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Thread: I'm upset...he didn't like it

  1. #26
    Super Member Charlee's Avatar
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    How do you get more patriotic than FLAGS and red white and blue?
    I am so sorry that he reacted that way, and so sorry that you were hurt! ~MEGA HUG~

  2. #27
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    Sorry your feeling are hurt. Forgive your dad, and releize there is something wrong with him health wise. It maybe the beginning of a health issue.
    It also could be the fact that the quilt brought some memory that he can't deal with. He may need you more that you know at this time.

  3. #28
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    I'm truly sorry this happened to you but don't let it prevent you from enjoying quilting. We've all had things like this happen to us. From people thinking that our art is a cheap way of getting out of buying a gift to just being plain rude. Your wall hanging is lovely.

    It's a shame that he couldn't have been more gracious. My father wouldn't have cared for it either. He wouldn't have said so though, he just didn't have any use for things like that. I say leave it and the hurt he caused there, if you bring it home it will be a constant reminder.

    A lot of older people don't appreciate anything that can't be "used." My mom was like that too. Don't give her any knick knacks that she had to dust, if it was a quilt it had better fit a bed, etc. One of her favorite birthday gifts was the year we went together and bought a handicap toilet and installed it in her bathroom. We'd have done that for her anyway but since it was her birthday and Mother's Day..... She loved it because it was practical. Perhaps your father is the same way.

  4. #29
    thismomquilts's Avatar
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    It is beautiful and VERY patriotic - I mean, what aspect of patriotism is not in it??? It's sad about his reaction - I made my sisterinlaw a quilt once - she did not like - I took it back and have not made her anything else.

  5. #30
    bj
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    I'm sorry your dad hurt your feelings. I have to say, sometimes it is a guy thing. My dad would not get the whole wall hanging thing. I made him and my stepmom a table topper. She loved it. He said what the he** is it. But that's my dad.

  6. #31
    Super Member lalaland's Avatar
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    It's really difficult to comment when one doesn't know the family dynamics of a situation. Unfortunately, it is what it is and there's not much we can do about it.

    That is a beautiful quilt, you did a great job and you should be proud of yourself. Now move on to something else, make a bedspread for yourself, or a wall hanging, or something really challenging like a mini quilt.

    And if it's something your dad would appreciate more, trade your quilt for a nice dinner out with you (or whatever), and take your quilt and put it on display in your home so you can enjoy it.

  7. #32
    thismomquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by taiboo
    My husband felt REALLY bad about it and loved it and today asked me if tomorrow he could go to my local LQS and buy me the accu-go that i have been waiting for July to get in order to receive my bday discount my lqs offers...LOL...I had to fess up that i already bought it online for almost $100 cheaper LOL and it will be here on Tues. OPPPS
    This is funny!! :) Glad you got it cheaper - now take what you saved and buy something else for your b-day!! :)

  8. #33
    Super Member earlylace's Avatar
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    I am so sorry, I would be crushed also, I am new at quilting have made 3 and gave them all away. Takes me 2-3 months to complete, so much love and work goes into making something quilted. Anyway, we live close by, I am in Washington, Warren County NJ. Where do you shop for fabric? Lace

  9. #34
    Super Member wvdek's Avatar
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    I'm sorry you feel so hurt. I had a dad that was the same way to our faces. However, to his cronies, he told a different story and bragged on us. Go figure.

    Your hanging is lovely and I know alot of guys that would be happy to receive it.

    So, here is what I would do. When I have settled down, go back to dads and ask him where the gift is you gave him. When he shows you, state to him that since he did not appreciate all of the love and time spent making him something special, you are taking it to the nearest VA center for the guys who have to live there and would really appreciate it, if it is ok with him. Aask him if he would like to go with you to present it to them himself. Not being mean or nasty, just letting him know that his behavior was uncalled for and he can't step on you that way.
    Now, I agree there malybe a medical problem with him so bring it up to his Dr. if you can.

  10. #35
    Super Member Charlee's Avatar
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    Taiboo....I just showed your post to William (my DH)...he asked me to tell you that as a vet, he would be MORE than honored, it would occupy a place of honor, and he's willing to pay for shipping!! :lol:

  11. #36
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    I think you did a beautiful job and I'm sorry your father didn't appreciate the hard work and workmanship, but personally speaking I sure wouldn't make him anything else. HUGS

  12. #37
    Super Member Olivia's Grammy's Avatar
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    Your quilt is beautiful. My MIL used to say "This is just the thing" then I would never see it again. I used to asked her if she was saving it for the next Mrs.? She was a good MIL to me and I loved her dearly until it was gift time.

