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Thread: I'm upset...he didn't like it

  1. #1
    Senior Member taiboo's Avatar
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    This is the first time i have EVER finished a quilt (well this is a wall-hanger), but still, This is the first time i EVER machine quilted and the first time EVER i did binding...I made this for my father for Father's day and gave it to him today. I wanted him to be the first person to ever receive one from me

    He flat out told me he didn't really like it, it didn't look patriotic enough for him and actually asked why i would make him something like that...He hurt my feelings sooo bad. I didn't bring it home, i left it at his house...but i know he will never hang it. The VERY first thing ever i made and gave as a gift and it was rejected (by my father no less).

    I understand that not everyone has the same taste - but really???? I'm just shocked.

    Thanks for listening :-(
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  2. #2
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    hurts when that happens ;-( {{hugs}}

    I think it is lovely.

  3. #3

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    Love the gift. Just beautiful.

  4. #4
    Senior Member taiboo's Avatar
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    I know it's not perfect, but I MADE it for him....I didn't even get a thank you :-( he just folded it and put it aside.

  5. #5
    Super Member SaraSewing's Avatar
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    I am thrilled to get anything from my kids, especially handmade with this much work. I think it's lovely and you can rest asured that although likes are different, you did a good job, and were very thoughtful.

  6. #6
    saf45's Avatar
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    so sorry for your hurt,your quilt is beautiful.lots of hugs

  7. #7
    Moderator sharon b's Avatar
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    I am speechless for more than one reason :shock:

    Looks great to me :thumbup: So sorry he hurt your feelings like that {{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  8. #8
    Senior Member taiboo's Avatar
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    I appreciate everyone's comments...I'm just venting...It really just struck a nerve today :-(

  9. #9
    Power Poster Rhonda's Avatar
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    Sooo sorry. I understand completely. My mom is like that. I made her a small embroidered flower years ago and she took it and stored it away without any comments other than to say you should have done this and you should have done that to make it better.

    Yes it hurts and I hurt for you! But remember he does love you just probably not good at showing it.


    BTW I think it is lovely and very patriotic!!

  10. #10
    Super Member pittsburgpam's Avatar
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    I personally think it IS patriotic and it's beautiful! I don't know how it could be any more patriotic, really. I know how much it hurts to have a gift rejected, whether you made it or not.

    Is he usually like this? If he is, there are some people who are tackless and unfeeling. Honey, now you know not to make something for him again and it's too bad that it's your father.

    Chalk it up to experience and know that there are hundreds of us right here on this board who would be grateful and proudly display your work in our homes. {{{hugs}}}

  11. #11
    Super Member woody's Avatar
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    I'm sooo sorry that he didn't like it. I think it's gorgeous and you have done a fantastic job. You should be very proud of all your hard work and all the "firsts" you have achieved with this quilt. I hope that you will continue quilting as you seem to have a real talent for it.

  12. #12
    Super Member Maride's Avatar
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    I know the feeling. A quilt I made my MIL is used to control the air drafts over the AC. I just took it back, and nothing else was said about it. Some people just don't appreciate manual work. It hurts more that it was your father, and nothing is going to make you feel better right now, but you put it aside later and go on. Don't let this change how much you enjoy quilting. You like it and that is all that matters. I think your quilt is just beautiful. You should see some of my early work...maybe not.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Ok Darla's Avatar
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    I feel for you. All that work. I made a quilt for my monster in law, she looked at it and told me to take it home. I made a double wedding ring for my brothers wedding. A year later I was visiting them and the Mrs was using it as a dog blanket. Don't let it bother you. The quilt is wonderful.

  14. #14
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    i'd be shocked, too.

    go back and get it. give it to somebody who will appreciate it.

    even fathers make mistakes. this one was a doozy.

  15. #15
    Super Member Boston1954's Avatar
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    Go back and get it and keep it for yourself. My parents raised me to say a gracious thank you for anything and not hurt people.

  16. #16
    Power Poster SulaBug's Avatar
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    What a shame he had to treat your wonderful gift like that!! :(
    I know it hurts a lot, but we must remember that not everyone can graciously accept gifts!! I am so sorry, for your hurting heart!! Try to think positive thoughts & get through the weekend. We are all thinking of you!!
    :D :D :D :D

  17. #17
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    So sorry he hurt your feelings.
    {{{{hugs}}}}
    Many of us have been through that. I made a wall hanging/table runner for my DD and SIL for Christmas and knew the minute they opened it and just had a look of wonder that they didn't really like it. They took it home and it still sits, folded, on an end table under a bunch of other 'stuff'.

    I think you did an awesome job! It's beautiful!

    Don't let it hinder your future quilt making! You do good work!

  18. #18
    Senior Member beckyw's Avatar
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    Sorry you got hurt by your dad. My husband is the same way . If he doesn't like s gift he will tell the kids he doesn't like it. He will tell me or anybody else also. Hard to live with.

  19. #19
    Super Member MaryStoaks's Avatar
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    How old is your father? Has he seen a doctor lately? Maybe he's not well?

  20. #20
    Senior Member taiboo's Avatar
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    My husband felt REALLY bad about it and loved it and today asked me if tomorrow he could go to my local LQS and buy me the accu-go that i have been waiting for July to get in order to receive my bday discount my lqs offers...LOL...I had to fess up that i already bought it online for almost $100 cheaper LOL and it will be here on Tues. OPPPS

  21. #21
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    (((HUGS))) I am so sorry that he hurt your feelings like this (((HUGS)))
    I think your quilt is beautiful and that you did a wonderful job on it!!!

  22. #22
    Senior Member taiboo's Avatar
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    LOL, he is 72 (will be in august) and this is just how he is, but he has never been that way with me.

    Quote Originally Posted by MaryStoaks
    How old is your father? Has he seen a doctor lately? Maybe he's not well?

  23. #23
    Super Member Toto's Mom's Avatar
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    I am SO sorry............. for many years, I got the same reaction from my Dad for everything I ever did. I KNOW how it hurts, when you try so hard to do something you think they will like.
    One year, I had made my Dad a lovely soft tailored woolen flannel shirt, and had even hand monogrammed it for him.
    When he opened my present, and asked " What the %@)) am I supposed to do with THIS?" Instead of being hurt, that one time, I finally told him..........."You're supposed to wear it, and if you make ONE more ugly hurtful comment to me, I WILL tell you WHERE you can wear it!".
    That ended it, and he has been decent to me ever since. For the first 45 years of my life, I can't recall ONE thing I ever did that suited him, though.
    Here's ((((HUGS))))((((HUGS))))((((HUGS)))) for you, and just don't feel so alone.
    You did a beautiful job on this, and you put your heart into it for him.

  24. #24
    Junior Member Elizabeth-Liz's Avatar
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    I think it is just beautiful. It is his lose. I don't know how my dad would be, so I just don't make anything for him. My Mom in supportive and loves anything I do. And if it gets used for other than being pretty and to show off, I agree that it needs to be used for other reasons. Keep your chin up and know you did a great job.

  25. #25
    Super Member Barb_MO's Avatar
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    Sorry your feeling was hurt by your father's words and actions. Hugs to you for thinking of your father and wanting to do something nice for him. Hope you will continue on with your quilting. You did a good job with all the firsts....now that you have mastered those firsts, go on and make something very pretty just for yourself to enjoy.

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