I'm upset...he didn't like it
#161
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 3,422
OUCH!
Some men just don't have a clue. I remember the first afghan I made for my father. He liked it, but said it wasn't warm. Then I made a ceramic doll and he said, "it looks dead". My mother just looked at him and said, "STUPID". What's
so strange is, he was always bragging to other people about things I made and was more than willing to show them off!
I don't think he meant to hurt your feelings, sometimes men just don't think. I bet within a few days, you'll hear how much he really likes it.
T, your work is absolutely lovely!
Some men just don't have a clue. I remember the first afghan I made for my father. He liked it, but said it wasn't warm. Then I made a ceramic doll and he said, "it looks dead". My mother just looked at him and said, "STUPID". What's
so strange is, he was always bragging to other people about things I made and was more than willing to show them off!
I don't think he meant to hurt your feelings, sometimes men just don't think. I bet within a few days, you'll hear how much he really likes it.
T, your work is absolutely lovely!
#162
You did a great job, it's beautiful, be proud of your work.
Rejection in any shape or form is hard to take, especially from one who's supposed to love & support you.
We (quilters) understand & appreciate your effort.
You were generous, he was not.
Rejection in any shape or form is hard to take, especially from one who's supposed to love & support you.
We (quilters) understand & appreciate your effort.
You were generous, he was not.
#163
#164
Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Camarillo, California
Posts: 35,242
It's beautiful. I am sorry he didn't like it. My mother has told me several times not to make her a quilt. She does not understand why I would cut up fabrics and sew them back together when I could just go to JC Penny's and buy a "quilt" for a lot less money.
#165
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Mason, Ohio
Posts: 1,465
I think your wallhanging is fantastic. My husband is a veteran and he would be tickled with it.
What you are feeling is a rejection of a gift of time and love (neither is a renewable resource). I imagine your father felt he was "just" commenting on how the item appealed to him at that moment. Sometimes men lack tact, whether they are fathers, husbands, sons, or just men. They tend to say what pops into their brains.
I hope you are able to feel good that you gave a gift that reflected your love; what the receiver does is out of your control.
What you are feeling is a rejection of a gift of time and love (neither is a renewable resource). I imagine your father felt he was "just" commenting on how the item appealed to him at that moment. Sometimes men lack tact, whether they are fathers, husbands, sons, or just men. They tend to say what pops into their brains.
I hope you are able to feel good that you gave a gift that reflected your love; what the receiver does is out of your control.
#166
I am soooooo sorry that your father did not appreciate your beautiful, thoughtful gift.
It makes me question (like others) if everything is "right" in his brain.
I always worry whether my gifts will be truly appreciated, too. We spend so much time and energy to make these special quilts and always help that the receiver recognizes this.
Sending many hugs----
I just hope that our comments and support will help you feel better. Can't get it out of my mind, even, his reaction was just inexcuseable!! :evil:
It makes me question (like others) if everything is "right" in his brain.
I always worry whether my gifts will be truly appreciated, too. We spend so much time and energy to make these special quilts and always help that the receiver recognizes this.
Sending many hugs----
I just hope that our comments and support will help you feel better. Can't get it out of my mind, even, his reaction was just inexcuseable!! :evil:
#167
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: AZ and CT
Posts: 4,898
I, too, would be delighted to have your quilt in my home - especially on July 4th.
If this is unusual behavior by your father, it may signal a problem with his health.
My Mom was always a sweet person. One day she got really angry with me and asked me to leave her house, because 'You're making too much noise.' I was shocked. We had been sharing her sewing room when I was in Tucson for the winter for YEARS. Less than a year later, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Anger is one of the many signs. I know you are heartbroken. I was that day. It helped a little to know the cause - even though the diagnosis was not something I wanted to hear. At the very least, I knew her strange behavior didn't mean she didn't love me.
If this is unusual behavior by your father, it may signal a problem with his health.
My Mom was always a sweet person. One day she got really angry with me and asked me to leave her house, because 'You're making too much noise.' I was shocked. We had been sharing her sewing room when I was in Tucson for the winter for YEARS. Less than a year later, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Anger is one of the many signs. I know you are heartbroken. I was that day. It helped a little to know the cause - even though the diagnosis was not something I wanted to hear. At the very least, I knew her strange behavior didn't mean she didn't love me.
#168
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Livonia, New York
Posts: 167
OMG....MEN!!Something must be medically wrong. Forgive him and try to get your quilt back. I bet he will change his mind. Hugs.....
#169
I'm shocked! It's beautiful! Don't be discouraged...but if he truly doesn't like it feel free to steal it back when he's not looking and send it to me :)
#170
I don't think it's so much a men vs. women thing, as it is a just not thinking thing. Insensitivity really knows no gender. I gave my mother a quilt for her birthday last year and her comment was something like "Oh. That's pretty." And that was pretty much it. I gave her and my father a quilt for Christmas and when we went there on Christmas day she didn't say a word about it. In subsequent visits, I haven't seen either quilt, so they're probably in a closet somewhere. I just make the mental note that I won't be making them any more quilts and remind myself that this is pretty much what I should have expected.
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