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Thread: I'm upset...he didn't like it

  1. #51
    Super Member sewjoyce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatriceJ
    i'd be shocked, too.

    go back and get it. give it to somebody who will appreciate it.

    even fathers make mistakes. this one was a doozy.
    Yep!! :D

    And I think it's beautiful!! :D

  2. #52
    Super Member Kathy N's Avatar
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    I think most of us have had that happen. I would have taken it back home without him seeing and then let him ask you about it. People just don't understand how much love we put into our art. Hang in their your work is beautiful and the next recepient will be grateful. It all seems to balance out in the end to keep us going!

  3. #53

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    Did you ask daddy why he didn't like it. If hes say he doesn't like and he doesn't want it. Send it to a fallen soldier family. Or a wounded solider. Don't let him know he hurt you make him think it just didn't matter. Hugs

  4. #54
    Pineapple Princess's Avatar
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    I'm sorry :(

    My mom does that too. I've just learned not to make something for her unless she asks for it...

  5. #55
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Kimberely- I think it's BEAUTIFUL!!! What kind of a patriot hurts his daughter's feelings like that???
    His behavior is inexcusable. Sorry, no excuses (in my opinion).
    I agree with the poster who said he sounds like a bully. And your daughters got to see this?? I was speechless reading your post. Why not give it to your hubby?? He sounds like a sweetie! Don't waste your time bringing him the things to hang it with.
    ((((((((((((( HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))

  6. #56

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    Most non quilter have no idea how long we work on a quilt we are doing for them.

  7. #57
    Super Member Boston1954's Avatar
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    I'm just wondering what his reaction would be on Christmas morning when you were 7 or 8 if you had said something like that about something he got you...........My Dad loved everything I ever got him, even if it was just typing paper.

  8. #58
    Super Member Susy's Avatar
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    Ouch, had to have hurt. Just remember, that age thinks differently (I just made my Dad a quilt & we had a deep discussion about this, he could not figure out why I made this just to make ME feel good) We had a long/wonderful discussion as to how in their day it was all based on doing something "useful/ make a buck to get the family ahead", not spend a bunch of money, etc etc, he didn't understand that I might just do something for "ME" to feel good! and hopefully him to appreciate. ( that I didn't just think what it would cost and how much "constructive" time it would take). Great understanding for both of us, sorry I have gone on, I just read this & thought of my Dad and am now, at the end of his life, understanding him. Beautiful, quilt, by the way!

  9. #59
    Super Member amazon's Avatar
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    Taiboo, So sorry you were hurt, been there done that, family you gotta lov'em :lol: With as much grace and dignity as possible ask for the gift back and ask if there is something that he could use or would like better. ( GREAT teaching opportunity for kids here)Take it home and put it where it belongs in a place of honor. It is beautiful, and how much more patriotic could it get? From your post(which I have followed from the beginning) I could tell it was made with great thought & care and love, so its his loss. Turn the other cheek, so to speak , be the bigger person, you only have to answer for what you do! Even though it still hurts :cry: (((((HUGS))))) and SEW forward!

  10. #60
    Super Member JulieR's Avatar
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    I'm really sorry he hurt your feelings like that. Without getting into any family dynamics or potential health issues, your dad was, in a word, WRONG.

    Before I read your post I had already scrolled down to the pic and fallen in love with your quilt. If you don't mind I'd love to make one myself for next year's fourth!

  11. #61
    Super Member SandyinZ4's Avatar
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    Can't say much more than what everyone else said so I will just second everyone's thoughts. I think you did a wonderful job and I really think it is patriotic. I especially like the repeat of the flag fabric. When a few days have passed, I think I would ask him if he cared if you gave it to the local VA (or similar) since he does not want it. I wouldn't bother with giving him the hanging stuff. One thing about hurts- they eventually heal and like the song says, forgiving is easy but forgetting takes a long, long time.

  12. #62
    Super Member JulieR's Avatar
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    LOL It's funny, I just visited one of my friends on FB and her new status is, "There's just no accounting for taste." How appropriate for this thread! HUGS!!

  13. #63
    Super Member seamstome's Avatar
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    I feel bad for you and I am teared up because you tried so hard. Sound like your hubby is a good man and I am glad you found him

    Here's what I know about fathers....mine is great.

    He is little man, only 5'3' who had polio as a child and NEVER could do the normal dad things because of physical problems. He worked every day at menial jobs for low pay until he was 70 without complaining about what had to be daily pain. He was even tempered with us and always proud of us. He was the "go to" parent in the neighborhood when us kids or our friends got in a jam. He would help you out, teach you a lesson and never taddle to the other parents.

