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Thread: How can I overcome my fear?

  1. #51
    gaelicquilter's Avatar
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    Had the same thing happen to me once. It was early on in my quilting and my son was given one of my first. He was moving from one place to another and it was tossed out. One of his sisters saw and retrieved it. Needless to say I now have it at my home. I may do him a new quilt now that he is married with children but I'll give it to his wife!

  2. #52

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    It is indeed a very nice quilt, and I too am sorry that you found it the way you did. Unfortunately with some young people they have no respect for anything they get, likewise no respect for their elders or the law. Sad but true. The world we live in today is a harsh and selfish world. Keep making those lovely quilts dear heart, and give them away to loved ones, and shutins, and charities that can use them to benefit others. For the one soul that does not appreciate your quilt, there are so very many others that will.

  3. #53
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    amen

  4. #54
    Senior Member Karyn's Avatar
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    Seems like we had this subject come up not too long ago and somebody called Peanutberry upset the cart and the subject was pulled. What happened to that awful person?
    I have to agree that once we give something- it is no longer ours. We should give like we love- unconditionally!

  5. #55
    Senior Member Karyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prissnboot
    Gift it with the stipulation that if the recipient ever decides they don't like it, it comes back to you with no questions or hurt feelings.
    I did that once with a car that I sold to my sister. Guess what? She sold it before I knew what had happened. So this probably won't work either. Sorry

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sewmuchtodo
    I love creating and sharing with others, however now I am hesitatant to do this when it comes to quilts. My grandson is engaged to a sweet young lady, and I would love to make her a lap quilt. However the last quilt that I made it for my granddaughter. She was 17 at the time. I spent quite a while creating the quilt. Well, I was over at their house one day and while going out to the back patio I spotted her quilt just laying on the ground outside. It was quite apparent it had been there for a while. I was hearbroken, to see how it was disregarded. Ever since then I am unable to bring myself to commit to gifting a quilt. I keep trying to get past it, but it is so hard. I would love to make more quilts but I just keep thinking about the work and the lack of appreciation. Any suggestions on how I can get over this? This is the quilt that I made for my granddaughter..thanks for any suggestions.
    I suppose we have all had one of our quilts disrespected and have felt the hurt of this kind of "insult". I made a "rag quilt" for a grandchild bec I was asked to make it. Just recently, his parent asked me to "buy" him a blanket for Xmas. I didn't have the heart to ask what happened to the "quilt". I suppose there is an explanation, but I didn't want to hear it. As stated here, when it is given as a "gift" it has no strings attached. Let it go and hope someday they realize what they've done. I have a dtr who has a favorite saying....you can't fix stupid. I know that's cruel but sometimes that's where it is. Pull up your Big Girl Panties and share your love with others. That's what quilts are, you know, LOVE. Your quilt pic is beautiful and the downfall was not yours. Think about God giving His Son...what a Gift. Look how many do not enjoy that Gift. Stitch On!!

  7. #57
    pab
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    That is just a beautiful quilt! Now go make one for yourself and gift yourself.We have no control over what one does with a quilt once we gift it.I am sorry she doesnt appreciate the love that went into the making of the quilt for her.She needs to be told about this.pab

  8. #58
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    My Grandchildren that are grown are asking for another quilt. I will do it for sure for these 3 because their quilts meant so much to them.

  9. #59

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy11442
    Think about God giving His Son...what a Gift. Look how many do not enjoy that Gift. Stitch On!!
    Only Christians celebrate the gift you're referring to. My quilts are non-denomenational. I hope people enjoy them regardless of any faith, or lack thereof.

  10. #60
    Super Member luvstitches's Avatar
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    I only make quilts for people that appreciate them. I have someone in my family that asked to have a quilt that would match her colors in her living room exactly. Huh? She changes her decor every few years including furniture. That is a sign to me that my quilt I make for her will eventually be out with old. i.e. garage sale, off to college, or to the beach on Lake Erie! It is sad to see a quilt not taken care of though, I feel bad for you but KEEP on quilting because there are so many people that don't quilt but love them.
    Nancy

  11. #61
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    Many of us have had a "bad" experience with a gifted quilt.

    If one enjoys the process of making quilts, then do so just for the sake/joy/pleasure/challenge of doing it.

    I see no reason why a quilt has to be made with a particular person in mind.

    I also see reasons TO make a quilt for a particular person.

    If you don't enjoy the process, then stop making them.

  12. #62
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    I would have picked the quilt up and taken it home and washed it. I would also have told the owner that when she thought she was old enough to take care of such a precious gift she could have it back. The older I get the more impatient I get with people that have a lack of respect for most things. Your quilt should have been honored not disrespected. I am ver picky about who I give quilts to and I already regret some I gave away when I was a fairly new quilter. The quilt I made for my first grandchild is used for many things, even a dog bed thanks to my daughter-in-law. There will not be another quilt of mine in their home !!!

  13. #63
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    Don't know about your granddaughter but I think the quilt is beautiful and would really appreciate a gift like that. I think those who are not "crafty" just do not understand the work that goes into something like this. That's why I don't think I'd like to sell anything. If you don't know, you're not willing to pay a price in line with the work. So sorry this happened.

