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Thread: I'm upset...he didn't like it

  1. #76
    Super Member kwhite's Avatar
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    I am sooo sorry you had this experience. I will not make excuses for him. Old, sick, thoughtless. I don't care the situation. Mean is mean and that was mean. Your gift is beautiful and you deserve to be appreciated. you are here.

  2. #77
    Super Member Margie's Avatar
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    I think it is lovely and very patriotic. I am so sorry your father had that reaction. There is no way to explain people's reactions. xoxoxoxo HUGS

    Margie

  3. #78
    Junior Member mom2boys's Avatar
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    So Sorry I know how it feels. I think your wall hanging looks great!

  4. #79

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    I looked at your quilt before I read your post. My first thought was how "American" it is. In Australia we are just becoming more patriotic, I would love to see more of it.
    I am so sorry about your father, I think that people do not realise the amount of thought and work goes into making any sized quilt. {{{{{Hugs}}}}

  5. #80
    Senior Member PamS's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry your father did not appreciate all the hard work and thought you put into your work of art. I think it's VERY patriotic - - - I'd love to have it (can I be your pretend female father???)

  6. #81
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    Aw, I think its a great quilt, and VERY patriotic!

  7. #82
    Super Member Theresa's Avatar
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    Maybe your Dad will take the time to think about what he said to you and take some of his words back. It's important for you to know your gift was made in a loving way and no matter what he said he cannot take your intent away from you. I really hope you hear from him.

  8. #83
    Super Member Lisanne's Avatar
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    I loved it when I saw it. You did a beautiful job!

    That said, I'm wondering if your father had specifically asked for a patriotic quilt or wall hanging? If so, then while it was still rude of him not to appreciate your effort and the beauty of the quilt as it is, I guess I'd say he was right to be honest about it.

    It does look more like a quilt pattern than a patriotic wall hanging, IMO, even with the flag border. With his "guy's eye," that might be all he sees.

    The object of giving a gift is to please the recipient, so if you still want to give him something that will he will be pleased with, get his input when planning the next item. Choose something that takes less effort, since he doesn't appreciate the intricacy you put into this one.

    And then we all expect you to finish something else - for yourself!

  9. #84
    Senior Member cimarron's Avatar
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    ...I really hope this helps...
    My natural father does not always "get it" either. I know how that hurts! Here is what helps me...I turn over those hurts to my "other" Father...the BIG daddy. He saves our every tear. It helps me.
    He did see all the thought and love you put into your beautiful work. He has no fear of expressing His love lavishly! He even goes so far as to dance over you in delight. Remember HE IS rejoicing over your creation...He really, really loves creative efforts - kinda His specialty! LOL!

  10. #85
    Super Member C.Cal Quilt Girl's Avatar
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    {{{ Big Hug }}} Not much fun when that's the reaction. But you love'en any way cause thier yours. :)

  11. #86
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    I am so sorry, I know firsthand how much it hurts. And to have your father say it of all people! I have come to realize that those who do not participate in making handcrafted items really don't appreciate the hard work, the hours spent, the cost of materials, and love that goes into them. It's so easy to walk into a store and buy something off a shelf and not think about how and where it was made that handcrafted items go right over their heads! The quilt is beautiful, very patriotic and I can say I'd be proud to hang it on my wall.
    You picked a great place to vent--we can all feel your pain!

  12. #87
    Senior Member Katia's Avatar
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    Wow, just wow. Sorry, but I just do not think there is any excuse what so ever for that kind of behavior. I have had similar happen and it was the last gift they ever got from me. No one, not even a father has the right to behave that way.
    In my family it did not matter what you were given, you were grateful. If you honestly did not like it, the giver never knew. My family has a lot of gifted artists and craftsmen in it and I think that comes from the appreciation we got from each other.
    The last few Christmas's my kids and us (mom and Dad) have made a pact to only give handmade gifts for the big gifts. Either something we make ourselves or buy from a crafts person. We do not do it to save money, we do it to make Christmas more special. To give a part of yourself is the greatest gift anyone can ever give.

