mimisharon

So so sorry for the loss of such a young person. It's heartbreaking...

May I suggest you wait longer than a couple of weeks. I'm speaking from my own recent loss. I'm still not ready to go through my husband's clothing. It's been two months and it still feels like an hour ago in my heart.

Hugs,
Sharon

marsye

Great idea! :cry:

ghostrider

I'm sorry for your friends loss. I, too, think you should wait much, much longer before you approach her about doing this, and perhaps even wait for her to suggest it herself.

I lost my father when I was 16 and my husband when I was 22, and would find a quilt made from the clothing of either to be something I would hold so 'sacred' I would never use it. It would be put away in a very safe place and rarely see the light of day. I don't think that is what you want to happen to something you made to help ease her pain, so please be sure it is something she really, truly wants you to do. It will be quite a long time before she will be able to know if it is.

Bevanger

how sad. i'm so sorry
thats a great idea about a quilt tho

littlehud

The quilt is a wonderful and caring idea. I do have to agree that you should wait more than a couple weeks. Give her a little more time. I'm sure she will cherish that quilt. My SIL had memory bears made from my moms clothing and we all were so happy to receive them.

SharonC

I couldn't imagine the pain this woman is going through. The idea of a quilt is so sweet of you, but I'd wait a little longer, and sorta talk around the subject...before suggesting it. See how she feels about the idea, before the offer.
Prayers to all who are suffering from this tragic loss.

ginnie6

well what I did was mention it to a friend of the family. She called me today and asked me what I needed to make it. His mother definitely wants one. So I'll meet her Monday and see what they bring me and go from there. I have a feeling there will be some t shirts in the mix and I'm kind of nervous about those.

quiltswithdogs

How very sad. I've never made a quilt for a recent loss. I'm never sure if looking at it will make the person grieving sadder and she can't bear to look at it, no matter how much she appreciates the kindness. I just don't know what to think, maybe others here do. You are very sweet to consider this. Maybe you can give it to her in a few months from now. The reason I say this is because when I volunteered with Hospice, in the Bereavement dept, we usually did not get called for support until about 3 months had passed after the death. That's because around that time the friends and even family members are tired of it (grief) and just want the person to get on with life. So maybe receiving the quilt then will be a visual validation that you realize she is still in mourning and you haven't forgotten. I don't really know, I haven't been there myself, thank God.

ginnie6

well its going to take me awhile to make it as I do the quilting by hand. So that will take care of a few months...and from what I understand his mom requested it. so.....I'm not going to rush to do it though.

3cats

This is my first time responding to anythng on this great site.

However, I wanted to respond with a "heads-up". My condolences to all. This is a very sad sad situation.

The others have said simple pattern and I agree with all they have said.
I just want to make this statement. When my husband died I wanted to make a quilt out of his flannel shirts. My younger son and my sister-in-law were thrilled. So I made one for each of them and myself. They all love them. HOWEVER, my older son DID NOT WANT ONE. I was not hurt by this, although I really did not understand, but I respected his wishes and WAS VERY GLAD I had asked him before I started on one for him.

So, if your friend is not receptive to this idea, do not feel badly. If she says no, prehaps in several months time, she might change her mind. I think it is a very comforting thing, but others might not. My best friend, could not even consider this thought, but another friend made 3 lovely small laprobe quilts from her husbands shirts for family. So, it is just an individual feeling. I hope she will be happy by this great suggestion, but don't be offended if she says No.

Thanks for all the great ideas on this site.

Julie