Quilt as a Gift
#121
This is slightly off-topic, but I think people just don't say Thank You anymore. Over the past 3 years or so i can count on one hand the number of thank you's (verbal or cards) that I have received from weddings, showers, graduations, etc. I took photographs for a friends wedding, developed them, made an album, etc. I spent a bunch of money and time on them, didn't charge anything and didn't get a thank you. I don't think it is so much of a reflection of lack of appreciation as it as a lack of ettiquette. I am lucky, I guess. I have made quilts for most of the grandkids and their purpose was to be drug around and loved on. Didn't expect thank yous. I have made quilts for 2 of the adult daughters and both of them do appreciate the quilts. My mom loved hers and raves about it constantly. However, I have only made two for outside the family and, you guessed it, no thank you email, phone call, card, carrier pigeon, smoke signal. Sigh. I feel your pain, but don't give up. You love making them and someday the light will go on and they will realize what a treasure you gave them. (((Hugs))))
#122
Reading the responses makes me think of the book The Five Love Languages. Some people speak love through giving gifts. For others, recieving them isn't a big thing. I know I fall into the latter catergory. To me, as a quilter, the gift I would notice and love would be the time put into the quilt, not the quilt itself. But I am a quilter, and I know how much work goes into one. I guess some people just don't appreciate recieving or sending gifts, and that is really ok. Unless the person specifically asked for one, I wouldn't be hurt by a lack of reception. Just know you sent it from your heart, and you really may never know just how appreciated it is.
#123
Originally Posted by gingerella
It's worse when it's your daughter. I promised myself no more quilts for her - I find them on the floor- being walked on, hanging up to cover the window when the room was being painted, etc.
But then, last year she asked me for one I was making and I can't refuse. So yes, she has two more. At least I find them (or one of them) on her bed once in a while.
But then, last year she asked me for one I was making and I can't refuse. So yes, she has two more. At least I find them (or one of them) on her bed once in a while.
Another special thanks is when the grandkids come to spend the night carrying their much loved/worn quilts that Mimi made (or when I see their quilt tossed on the floor next to a pillow -- I know they've been taking a nap with it.).
#124
I take a piece of plain fabric like muslin, iron it to freezer paper, write using a fine point permanent marker like Sharpie ultra fine. I include the name of the recipient, date, occasion, my name as the quilter. Sometimes I just put the name of the pattern, date completed (month and year at least) and my name. My first machine quilted quilt with feathers has a label that reads "First Feathers" the date & my name. Years from now I have a record of when I started doing feathers and I'll see my progress. I set this label in a corner on the backside of the quilt before I complete the binding. Tear off the freezer paper, Turn under two edges and applique then finish the binding over the other two edges. I wish I had done this from the start. I have quilts I made probably 20 or so years ago but I don't know for sure because I didn't label them.
Hope this helps explain it.
Hope this helps explain it.
#125
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Forest Grove,OR
Posts: 6,400
Originally Posted by nantucketsue
Well I made one for my son and DIL for their wedding. I was asked to make a contemporary quilt with an autumn theme. It took me forever as it was all handquilted. My son appreciated the work that went into it but I wonder if they really liked it because it has never been seen since. I am now working on a wedding quilt for my other son and his wife, but I am worried that they will not like it and the same will happen. Here is a (not very good) photo of the first quilt, which granted is more a wall hanging than a bed quilt, but they did want contemporary.
#126
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Louisville, Kentucky
Posts: 1,915
My friend made a baby quilt several years ago and when she went to see the baby..... it was being used as a doggie blanket..... she is an excellent quilter and was really hurt. I agree, most people do not realize the time and cost of making a quilt....that is also true of any hand made gift.... sad but true
#127
Originally Posted by IrishNY
Two things stand out from this thread to me
1. the comment that the giver assumes the recipient is so overwhelmed with joy that they are speechless and that explains why they don't say thank you. What a perfect way to re-frame the event so you aren't disappointed!
2. the person who posted that she just does Quilts for Kids now. The kids that get them don't thank us for making them and we just assume they love them. Maybe they don't but we don't know. Maybe we need to work on assuming the quilts gifted to those we know are loved even if we don't hear thanks.
1. the comment that the giver assumes the recipient is so overwhelmed with joy that they are speechless and that explains why they don't say thank you. What a perfect way to re-frame the event so you aren't disappointed!
2. the person who posted that she just does Quilts for Kids now. The kids that get them don't thank us for making them and we just assume they love them. Maybe they don't but we don't know. Maybe we need to work on assuming the quilts gifted to those we know are loved even if we don't hear thanks.
Most of the ladies I know who are machine quilters and have overwhelmed their families with too many quilts now only give them quilts for very special occasions and the rest are now being made for charity use which allows them to be as prolific as they wish with the knowledge that their quilts are loved, used, and cherished. Yes, they do feel hurt and disappointment when their family members say "no more quilts as you've made me enough already."
#128
Originally Posted by Magoo
I agree with hazeljane. Once the quilt leaves my house its gone in every respect. Have no expectations from recipients. Even if my quilts are walked on, etc., they are being used and this makes me happy. I hope it doesn't sound like bragging, but everyone to whom I have given a quilt seemed genuinely happy to receive it.
#129
Originally Posted by eleu16
People who don't do creative things with their own hands usually have no idea how much work, how many thoughts and how much love is in something handcrafted :cry:
if they need a gift they go in a shop and buy something expensive and maybe ugly and useless.
What I learned I never give something handcrafted to this people. But as always there are exceptions...and for those people it is a joy to give e.g. a quilt.
if they need a gift they go in a shop and buy something expensive and maybe ugly and useless.
What I learned I never give something handcrafted to this people. But as always there are exceptions...and for those people it is a joy to give e.g. a quilt.
#130
Originally Posted by baglady65
Well my grand Daughter knew I was making her a quilt for her B-day, she even picked the colors! Her B-day was on Christmas too! Well with all the holday stuff going on I didn't get it done in time so she got a iou and in a few weeks after I had it ready for her! Her comment was " Its about time you got this done" No I love it or thanks! I think she was 8 at the time!
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