Can't finish my quilts
#21
God gave us all different gifts. Your sister may have many talents and yours may just be making other people happy by a smile or just helping out someone. We are all special in our own way. My one daughter can do anything crafty and do it great. My other daughter can't do decorating or crafts at all, but she is a great person at paper work and now is going into nursing. She is a great people person. So different. Just remember you are a SPECIAL person to all of us and you go get to binding those quilts and we want to see them when they are finished. OK I'm done. lol
#22
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: kannapolis, nc
Posts: 392
It could be low self esteem. I find it hard sometimes to finish or start something because I doubt myself. It is a lot harder when you've been told you can't do something all your life, those little voices are hard to ignore. Just keep pushing forward, even small steps move you forward. Don't talk yourself out of finishing your quilts, they'll turn out just fine. Right now I'm looking at a quilt that I need to finish the binding, scary stuff, I hid it in my cabinet months ago, but today I will finish it. (Or as soon as I get sick of looking at it laying on by sewing table.)
#23
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 8,139
My Mom went to her grave thinking she was dumb because her parents wouldn't let her and her older sister go to high school, but let her other sisters go! She was 2nd oldest and they lived on a farm and her parents needed her to help out at home. She left home at 15 and made her way in the world.
She helped me with college, but then seemed to resent anything I said to her, and would often follow a comment with, "You think you're so smart!". It was hard for me to talk with her because if she didn't like what I said, I always got that back in my face. Finally had to say to her that she brought me up to think and helped me get an education, so why did she expect that I would agree with her 100% on everything? That improved things for a long time.
When she was deep in Altzheimer territory, she brought up her resentment about not going to college, and said, she was just as smart as the other girls, and her parents could have afforded to send her, why didn't they? Then she said it always made her feel dumb! My response, and this was honest, was that she was one of the smartest women I know, that she could do many things that I could never hope to do and do them well! Then I listed a number of things she'd done and told her how much I admired her for her achievements. Her response, "You think I'm smart?" She smiled and we dropped the subject.
Don't let the script others programmed into you ruin your life. Write another script, one where you are what you want to be, and follow that script.
She helped me with college, but then seemed to resent anything I said to her, and would often follow a comment with, "You think you're so smart!". It was hard for me to talk with her because if she didn't like what I said, I always got that back in my face. Finally had to say to her that she brought me up to think and helped me get an education, so why did she expect that I would agree with her 100% on everything? That improved things for a long time.
When she was deep in Altzheimer territory, she brought up her resentment about not going to college, and said, she was just as smart as the other girls, and her parents could have afforded to send her, why didn't they? Then she said it always made her feel dumb! My response, and this was honest, was that she was one of the smartest women I know, that she could do many things that I could never hope to do and do them well! Then I listed a number of things she'd done and told her how much I admired her for her achievements. Her response, "You think I'm smart?" She smiled and we dropped the subject.
Don't let the script others programmed into you ruin your life. Write another script, one where you are what you want to be, and follow that script.
#24
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Small town in Northeast Oregon close to Washington and Idaho
Posts: 2,795
If you post pictures of your near finished quilts, I am sure you will get a ton of compliments and then will feel ready to finish them. Instead of thinking about finishing them, think about the fun of binding them. Some people hate binding but I absolutely love doing the binding. It is one of my favorite steps. It is relaxing, not taxing and can be done in front of the television. Try to have fun with it.
#26
Power Poster
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern California mountains
Posts: 12,538
I was also told that I had no "eye" and no talent (except for a professor who accused me of trying to mess up). There is sometimes a feeling that as long as something is unfinished it won't get caustic criticism. You might tell yourself that you will finish just one project, for yourself or for charity. You might surprise yourself. I suspect that you are really doing much better than you think you are. One thing I know about quilters is that almost all of us want to encrouage and help. when you are ready to share, we would like to see your work.
Now I hear, "That was just easy for you because you are SO talented and don't do anything wrong." Wrong. I suspect many of us are quilters in part because we can do "our thing" in private. It takes hard work and lots of guts to open up after being dumped on. Maybe open up by sharing a placemat, potholder or mugrug. Please don't let the 'artistic' bullies of your past win.
Now I hear, "That was just easy for you because you are SO talented and don't do anything wrong." Wrong. I suspect many of us are quilters in part because we can do "our thing" in private. It takes hard work and lots of guts to open up after being dumped on. Maybe open up by sharing a placemat, potholder or mugrug. Please don't let the 'artistic' bullies of your past win.
Last edited by QM; 04-06-2012 at 10:07 AM.
#27
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: WA
Posts: 412
What motivates me is the happiness I see in the eye of the person I gifted the quilt to. And I love going to someones house and seeing it on the back of the couch, or scrunched up as a pillow for someones head. I guess I just like knowing I gave something that gets used and loved. And on one ocassion I had a grandchild bring me a well-loved quilt begging me to fix it again. The darn thing was almost thread bare. That ocassion turned into a fun trip to the LQS and a whole new project for me and another opportunity for me to see the happiness in the eyes of that grandchild. I guess I love to quilt. :-)
I sure hope you can find something that motivates you to keep on with the process and create something beautiful. When I make a mistake sometimes I don't fix it intentionally...I remind my self that it is handmade and all is good. Whatever you create is part of you, love it and enjoy it.
I sure hope you can find something that motivates you to keep on with the process and create something beautiful. When I make a mistake sometimes I don't fix it intentionally...I remind my self that it is handmade and all is good. Whatever you create is part of you, love it and enjoy it.
#28
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2,189
annesthreads, The Lord didn't make any useless people, we do that to ourselves and each other.... There is no perfect person on the face of the earth, only a lot of people that each have a talent that is their own. It doesn't matter if it is only ONE talent or HUNDREDS. That talent is uniquely your own and nobody else can duplicate it. All my life I have always had the attitude that I was 'the bomb' (as they say), then one day my DH said something that knocked the pins right out from under me. At that point I questioned my life and what I was doing and wondering why I was trying to do anything. It took me a few years to get my confidence back, but it still isn't as strong as it once was and may never be. BUT I do know that I am a unique person and what I can and do do that nobody else can duplicate. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and someday my quilts will bring wonder to somebody in the future and they shall say, "I wish I could do what she did!" Just like we do with the quilts and scraps we find today....
#29
Sometimes, I start something and I'm not very happy with how it's turning out, don't know how to quilt it, or just don't feel like finishing it. I put it to the side and work on something else that is more fun at the time. I do go back and finish the others when I am more in the mood for it.
#30
Thankyou all very much for all the replies, which I've been thinking about -some great insights here. My current mood of discouragement is probably partly because it's a holiday weekend - never a great time for me. I can see various things that are contributing to my procrastination, which is almost a fear of finishing my quilts.
Bedtime now, so I'll come back to this tomorrow. Just wanted to say that I really appreciate all your thoughts.
Bedtime now, so I'll come back to this tomorrow. Just wanted to say that I really appreciate all your thoughts.
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