  14. #64
    Super Member quilt3311's Avatar
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    I have a grandson who has a dog that literally chews on everything. Needless to say GS is NOT getting his quilt until that dog is in doggie heaven.

  15. #65
    Super Member k9dancer's Avatar
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    I think the best 'revenge' would be to teach your granddaughter to quilt.

  16. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by k9dancer
    I think the best 'revenge' would be to teach your granddaughter to quilt.
    8-) :mrgreen: :D

    I agree!

    I think this is why the Habitat for Humanity Homes are so successful - people take much better care of things they have some sort of investment in.

  17. #67
    Super Member sewmom's Avatar
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    This is a little off subject, but kind of goes along with appreciation for handmade gifts.I was at Coffee and Crochet the other day and one of the ladies mentioned all the lovely baby afghans she had recieved from her DH patients when their daughter was born 7 years ago. some her daughter plays with but the rest are stored. She said that she didn't know what to do with them-didn't want to just ditch themb/c she new how much work and caring went into them, but also didn't want to keep them if they were not being used. I suggested donating them to Crisis Pregnancy Center, Women's/Childrens shelter or places like that. that way they would be loved and used. She thought that was a great idea.

  18. #68
    Super Member Roberta's Avatar
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    Perhaps you could enclose a note with quilts telling the person, if they don't like the quilt because it doesn't suit them, perhaps they could pass it on to a homeless shelter, charity auction, etc.

  19. #69
    Super Member jgriinke's Avatar
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    I agree with sewingladydi, make them and give them to charity. How about the local Hospice house? There are too many charities out there that would love to get quilts. Is there a Ronald McDonal house nearby? The list of charities could go on and on. Make some quilts up and donate away.

  20. #70
    Super Member grannypat7925's Avatar
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    Just remember that everyone is not so disrespectful. Look around at how they treat their other possessions and then think about how they would treat a quilt. That was a bad experience for sure but everybody is not like that so if you want to gift a quilt think about that ahead of time. Maybe feel out their opinion of quilts.

  21. #71
    Super Member justflyingin's Avatar
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    On another note...

    How long do you expect that person to keep your quilt that you gave? For life? What happens if it wears out?

    I live in Poland far from my family, so I can do what I want with gifts. No one will be the wiser. However, my sis lives very close to my family and was next door to her MIL. She couldn't get rid of anything without someone being upset.

    It is very controlling of the giver to expect that person to never get rid of it. Maybe if you make an heirloom quilt--expect that person to keep it pristine and forever. But as for me, if they use it a few years and wash it and was it, and then it kind of gets old it can be used for the dog, and then for rags...I'm fine with that. Why not? If they want to put it in a yard sale and get some money out of it, why not? (after a while--I'd hate to see it after only one or two months).

    If I did one like I saw here on this board with all kinds of applique and years of work on it, then I'd probably not give it away.

    I make a ton of charity quilts and they are pretty quick and people like them. I have a list of quilts I want to make "just because" but I have a bunch of these freebies to finish up before 2010 is over, hopefully.

    So, I also see it both ways. The cheap Chinese quilts that you can buy on sale for $20 has affected people's mindset, though. They have no idea it costs as much as it does to make a quilt. On the other hand, if it isn't their taste...they feel required to use something they don't like.

    However, the quilt you posted is quite classy and I'm sorry she left it outside on the ground. However, using it for a blanket on the ground (like a picnic blanket) isn't that bad to me. Maybe it's my age and attitude about things. However, she shouldn't have left it out there....

    If we all had everything everyone made us/gave us, where would we live? Our houses would be crowded/cluttered--more than they already are.

  22. #72
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    I always enclose a note with my quilts and other homemade items that states: It gave me great joy creating this gift for you. If my choice of fabrics or pattern does not match yours, feel free to pass it on.

  23. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mattee
    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy11442
    Think about God giving His Son...what a Gift. Look how many do not enjoy that Gift. Stitch On!!
    Only Christians celebrate the gift you're referring to. My quilts are non-denomenational. I hope people enjoy them regardless of any faith, or lack thereof.
    Accepting the Gift of Eternal life with God the Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit is what makes us Christians. I am so thankful for God's grace and love and will eternally be glorifying Him.

  24. #74

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    What exactly does your post have to do with quilts? I was under the impression that religion was out of bounds on this board. Nancy11442 at least mentioned quilts in her post, although she followed it up by making an extremely insulting comment about religion. Your post sounds a lot like proselytizing.

    Quote Originally Posted by prayerquilts
    Quote Originally Posted by Mattee
    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy11442
    Think about God giving His Son...what a Gift. Look how many do not enjoy that Gift. Stitch On!!
    Only Christians celebrate the gift you're referring to. My quilts are non-denomenational. I hope people enjoy them regardless of any faith, or lack thereof.
    Accepting the Gift of Eternal life with God the Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit is what makes us Christians. I am so thankful for God's grace and love and will eternally be glorifying Him.

  25. #75
    Super Member leiladylei54's Avatar
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    I feel for you!!! Your granddaughter was young at the time and hopefully with maturity she has changed how she treats homemade things. Naturally it goes without saying that her parents should have stepped in and explained to her what this gift from you meant.

    I try to tell people that when I give you a gift I made with my hands, I give you a piece of my heart. That usually works.

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