how much you appreciate having them in your life.

    I really like what someone else said here: before making that clever retort in an argument or whatever, ask yourself, "Does saying this help US? Or does it just allow ME to feel better/smarter/more clever?" Thinking about this is THE major difference between how I behaved in my first marriage and how I act now. If I've learned anything over the years, it's that thinking about US is so much more important than worrying about ME.

    Warning: none of this works or makes much sense if your partner isn't someone you respect and can trust with your heart. That's the basic foundation you have to start with; everything else builds on that.
    Beautifully put!! :D
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    Old 12-28-2009, 11:36 AM
      #66  
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    An elderly gentleman was asked at his 50th anniversary what kept the marriage together all these years, and he replied.
    "a warm heart and a cold bedroom"
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    Old 12-28-2009, 03:19 PM
      #67  
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    Originally Posted by omak
    And remember that there is NOTHING more important than the human being standing before you. Humans are the ultimate creation of a loving God and we owe them our best effort to be the person they thought we were and are.
    True, true, true!!
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    Old 12-28-2009, 03:23 PM
      #68  
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    Lots of good advice here. Like I told my daughter, No marriage of 50 years got there without some problems. It got there by overcoming them. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone needs to learn to forgive them. Just learn to get over it and look for your own fault in what they did. No one is usually wrong by themselves.
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