When you say chemo quilt...
#31
Power Poster
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 17,827
Mollie'sMom ... I'm sad for you too! I hope that in those windows that you are including some "real" pics of the two of you and your life story together ... and not just fabrics symbolic of how your lives have been intertwined.
Just remember, tears are good for both of you, and help with the acceptance of what's to come. Bless you for doing such a thoughtful gift for your friend. Be sure to continue to share some special times together and not just live with the memories!!
HavPlenty ... Each person faces the reality of what "is" in different ways. In my earlier comments, I tried to emphasize it was JIMHO, the way I wanted to be treated if/when, although I was also trying to represent those who felt the same, and were not part of the discussion. I felt I was going into dangerous territory with my first comment, though it seems there are several others here that are of like minds.
Too, I said my comments were with no disrespect for others of the opposite thinkings. It's important we remember we may all face challenges in different ways. I did suggest to be sure to take into account the recipient's wishes, mindset, etc. and yes, if they want the symbolisms by all means do it!
I too know many who have been ambassadors before, during and after treatments, doing so for various reasons. I also know some that were more like me and were not interested in the symbolic representations ... and later became ambassadors, etc. Not to worry, they are good friends, and I have not rejected them.
No, I have not been inflicted, though I have walked the journey side-by-side with many. And shared in the many different emotions and thoughts on this issue. So I somewhat have been there.
We each need to remember that we are all unique individuals, with our own individual ideas and ideals. Thank goodness!!!
We each need to ensure that those who are suffering with any diseases and the treatments, that it is all done, handled, managed in "their" way and not the way we ourselves think it should be!! Let us not lose sight of that!
Just remember, tears are good for both of you, and help with the acceptance of what's to come. Bless you for doing such a thoughtful gift for your friend. Be sure to continue to share some special times together and not just live with the memories!!
HavPlenty ... Each person faces the reality of what "is" in different ways. In my earlier comments, I tried to emphasize it was JIMHO, the way I wanted to be treated if/when, although I was also trying to represent those who felt the same, and were not part of the discussion. I felt I was going into dangerous territory with my first comment, though it seems there are several others here that are of like minds.
Too, I said my comments were with no disrespect for others of the opposite thinkings. It's important we remember we may all face challenges in different ways. I did suggest to be sure to take into account the recipient's wishes, mindset, etc. and yes, if they want the symbolisms by all means do it!
I too know many who have been ambassadors before, during and after treatments, doing so for various reasons. I also know some that were more like me and were not interested in the symbolic representations ... and later became ambassadors, etc. Not to worry, they are good friends, and I have not rejected them.
No, I have not been inflicted, though I have walked the journey side-by-side with many. And shared in the many different emotions and thoughts on this issue. So I somewhat have been there.
We each need to remember that we are all unique individuals, with our own individual ideas and ideals. Thank goodness!!!
We each need to ensure that those who are suffering with any diseases and the treatments, that it is all done, handled, managed in "their" way and not the way we ourselves think it should be!! Let us not lose sight of that!
Last edited by QuiltE; 07-18-2012 at 04:52 AM.
#32
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: MO (the Show Me state)
Posts: 2,947
I can hardly see to type this. This thread saddens me so. I just found out Sunday that my best friend from childhood has just found out out she has stage four lung cancer and it is inoperable. I don't think she has much time. I have started to make a windows quilt for her. In those windows I am putting pics of little girls and those things we have done together all our lives. Playing as small children thru being in each others wedding's and since then. We are 72 years old. She is a dear sweet person and has always been the life of the party. I am going to miss her. I hope I can get this quilt to her very soon.
i know it is a difficult time you are going through but whatever you feel your friend is feeling 100 times more. i kept this at the front of my mind every time i thought to stop and feel sorry for the situations my dad, his wife and my emotions were in and it kept me pressing forward for them. my sil was diagnosed 2 months ago with stage iv ovarian cancer with mestastasis to other vital organs. her prognosis is well.... not very good, dire even. but if you talked with her and my db brother right now you would not hear that from them. they have decided to look forward and her doc is encouraging them along with our family. you cannot help but do so because while they know what they are facing (they have 3 young children), they have refused to give up without a fight. so the rest of us fight with them.
