ekuw

We are quilters. We love everything about quilts, We know how much time, effort and money it takes into making a quilt. All these stories are about people who received quilts and "disrespected" the gifter. Really? Once you gift the quilt you're done. To assume everyone else has the same passion for quilts leads to these feelings of betrayal. Here's why I say this. I won't make a quilt for my mother. Why? Because quilts are just not her thing. She leans modern in her home decorating, she was not raised with family members quilting/sewing, so quilts have never been a part of her life. Now that she's 80 and I like to quilt, she is not going to change. She understands the time and effort I put into a quilt and thinks they are lovely, but not for her or in her house. BTW, my mother and I are really close. I'm sure there are many other people out there who receive quilts from friends who are just like this. Of course she has never said this directly to me, but when I was first starting to quilt I made her a lap quilt. I haven't seen it, so I am pretty sure she has gotten rid of it, but that's ok. I did specifically tell her it was hers to do as she wanted and that included not using it as well. The point is, she didn't disrespect me. I gave her something that she did not ask for, so how can I expect her to display/care for it in a way that I find acceptable? I for one am happy that people Use the quilt I gave them; and if that includes laying it on the ground for a picnic so be it.

SusieQOH

Great point ekuw. Now that I think of the sampler I made my inlaws it was a long time ago. Knowing what I know now I wouldn't have made it. But I'm not upset about it either.
For all I know maybe she liked it and thought it was "too fancy" for hanging. Who knows? Doesn't matter
I made my son and his wife a sampler for their wedding last year and specifically told them to put it wherever they want or nowhere if they want. I just wanted them to have something to commemorate their wedding. I knew my son would like it but wasn't sure about his wife so I made it clear to both of them that I didn't care.
As it turns out she loves it and they have it proudly displayed. But I'm really careful when it comes to my DIL's. My sons grew up with needlework so naturally they like things I make. My DILS are great girls but I don't want to force my stuff on them!!!

Sandygirl

with hundreds of new items hitting the market each month..how do you expect the shops to keep up? If you want an item..they will happily order it in for you. Pretty simple.

sandy

HettyB

Before I started quilting (20 some odd years ago) I bought one of those cheapies. It served its purpose and has been replaced by one of my own. The cheapie is used now when sitting out under the beech tree on the lawn. When it gets grubby I can boil wash it and tumble dry.

Having said that, I rarely give quilts as gifts because I don't want to impose my likes and tastes upon others and because of the hurt I witnessed when a handmade gift was not appreciated...

Many years ago, my stepmother made each of my sister's 4 kids hand embroidered and personalised sets of towels. She spent hours on them and they were beautiful. The bath towels were used as swimming pool towels and were left to fester on the cool decking and the hand towels were used in the kitchen and face cloths disappeared into the garage workshop. It broke my stepmother's heart, it made my father angry, I was angry but my sister didn't see it. Some people put no value in handmade items. They don't understand that handmade often means "heart"made.

HettyB

Sewnoma

I also think quilts ought to be used. I grew up with handmade quilts from both of my grandmothers, and I surely used them for all sorts of things quilts aren't really made for. They were capes and forts and tents and all sorts of things. I took them outside and laid them on the grass and hooked them over fences and tree limbs...and grandma would just smile and patch over the tears and stains and send the quilt back sturdier than ever.

I still have some of those quilts! Each patch is part of my story. I love looking at them, so many memories are trapped inside of them. They're falling apart now, the fabric is old and shattering, but I would rather have those beat up worn-out quilt remnants that are chock full of memories, than a pristine baby blanket kept "safe", and left unloved.

So that's what I want for the quilts that I make, too. I'm sad if they are put up somewhere "safe". I want the kids playing with them, getting them stained and stretched-out and torn....so I can smile and patch them up and add to their story, for them to look at someday and remember. To me, that's the absolute best possible use for a quilt.

SusieQOH

Sewnoma, that's a beautiful post, thanks for sharing!

themadpatter

One of my closest friends at work was pregnant, and all of us cooperated on a quilt for her. Everyone made blocks, and I needlepointed the center square with his name on it. Brandon Takahashi Lim spaced perfectly around the center block. One day we were setting up the dining room, and I asked her now, what's the baby's name gonna be? "Brandon Takahashi Woo Gee Lim." Had to really try not to scream out, "What??? Where did those extra names come from???" I calmly said, "Uh, I thought it was only blah, where'd that Woo Gee part come from?" "Oh, that's (some explanation of its for the Chinese Grandparents' first grandson or something.) Big sigh of relief. And now, on the the binding and the sashes for the squares. What's your favorite color? Bright yellow and black, used together. Oh, good God, how am I going to get that to go with the baby quilt squares everyone already made??? I usede black seam binding around the squares, and bright yellow sashes, and honestly, it was gorgeous. And she Loved it! I went over to see her one day, and she proudly showed me how she had it hung on the wall over the crib. "And I'm going to tell him if he even touches it, I will kill him!" He's probably around 30 or so now, and I hope he hasn't used it for target practice or something. I guess the best thing is to just give them away, and try not to look. Like when we send our kids out into the world. Yeah, but if I make a quilt for my son, it had better not end up in the mud. Just sayin'.

huntannette

I have been very lucky (so far) because the people in my life who have received quilts I`ve made have appreciated and loved them. I even have my mom co-operating with me to make quilts. She embroiders and I put her work into quilts. She is so proud she shows all of her friends. My 13 yrs old goddaughter couldn `t wait to get her new quilt I made with dresses I made for her as she was growing up. She will be decorating her new room using the quilt as a focal point. I don`t know how I would feel if one of the quilts I made was abused. Think I`d be pretty upset!!

bearisgray

In my mind, there is a huge difference between being "used hard" and "abused"

For the type of quilts I make, it really is okay if they are used for tents (in the house).

If it was a hand-appliqued Baltimore Album type of quilt, I would have a fit if I saw it being used as a tent or a furniture cover on the back of a pickup.

Nanny's dollface

Seeing a quilt that has never been used stored away in a box or a hope chest for some unknown " one day" in the future. I would rather see one of my quilts all tattered and torn that was used rather than one that was kept pristine and never touched.