  13. #88
    Super Member deedum's Avatar
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    Agreed, I would bring him a box of choc covered cherries instead and bring your project home! I think you did an outstanding job on it, don't let this upset you anymore! Don't spend good energy on it!

  14. #89
    Super Member NikkiLu's Avatar
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    I LOVE it - who knows why he said that. Please don't let that bother you anymore. Just go on and make those very nice quilts/wall hangings!

  15. #90
    Super Member charismah's Avatar
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    I am so sorry...my mom did the same thing to me one time..so I know how horrible it is and all I can say is that I think your quilt is lovely.

  16. #91
    Senior Member All Thumbs's Avatar
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    Oh No! Everyone here has said all that would come out of my mouth so I will not repeat other than to say, please do not let this unfortunate happening discourage you from keeping the art of quilting alive and well. You have talent, especially since you said this was the first in many instances. Keep up the beautiful workmanship!

  17. #92
    Super Member walen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by All Thumbs
    Oh No! Everyone here has said all that would come out of my mouth so I will not repeat other than to say, please do not let this unfortunate happening discourage you from keeping the art of quilting alive and well. You have talent, especially since you said this was the first in many instances. Keep up the beautiful workmanship!
    I agree. I know this doesn't help you with your dad, but mine acted like this with everything that I gave him right up to the day he died. I never gave him a single thing that he liked, but I kept trying. Keep your chin up and your head held high!

  18. #93
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    I will apologize for him. Some people don't realize how badly their words will hurt others. I love your quilt. You did a wonderful job.

  19. #94
    Power Poster dkabasketlady's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry that your Father didn't like his patriotic wall hanging you made just for him for Father's Day no less. Thankfully I haven't been in that situation yet, but I do know my day will come!!
    My DGM always told me that if you don't have something good to say then don't say anything at all!! I've always tried to live that way. Too bad he wasn't brought up that way.
    Keep your chin up and go get that wall hanging back and sent it to Charlee's DH!!!!

  20. #95
    crawford1219's Avatar
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    I love it! I would love a gift like that-maybe he just doesn't truly understand how much work and effort and love you put into the project and if he did understand maybe he would have reacted differently.

  21. #96
    Senior Member Born2Sew's Avatar
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    Just wanted to say that your quilt is just beautiful. Great work, and you should be proud of it. Sorry that Pop didn't like it, it is his loss. Remember that you gave him a lovely gift, you are not at fault in any way. Don't let it stop you from moving forward with other projects. Perhaps he is the type that can't show anyone approval. Some "old goats" are like that.

  22. #97
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    It is a beautiful quilt, it has nothing to do with you, its all about him. Some people don't know how to accept gifts. Bring the quilt home.

  23. #98
    Kas
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    Super Member Kas's Avatar
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    Your wall hanging is great! Take it back. Expain that he hurt your feelings, but you love him anyway. I mean, Dang! If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. How about a nice thank you and leave it at that. Weren't they the ones supposed to teach us the manners? My dad got very mean as he got old. My feelings are still hurt by some of the things he said, but I can't discuss it with him because he died last summer. So, stinker or not, at least you still have him.

    And if I came over to someones' house and saw the dog on the double wedding ring I made (very hard quilt) I would have to take it home. Save it for the grandkids or something. Again, Dang!

  24. #99
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    gosh I am so sorry this happened to you. It is a beautiful quilt! This is another reason I wont make quilts for my family.

  25. #100
    Super Member candi's Avatar
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    I felt your pain just reading your post and my heart goes out to you. I could never imagine getting a rejection like that from someone as close to me as a parent. I am so sorry he didn't appreciate the effort and gesture after you tried so hard and gave him your very first quilt, which looks great and very patriotic to me.

    Blame it on "old" age and keep quilting. At least you have a supportive hubby and an accuquilt :)

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