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Need help on having a lasting and happy marriage! How do you do it?

Need help on having a lasting and happy marriage! How do you do it?

Old 07-16-2011, 09:06 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Las Cruces, NM
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After knowing each other for three months, my husband and I celebrated 38 years of marriage in April. For us, the most important thing is to remember that we are each other's best friend. It is important that we each follow our dreams, with the support and encouragement of each other. Enjoy the good times and remember the love you share when you are going through the rough times.
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Old 07-16-2011, 09:07 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Waupaca Wisconsin
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Be honest with each other, always be yourself. Talk about everything, share and love. Lots of it.
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Old 07-16-2011, 09:30 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: DC metro area
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My hubby and I have been married 20+ years. I think it boils down to you really have to be friends also.

I'm not sure how to explain this next part-the "falling in love" feeling sort of fades out over time with the daily grind of work, chores and children but friendship lasts.

And realize that occasionally you are going to not like him. But then he'll do something to remind why you married him in the fist time.

My sister gave me wonderful advice when I got married:
Don't tell people negative things about your relationship. For every negative thing you say about your spouse you have to say 3 good things. Because whe you only talk about the negative things then people will only know that one side of your relationship.

And another piece of advice came from my charity quilting grup. We have several widows, and when those of us who still have husbands go off on a tirade as we ladies sometimes do, the widows always stop us and say, "What if he died today before you got home? What if you woke up in the morning and knew you would never see him again?" That always leaves me thinking and appreceating mine.
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Old 07-16-2011, 09:45 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Maine
Posts: 2,944

We've been married for 35 years this December and the best advise I can give you is to treat each other well. Remember to say "please and thank you" and all the other kind words you would use with others. I wish you a long and happy life together.
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Old 07-16-2011, 10:20 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Woodstock, GA USA
Posts: 1,250

Remember when you are speaking to this person, this is someone you LOVE. Never accuse. (it isn't 'you make me mad when..' it's 'I get so mad when...' or 'I feel...when...').

LAUGH. a lot.

Nothing is permanent. Not the good stuff or the bad stuff. So act accordingly.

Forgive. Express gratitude.
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Old 07-16-2011, 10:35 AM
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Location: VIRGINIA
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have to have trust and be best friends ive been married 45 years now
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Old 07-16-2011, 11:01 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oak Point TX
Posts: 193

I married at 21 and my dad told us both "if you think you are old enough to get married, you are ld enough to sit down and discuss your problems." You never solve anything getting louder than the other, and yes, trust and truth and your faith in God will pull you thru. And another thing, don't fight over money, cuz you will never have enough to fight over...That was 68 years ago.
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Old 07-16-2011, 11:20 AM
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northeast IL
Posts: 2,064

Mutual respect & communication
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Old 07-16-2011, 11:45 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Fairfield, OH
Posts: 3,694

Trust. Don't sweat the small stuff. Make time for each other but keep your own interests too.
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Old 07-16-2011, 12:23 PM
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Location: Las Cruces, NM
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I have already posted, but just wanted to say thank you for this post. In reading the responses, it has caused me to remember things I know; most importantly it has made me remember things I have ignored or let slide for one reason or another.
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