Originally Posted by noveltyjunkie

This is a fascinating thread for me because we don't have baby showers. They don't exist in my culture. So I am already thinking that hosting a party for the sole purpose of receiving gifts for a baby that you don't even get to see yet, and inviting some fairly distant connections (sorry) and then telling them your 'theme' (we don't do that either).... Well, I am already thinking THAT is odd, so I have to work against that to give a view on a situation which I know is in fact quite normal in other places.

But I do think that someone who has a 'theme' for a baby is perhaps less likely to appreciate handmade. In the unlikely event of my ever being invited to such a party, I would not have been changing the design of my already started, precious, made with
love, quilt, I would have been keeping it for someone who would appreciate it and making a stuffed monkey instead.

As to what happened, this woman's husband called your precious work 'another blanket'. This tells us that this man forgot his manners in a big way. We also don't have the culture of opening gifts in front of people, or at least not in front of people other than the person who gave it to you. A gift represents a personal, even intimate, interaction and to have it dealt with in public always risks offense, as your situation demonstrates very well.

If I was the expectant mother, I would be totally overwhelmed in
this situation. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that I would be crying in my room, for all sorts of reasons. She is hormonal, on show, and being showered with gifts that her husband is not even letting her see properly as he jumps up and down on this box you mention- meanwhile she is facing worries about her unborn baby and the delivery. It sounds like hell on earth! How will she even know who gave what?!

I think the expectant grandmother's reaction to that fleece has hurt you a lot too. Is this woman's child married to your child? Then she needs to treat you with respect, and she didn't. (Who made that fleece? Was it one of her buddies? )


Just call me Dr Phil..... but this is not about the quilt. Families are hard. I totally understand why you feel bad, but that shower sounds like a situation where there are lots of forces at play that really are not about the quilt, so try not to make it about you. I hope you have a good relationship with your son in law and maybe having good relations with all his extended family is just too much to hope for, through no fault of yours. It is what it is.

Originally Posted by dollycathy

The worst thing that ever happened to me like this is when a friend of mine was sick, I gave her a quilt made in her favourite colours to cheer her up, later on after she was better she told me that she didn't really like the quilt and hoped i didn't mind but she’d given it to the dog. Ah well at least he appreciated it he’s slept on it ever since maybe that’s who it was meant for all along.

Originally Posted by zoeytoo

Would this be a bad idea? Send a note saying something like "I just want to let you know that the best way to launder the quilt I made for your baby is_______. I'm glad I had the time to make it because it took _______days/weeks to complete and I wanted it to be special for that special baby. Once I learned you like the monkey theme I searched for just the right fabric and thought long and hard how to incorporate it into the quilt. I'm glad you liked it." Would that wake them up or just be too in their face?

In my family, my mom who never stands for disrespect would be quick to tell the recipient that they are darn lucky to get such a precious and expensive-to-make gift and too bad they do not know how to make one themselves or they would know it's a wonderful gift. And that would straighten them out without me being involved cause I couldn't stop her if
I tried (which I wouldn't).

I have to forgive people who hurt me because that is what God expects of me. And I think your quilt is one of the cutest I've ever seen. How did you quilt it? Was it stitch in the ditch or flip and sew?