  13. #38
    Super Member Eddie's Avatar
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    Oh, dear. I'm so sorry that your father hurt you like this. It was painful just reading it, I know it was 100 times worse being there and living it. I've had several episodes like that from my parents in the past, and it was hurtful each time as well. Again, so sorry. :(

    BTW, your wall hanging is beautiful, I love that pattern.

  14. #39
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    I think it is lovely. I know how you feel. My mother can be that way. It really hurts. You make something you think they really would like and not even a comment is made.Go back and get it and keep it for yourself or give to someone else. Hugs!!!

  15. #40
    kso
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    AS people age they often become more outspoken and will do or say things without thinking.That's not an excuse, but may help you to understand his behavior.

    I would simply go get it and tell him if he didn't like it you would give it to someone who would appreciate it.

    Your local Veterans Center, American Legion, VFW, etc would probably display it proudly.

  16. #41
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    Your wall-hanging is beautiful and is very patriotic! I feel badly that your feelings were hurt; mine would have been, as well. Some people are just very gruff and don't know how to graciously accept a gift.

  17. #42
    Senior Member taiboo's Avatar
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    WOW, thank you all soooo much for the love and support here tonight, It is VERY appreciated. I left it at his house with him, I will get him the stuff to hang it, if he does NOT hang it, I will take it back and donate it (excellent idea by the way) to the VA... as he is a VET too. I truely thought he would like it and am shocked at that response...but he is very hard to please.

    Again, thank you to everyone, you put a smile on my face :-)

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by wvdek
    So, here is what I would do. When I have settled down, go back to dads and ask him where the gift is you gave him. When he shows you, state to him that since he did not appreciate all of the love and time spent making him something special, you are taking it to the nearest VA center for the guys who have to live there and would really appreciate it, if it is ok with him. Aask him if he would like to go with you to present it to them himself. Not being mean or nasty, just letting him know that his behavior was uncalled for and he can't step on you that way.
    Now, I agree there malybe a medical problem with him so bring it up to his Dr. if you can.
    I LOVE this idea! I think your quilt is beautiful AND Patriotic!

  19. #44
    Senior Member taiboo's Avatar
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    :-)

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlee
    Taiboo....I just showed your post to William (my DH)...he asked me to tell you that as a vet, he would be MORE than honored, it would occupy a place of honor, and he's willing to pay for shipping!! :lol:

  20. #45
    Super Member quilter2's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry, it's a terrible feeling when your feelings get hurt even more so by a Dad. Your quilt is very pretty and it is patriotic, maybe he will have a change of heart, sometimes people react that way when they don't really know what to say.

  21. #46
    Super Member seamstome's Avatar
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    It is a nice wallhanging and it is patriotic. You obviously put alot of time, effort and thought into that gift. He is just being nasty. There is probably no "health" reason because he has acted like that with others and there is no excuse. He just sounds like a bully.

    It all depends on the family dynamics. Me, being me--and I AM NOT suggesting this for you, I would have told him where to stick it, I would have taken it back and I would never give him anything or any part of me again, not even a card on Father's Day. My best friend would be like you and let him pass. wvdek has a great suggestion.

  22. #47
    Senior Member quilting librarian's Avatar
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    I love it! Stars are one of my favorites, and I like the colors you chose. So sorry your dad didn't like it. He probably doesn't understand how much effort went into his present.

  23. #48
    Super Member sweet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by taiboo
    My husband felt REALLY bad about it and loved it and today asked me if tomorrow he could go to my local LQS and buy me the accu-go that i have been waiting for July to get in order to receive my bday discount my lqs offers...LOL...I had to fess up that i already bought it online for almost $100 cheaper LOL and it will be here on Tues. OPPPS
    lol, see things are getting better!

  24. #49
    Senior Member taiboo's Avatar
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    If my two young girls were NOT with me celebrating with us trust me...I would have done this.

    Quote Originally Posted by seamstome
    It is a nice wallhanging and it is patriotic. You obviously put alot of time, effort and thought into that gift. He is just being nasty. There is probably no "health" reason because he has acted like that with others and there is no excuse. He just sounds like a bully.

    It all depends on the family dynamics. Me, being me--and I AM NOT suggesting this for you, I would have told him where to stick it, I would have taken it back and I would never give him anything or any part of me again, not even a card on Father's Day. My best friend would be like you and let him pass. wvdek has a great suggestion.

  25. #50
    Power Poster sandpat's Avatar
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    I'm really sorry that happened to you, it sounds just like something my Dad would do. I'll never understand why somebody would want to deliberately want to hurt somebody's feelings...go figure. Anyway, I decided a long time ago that I don't care...I only have to sleep with my own conscious, not anyone else's. I've only made 2 things that he liked when I gave them to him....a shirt embroidered with his "beloved" dog's name and likeness and...a roll of toilet paper embroidered with the words "*(it happens"... :roll:

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