i encourage you to press forward with your best friend. there will be plenty of moments that she will feel the weight of what she is going through so you may need to be a wind beneath her wings. enjoy the time you have with her, perhaps watch sunrises or sunsets, enjoy some of her favorite activities, have long talks and long walks, go to chemo sessions with her. while you may not be able to do anything about her possibly leaving, there may be plenty you can do now to celebrate your long friendship together. i know is may be difficult but think about it along with the quilt you are making her. i have been on both sides of this and when i went through my time, my family and friends rallied around me so tightly, i know their love and prayers and deeds paved a smooth road for me to travel. i could not have imagined walking it without them.
Last edited by Havplenty; 07-18-2012 at 06:44 AM.
#33
My 33 year old cousin was diagnosed with breast cancer in April. I asked her if she wanted a quilt, and when she said yes, I had her select the fabric and pattern for her quilt. She wanted bright and cheerful. I live in Texas and she is in Kansas City, so all of the selecting of fabric and pattern was done online. I sent her pictures of quilts I had made, and she liked one of the patterns. Then she told me blue and yellow with daisies. I found appropriate fabric and took pictures of it before I bought it. It worked out quite well. She has a quilt I know she likes, and I got to make her a quilt!
I saw no reason for the quilt to be a surprise. If you don't either, this might work for you.
Dina
I saw no reason for the quilt to be a surprise. If you don't either, this might work for you.
Dina
#34
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Only the Shadow Knows........
Posts: 968
My husband has PINKED me nearly to death!! I do however wear purple and the ReLay for Life symbol. I understand that pink is for women and women get breast cancer, but guys get it too. Don't stone me ladies, but breast cancer gets most of the focus while lesser known cancers get none. I AM WOMAN! I AM a Rainbow of colors not just pink!
#35
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 862
It is just a lap quilt intended for someone as they go through chemo. It does not need a particular pattern, color or fabric. I was part of a group making a bunch of blankees for those getting dialysis - these were crocheted and 45x60 was ideal. I would think a lap quilt of similar dimension would be perfect. Some prefer longer blankees, but it's pretty much a special request item. The two I donated are used only if the standard size blankee just isn't warm enough for someone. The rooms are kept cold for a couple of reasons - reduced bacteria growth, heat from the machines.
BTW, I do not make 'pink' quilts (or afghans). My Dad's cousin went through breast cancer treatment and chemo and was pinked to death. So, I feel free to use anything, but I try to have the final result be soothing rather than frenetic.
BTW, I do not make 'pink' quilts (or afghans). My Dad's cousin went through breast cancer treatment and chemo and was pinked to death. So, I feel free to use anything, but I try to have the final result be soothing rather than frenetic.
#36
Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 111
I've gone to chemo with several friends and it seems like there is a point where the meds take over and they just want to close their eyes and rest. That's when the chemo quilts come out. I've learned through trial and error that lap size is nice and instead of a backing and batting, I use a flannel sheet. It can be single layer or double layer. It is soft and comfy and there is no air space to deal with - it just molds to the body. I, too, like to avoid the pink ribbons. Instead I use a pattern that has appliqued butterflies on it -- a symbol of hope.
#38
Power Poster
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 17,827
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
So sorry about your sad news, QwkSilver ... I wish you an easy go with the treatments and that you send that beast running from your body.
Last edited by QuiltE; 07-19-2012 at 04:13 AM.
#40
Another thing, if you are or anyone is going to make cancer/chemo quilts for Infusion Departments (where they have chemo), check first with the department. I wanted to make some for the people where my husband had chemo and they said no because after each use they have to be washed. And that many washes are not conducive to a quilt. Same goes for Children's Hospitals (make one to take home) - but check to see if they allow the quilts. You also have to be super careful on the quilting or tying down - nothing to get in the way of the tubes, needles, clamps getting in the way.
I much prefer to give them as a "get out of the hospital" gift. Edie
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