Quilting leads to adoption?
03-31-2011, 04:22 AM
#32
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 8,814
Originally Posted by erstan947
I feel if it this is the way to go the Lord will open the doors for you. I'll remember your family in my prayers.
03-31-2011, 04:39 AM
#33
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 1,775
I had always wanted to adopt from Haiti but the cost is too much for me so next best thing was to adopt from the kids that are waiting for a home, right here in the U.S.
Eight years ago I began to do foster care for the state of MA. My first placement was a brother and sister ages 2-1/2 yrs and 12 mo. When they came up for adoption after their bio mom passed away, I adopted them. I was 51 yrs old :shock: ,at the time, and I have 4 grown children plus 4 grandchildren. I am still a foster mom and would still like to adopt more if possible.
I will say, concerning your sons, that I've had several foster children that went on to be adopted by other families and the bio children had a really hard time adjusting to the adoptive child so both times the adoption was disrupted and the child was moved to another "new" adoptive home. One of them is even on her 2nd "new" adoptive home and even that one is not working out for her. I am hoping that if she is moved again that DCF will move her back to me because we all loved her here. I'm not sure if my age is working against me, on this one, because she was only 5 yrs old when I had her and she just turned 7 :cry:
This is a wonderful forum for anyone interested in foreign/domestic adoption or foster care:
http://forums.adoption.com/
Adoption is a wonderful thing but it's not for the faint of heart. Some of the kids come through the process wonderfully and some come through with tons of problems.
Have you seen the Dr. Phil show about the woman people are calling "Hot Sauce Mom". Her child was adopted from Russia and she definitely was not prepared for the issues that her child came with, although his twin didn't have the same issues. Luckily they are both getting some help, now.
Good luck with whatever you do and remember....there is no rush....there will always be children in need of a home.
Eight years ago I began to do foster care for the state of MA. My first placement was a brother and sister ages 2-1/2 yrs and 12 mo. When they came up for adoption after their bio mom passed away, I adopted them. I was 51 yrs old :shock: ,at the time, and I have 4 grown children plus 4 grandchildren. I am still a foster mom and would still like to adopt more if possible.
I will say, concerning your sons, that I've had several foster children that went on to be adopted by other families and the bio children had a really hard time adjusting to the adoptive child so both times the adoption was disrupted and the child was moved to another "new" adoptive home. One of them is even on her 2nd "new" adoptive home and even that one is not working out for her. I am hoping that if she is moved again that DCF will move her back to me because we all loved her here. I'm not sure if my age is working against me, on this one, because she was only 5 yrs old when I had her and she just turned 7 :cry:
This is a wonderful forum for anyone interested in foreign/domestic adoption or foster care:
http://forums.adoption.com/
Adoption is a wonderful thing but it's not for the faint of heart. Some of the kids come through the process wonderfully and some come through with tons of problems.
Have you seen the Dr. Phil show about the woman people are calling "Hot Sauce Mom". Her child was adopted from Russia and she definitely was not prepared for the issues that her child came with, although his twin didn't have the same issues. Luckily they are both getting some help, now.
Good luck with whatever you do and remember....there is no rush....there will always be children in need of a home.
Adoption day for my 2 kiddos--Left to right--Jaelyn, Matt and my granddaughter Hope
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03-31-2011, 04:49 AM
#34
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ohio, the land of 4 seasons. sometimes all in the same week!
Posts: 2,487
a longgg, expensive journey. customs of the adopted childs' have to be catered to. talking about the people/place you are adopting from. not an easy process to be sure. good luck with your decision and remember, patience is key
03-31-2011, 04:50 AM
#35
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Fort White, Fl
Posts: 2,689
I know many peop;e who have adopted and are very pleased with their decision. It does take time and money. One family I know adopted 2 black boys that are the sweetest boys I have ever met and they are doing great within their family it is the world that is giving them trouble.
The Lord will guide you where He wants you to go but I would like to say that their are many neglected children right here in the US that you might want to consider.
The Lord will guide you where He wants you to go but I would like to say that their are many neglected children right here in the US that you might want to consider.
03-31-2011, 05:05 AM
#36
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 502
Have you considered foster care or working at a day care center during the day? Not as expensive as adoption and you would be helping other children.
I know of someone who adopted 5 girls from China, some needed expensive health care. There are children in this country that need to be adopted and loved too.
Carol J.
I know of someone who adopted 5 girls from China, some needed expensive health care. There are children in this country that need to be adopted and loved too.
Carol J.
03-31-2011, 05:13 AM
#38
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 4,648
My SIL adopted though DHS and it was a distant family relation but botton line , my neice has physical health issues and because she was in 3 foster homes before she was adopted at the age of 4. Needless to say she was not potty trained (none of the foster parents thought about it... she was a low maintenance child..and they didn't think about it.. it took them almost 3 years to get her trained not to mention the learning problems she has. She will be 11 this summer but only at 2nd grade learning level.
Another friend of mine adopted internationally and it cost them $20K or more... they had one baby lined up but at the last moment, the government wouldn't allow the adoption to go through...it was heart breaking... they had a good adoption lawyer and about a year later, they got a very active/bright son. I will be working with him in Awana Club this coming Fall..
Just research it out thoroughly before you decide and also, it's not jut YOU and your husbands decision... your sons are also a major deciding factor... you may have them work with you in a foster care area where the are other children like them and they can learn to understand that you have enough love for them and other kids too and not feel threatened...
Another friend of mine adopted internationally and it cost them $20K or more... they had one baby lined up but at the last moment, the government wouldn't allow the adoption to go through...it was heart breaking... they had a good adoption lawyer and about a year later, they got a very active/bright son. I will be working with him in Awana Club this coming Fall..
Just research it out thoroughly before you decide and also, it's not jut YOU and your husbands decision... your sons are also a major deciding factor... you may have them work with you in a foster care area where the are other children like them and they can learn to understand that you have enough love for them and other kids too and not feel threatened...
03-31-2011, 05:22 AM
#39
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Wadesboro, NC
Posts: 758
I enjoyed reading your story. Don't worry that it wasn't "condensed". I appreciate your willingness to help a child. I will pray for you. My cousin and her husband tried to adopt a child for years. Every time an adoption didn't work out for one reason or another, my cousin would say "that just wasn't our baby." They now have a wonderful 6 year old boy that they adopted at birth. He even looks like my cousin and her husband!
03-31-2011, 05:28 AM
#40
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Anderson, South Carolina
Posts: 86
So I just have to jump in on this one. If you look at my avatar you would think those boys are mine but so not. I adopted them from India when they were toddlers. I got the first one at 18mth old and the second about a year and a half later when he was 19mth old. I am not from India but from Trinidad. They have blessed and enriched out lives more than I can say. You will get much advice and much good and bad feedback....all good to listen to and ponder. I simply went with the peace God gave me through all of it. I was not able to get pregnant ever but now that I have these 2 boys I know why. All the best with your thinking and journey on this.
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