lilpoohbearie

I have to agree if my kids friends are in my home they follow my rules. You are awesome to give your sons friend a taste of what a real home is. Give him boundries he is craving them. Keep up the good work you will be rewarded for it!

granniebj

Too bad we can't pick our kids friends, but we really can't. Everyone gave really good advice. Patience really is a virture.

Connie

My three sons had friends that were the same. I was known as the "mean mom" of the neighborhood. My youngest is now mid-30 and his friends ask me to help with their disruptive children. They even introduce me to their friends as their second mom. It does make me feel good to know that "my house..my rules" taught them the respect they weren't taught at home.

Marlys

I had the reputation as "the meanest mom in town". But guess where all of the neighborhood kids came to play!!! I had rules and they were followed by everyone. If someone didn't follow the rules and nobody told me, they all got in trouble. Guilty by association. So they learned to police themselves. As my kids got into High School my house continued to be the gathering place. I think the kids (and their parents) knew that it would be a safe place (no drugs or alcohol and lots of supervision). Now that my youngest is leaving, there are younger kids wondering where they will go for "after prom parties" because we have had them here for 8 years! By the way, we do not have a big house. The room they gathered in is about 10 x 15 and there would be 20 - 25 kids playing board games or watching movies. I am not a perfect parent, but I encourage you to continue having his friend over but make sure he follows the same rules your own child has to follow!

Roberta

As hard as it is at times to be nice to a child like this, he will grow up and so appreciate the time he spent with you. Don't worry about your son picking up his bad habits. It's more likely this child will learn from you and your son how to act in society. I love my dogs too but never more then my children although they would disagree when they were younger.

Mickie612

Your story reminded me of a girl my youngest daughter brought home. She was very different but after seeing her father in his lounge chair hiding his beer at a little league ballgame. I understood a little better. We just welcomed her and treated her like our three. Years later she called me for some recipes because my house always "smelled" like a home. I think sometimes we don't know what an influence we can have.

MadQuilter

You can't expect the child to understand the rules immediately - particularly if he is not used to having any or having to follow any rules elsewhere in his life. What you can expect is that he will learn to adjust certain behaviors IF he wants to play at your house. You may need to add a little extra patience for this one, but you can make it worth his while by providing a structured environment that is real and safe for him. Don't give up on him yet - he sounds like a smart kid. Let him make the right decisions.

Ramona Byrd

My own kids had friends like this, especially youngest son.
Like the others said, I treated them just like my own. Turned
out that they actually LIKED to clean and cook yummies and
walk the dogs. Their mothers smugly announced that their
houses were always clean...of course they were. Their kids
were always at MY house, and I got to know those marvelous
young men better than their parents did. Even now, in their 40s,
large men will grab me and hug me and ask about all the family,
tell me about their own kids, all the while their wives stand by, tapping their feet!!

HA to them!! I LIKED them and still do.

IBQUILTIN

you may want to start a sentence with something like ---- "When you are with (your son's name), the rules may be a little different than when you are home. I hope you can adjust to our way of doing ( whatever it is)

OHSue

My son has had a few friends like this, but the case for the only child would be the opposite. My son is an only and we hold him to a pretty high standard for manners and proper behaviours. I can't say we ever really sat down to tell him you should do this or that, we just sort of taught him by observing us. When he has had friends who are rude or misbehave a lot, he seems to lose interest in having these kids for friends.
I would scold a kid who misbehaved or was rude at my house. If the kid told his parents and they complain, no problem, your kid can stay away if he doesn't like it here.