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    Old 12-20-2010, 05:04 PM
      #51  
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    I would not give him a thing. He needs to change the way he behaves. Tell your daughter you are breaking your promise until he straightens up. Do not put up with this. It will get worse. I have learned the hard way.
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    Old 12-20-2010, 05:11 PM
      #52  
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    There are many good suggestions listed here. Wisdom is given in Spirit and love of our Father and Savior. May I add my 2 cent worth?

    I've worked with women from all assorts of abuse. In Ohio we have a group called Choices. Maybe you have something similar in her area. Woman who fight back by defending their children often get hurt more seriously. Leaving or defending ones in hostile relationships can get woman and their children murdered. Please offer her in private numbers that can not be label as abuse networks. Even having a strange number can be dangerous. One of the techniques of these guys is isolation away from the woman's support system. It is about control and intimidation. Boundaries are often blurred and lacking. Knowledge is power for her. She needs to see what abuse is.

    Maybe not finishing the quilt and having a tyeing party would help show bounties and allow you fellowship with your daughter. May Our Lord give you wisdom in this concern. Amen
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    Old 12-20-2010, 05:15 PM
      #53  
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    Hey suzi, you and I think alike. It must be something about our names.
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    Old 12-20-2010, 05:46 PM
      #54  
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    Originally Posted by hazeljane
    Originally Posted by leatheflea
    I want to applaud you for making a quilt for someone that isnt quilt worthy. What angel you are. Your daughter and grandbabies are so lucky to have you. Maybe you could imagine that for every stitch that goes in and out of that quilt your sewing his mouth shut to profanity and negativity towards your grandbabies. Kill him with kindness, set an example to your grandbabies, we're all tempted to fall into his negativity, but kindness always wins.
    Me too. I was going to say that you should pray a little with every stitch. i sometimes look at my quilts as living prayers, designed to hold my loved ones when i cannot. I have made a few quilts for my husband's sons, one of whom was a total jackass to me for a long time. I prayed for patience, and more importantly, I prayed for his stress levels to be reduced. I think it shocked him that I made him a beautiful quilt. And it did improve our relationship.

    Pray for him, and your grandchildren, in whatever way you choose to pray. (For me, often it's just an intent and good thoughts). That he realizes what his actions do to his children, etc. Not angrily, but as if you wish for his own sake, that he realize his ways are hurtful.

    Sounds a little "woo-woo" I know, but I feel like it helps ME become a better person when I am able to let go of anger and dislike, and if he's your grandsons' dad- he is not going anywhere.

    Be well.

    Maggie
    me three!
    I think both these suggestions are wonderful. Prayer is powerful. I'll add mine to yours. God is all-powerful, a mighty God. All things are possible with Him. Sherrie
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    Old 12-20-2010, 05:48 PM
      #55  
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    Darlin' Pray for strength and peace for yourself and look up bible verses to use as the quilt stitching all around and through out the final process...then ask the Lord to bind the fellows ill temper and foul mouth...and then keep the little youngin's encased in prayer of protection. In time the Lord will heal him or remove his poor influences. But most of all he will be under conviction to come to the Lord. Just remember With GOD...All Things Are Possible. Love In Christ.
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    Old 12-20-2010, 07:12 PM
      #56  
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    Just think of it as doing it for your daughter, and not him. After all, it will make your daughter very happy.
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    Old 12-20-2010, 07:23 PM
      #57  
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    Sorry he is so full of himself, keep thinking of how happy your daughter will be for you to make this for her.
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    Old 12-20-2010, 07:38 PM
      #58  
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    I read a book once about a quilt that had curses(NOT cursing) quilted into the quilt. Turned out to be a scam to up the price of the quilt. :-) But, maybe you could quilt in 'be kind to your children';'love one another', etc. Man, that is a bad situation. The mother should realize that will scar her children for life, better to be without a father. okay, I'll get off my hobby horse, had an abusive father. Sorry for your situation and for the children.
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    Old 12-20-2010, 08:04 PM
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    similar situation here, good twin/evil twin in same person! let it go if you can. do it for family peace or for your daughter or to feel like a better person. try to give it time. good advice from many here, but the important thing is that you have to look at yourself in the mirror and be content with who you see. Good luck.
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    Old 12-20-2010, 08:26 PM
      #60  
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    As you are finishing this quilt, whether by stitching or tying, imagine that with each stitch you are imparting wisdom and patience to the receiver.
    Believe it. This is the season of belief. Imbue your quilt with love and spread it around.
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