    He did not become a dad until much later in life but when he was younger he played dad to all of his nieces and nephews when his able-bodied brothers and sisters had no time for their children. I have been told by all of my older cousins that he was as close to a "dad" as they ever had.

    He is getting up there now, 83, and with his disabilities he will not be with us long but tomorrow, he will receive calls and gifts from his kids but I bet at least a half dozen of my cousins will stop by or call. They stop by his home all the time, traveling hours to see him and do things for him that they do not do for their own fathers. I know they all wish that he was THEIR dad and are happy that he was in their lives.

    This is your father's loss not yours.

  14. #64
    Super Member I go To The Sea To Breathe's Avatar
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    I think it hurts twice as bad when it comes from a parent. My Dad after my mother died, i stayed 2 weeks, we were close each cried when I had to come home. Very sad. I started sending him emails and insprirational things about , how to keep going, etc. He emailed me and told me not to send him anymore sad things, next I sent jokes and funny things, he said don't bother sending them I don't read them, next I sent family going ons, you got it. He did not want to hear about everyones problems. I love my Dad very much and will go see him this summer, but I had to learn that not all of us look at life the same way.

  15. #65
    a regular here MegsAnn's Avatar
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    Aw man! I'm so sorry your dad was a (insert nasty word here) about this. Your work is beautiful. Take your hubby's words as truth, and your father's as crazy.

  16. #66
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry you had that experience. I LOVE it. You did a beautiful job on it...Don't be sad :-( ....Some people just don't know how to be gracious.... :thumbup: :thumbup:

  17. #67
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    It's beautiful !!! I love it!!! Wish my first quilt was that good :lol:

  18. #68
    Super Member beachlady's Avatar
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    That is so sad. I can see my Dad doing that at some point, but I would stick up for myself and he finally treated me like an adult. My Dad lived me for the last 7 years of his life (He was 85 and died at 92) - there were times he would make me cry and I would take the dogs for a walk and sit on the beach and cry!!! When I would finally go home and he would apologize. Things got better as we got used to each other and I miss him so much!
    I really like you wall hanging and think it looks very patriotic. Love red, white and blue.
    I agree with others - go back and get it and give it to a charity.
    (I hooked my Mom a rug once (hated hooking) and she gave it to her dog for his bed!!!! I was so hurt, but now laugh about it!)

  19. #69
    Super Member nursie76's Avatar
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    I am so sorry you had to endure such hurt.
    You have every right to be proud of your quilt! It is lovely, the work is right on and it is 110% patriotic!

    I am just speechless at your dads reaction, but it is his loss. You are a wonderful thoughtful daughter and desire a lot of credit for doing such a thoughtful thing.

    My hubby is a vet and he thinks this is very patriotic and nice.

    {{{HUGS}}}

  20. #70
    Super Member wesing's Avatar
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    Kimberlie -

    I hate that your hard work was not appreciated. If it's any comfort, my wife and I both love the quilt and think you did a great job on it. Maybe you should ask for the quilt back so you can donate it to QOV? At least that way someone would appreciate your hard work. Also I know who would NOT get another quilt from me. Try not to be discouraged or take it personally. I'm glad you posted so the rest of us can enjoy your work and offer a word of encouragement.

    Keep Quilting

    Darren

  21. #71
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    I'm so sorry. I understand how much that hurt.
    When I read your post to my hubby he said:
    "I'm 57 years old and a retired vet. I would be honored if someone made something like that for me."

  22. #72
    Google Goddess craftybear's Avatar
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    sorry to hear that your dad didn't like, I loved it, the next time you are there see if you can find it

  23. #73
    DJ
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    Sorry, I haven't read all the resposes, but I just have to let you know that you gave one of the most thoughtful and beautiful gifts I can imagine. It's heartbreaking to hear about parents be so thoughtless!

  24. #74
    Super Member kwiltkrazy's Avatar
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    That's devastating! I don't see how you could get any more patriotic than that wall hanging. It reminds me of the American flag, what represents us more tan that. The quilt is outstanding. There is nothing wrong with the quilt, therefore it must be him.

  25. #75
    Super Member IrishNY's Avatar
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    My heart aches for you. We never outgrow the need to get approval from our parents, even though we should. Please keep in mind that you did the right thing by making it. He did the wrong thing by being so hurtful. You can't control his behavior, only yours.

    I would certainly give him a call when your daughters aren't around and read him a riot act. You deserve more respect than that and he is obligated to give it to you as another human being. He needs to be told that.

    I too would wonder about his health. When older people say mean things that are out of character, it often means a medical problem.

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