maine ladybug

It sounds to me like it's already eating at you, so how are going to feel when it gets to you? If you were a person who lies it wouldn't be bothering you. Since it is, you know what you need to do.

Sadiemae

Do whatever is best for you and your DH, ONLY YOU can decide what that is.

kathdavis

I refuse to lie, but sometimes they just can't handle the truth, so I don't say anything. If he ask, I tell my husband that I am just protecting him, since he has a hard time dealing with it. Same use to go with the Discover bill, until he took over paying bills a few years back and then he was shocked. Still recovering! LOL

bearisgray

For us, separate checkbooks has worked out well. Actually, both of us can write checks out of any of them - but I still think of 'our' money as 'his/household' money and 'my' money.

We've been married for 52 years. Most of the time this works for us.

kapatt

My husband and I use to argue about money. We have finally found a system that works for us. His retirement is put into one pot each payday where all of the bills are paid and where we buy our food. We put our gas money in a separate account. We also pay ourselves. Both of us get the same amount of money for spending. The rules are that neither of us has to account to the other one for how we spend our money. If I want to go out and burn the money in the front yard, he doesn't say anything. (Neither one of us have problems with hurtful things like gambling, alcoholism, or drugs so we don't worry about how the other one is spending his/her spending money).
My spending money is what I use for my quilting (and for going out to lunch with friends). He never makes comments about how much money I spend on quilting. I don't make comments on how he spends his money. We don't always get a lot of money for spending, but we try to make sure that we get some money.
I would hate to lie to my husband and I would hate for him to lie to me. It is a trust issue for us.

Edited to add...I agree with the poster who said that only you can decide what is the best thing to do. You are the one who will have to live with the consequences of what you do or don't do.

Sandygirl

I agree. Since she feels guilty for lying, take care of that by just coming clean and apologize to him. While I agree. About the expense of hobbies, his and hers, she will feel better getting it off of her chest . Sounds like the issue is that she may not feel comfortable making buying decisions without his "blessing". We don't know.

Hopefully he is gracious about it and wishes her hours of fun!
Sandy

grann of 6

Remember when you were little and your mother said to you "Let your conscience be your guide." ? Won't say any more about it.

lillybeck

Just read your signature and I think you will know what to do. Lying never is a good thing and when it does come out the distrust will be an awful thing to deal with.

QuilterMomma

The additional cost of the difference was the shipping right? Get right with God on this one and then let Him tell you what to do. That is my answer. I find myself sometimes in the same situation and have resolved that I want to enjoy myself in my quilting and if I am right with God about my purchase first then the husband will fall into place. My husband smokes so he does not have much room to say on spending on quilting. THis is a moral issue to me rather than a spending issue. If you could afford it by adjusting the budget then there is no issue there. You just did nto realize the postage was more than you thought and that will apease the difference in price and no more going this direction and all is good. Check with the Lord.

Geri B

I agree with neesie....it is over, forget it...this is not medieval times....it is something you wanted, found a good price, did not take food out of your children's mouths.....all that stuff.....be an independent woman!!!!!! I have done that all my married life.......a long one......always knocked off a few bucks if asked........or did not tell at all, when noticed..."oh, I've had that a long time." No trouble.....our theory about buying stuff is if it is not taking money that is "needed" for other things...go fo it.....Of course, large items were discussed and agreed upon - either yeah or nay, but everyday purchased are left to individual judgment.