I'm upset...he didn't like it
#321
I think that your work is atttractive and well executed and made with love and I am sorry that your Dad spoke to you in such a disrespectful way. I was also saddened to read in your update that you had not wanted to speak your mind to him because your children were with you. It could have been a good thing for them to see you be assertive and not to let him put you down like that, (but I don't mean to criticise, it is surely very very hard to stand up to someone when they hurt you like that, especially a parent.)
I am not from the US so to be honest I don't "get" this whole patriotic thing. I honestly do not understand how anyone could reject your beautiful work on the basis that it was "not patriotic enough for him".
To me, patriotism has really nothing to do with any flag. If he wants to show everyone how much he loves his country, how about being the sort of person whom a foreigner might meet and think "if all Americans are like that man, it must be a fine country!"
Hope I have not offended anyone, but that is what I think.
I am not from the US so to be honest I don't "get" this whole patriotic thing. I honestly do not understand how anyone could reject your beautiful work on the basis that it was "not patriotic enough for him".
To me, patriotism has really nothing to do with any flag. If he wants to show everyone how much he loves his country, how about being the sort of person whom a foreigner might meet and think "if all Americans are like that man, it must be a fine country!"
Hope I have not offended anyone, but that is what I think.
#322
That was a mean thing for him to say to you and you should let him know how bad his remarks hurt your feelings. I would not let hime get away with that. Tell him you love him and if you didn't, his words would not be as hurtful.Then perhaps he will think twice before speaking. You might want to go and pick up the quilt so it doesn't go in the trash. Don't make any more for him.
It is so hard when people criticize. He needs to learn sensitivity.
It is so hard when people criticize. He needs to learn sensitivity.
Originally Posted by taiboo
This is the first time i have EVER finished a quilt (well this is a wall-hanger), but still, This is the first time i EVER machine quilted and the first time EVER i did binding...I made this for my father for Father's day and gave it to him today. I wanted him to be the first person to ever receive one from me
He flat out told me he didn't really like it, it didn't look patriotic enough for him and actually asked why i would make him something like that...He hurt my feelings sooo bad. I didn't bring it home, i left it at his house...but i know he will never hang it. The VERY first thing ever i made and gave as a gift and it was rejected (by my father no less).
I understand that not everyone has the same taste - but really???? I'm just shocked.
Thanks for listening :-(
He flat out told me he didn't really like it, it didn't look patriotic enough for him and actually asked why i would make him something like that...He hurt my feelings sooo bad. I didn't bring it home, i left it at his house...but i know he will never hang it. The VERY first thing ever i made and gave as a gift and it was rejected (by my father no less).
I understand that not everyone has the same taste - but really???? I'm just shocked.
Thanks for listening :-(
#323
Nothing hurts more than rejection from a parent--whether it is a gift or your love being dismissed. My heart goes out to you! The quilt is beautiful and I'm sure most people would love and appreciate it! Your dad's loss!
#324
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Forest Grove,OR
Posts: 6,400
I am so sorry, your quilt is beautiful, and you did a fantastic job on the quilting and the binding. Some people just don't understand what work you put in to something. I know he hurt you bad, but don't let it leave a bad taste in your mouth. your work is to beautiful to set on a shelf, so don't make him any hand made gifts. Make them for everyone else, and keep on quilting. God bless. Penny
#325
Power Poster
Join Date: May 2008
Location: FL
Posts: 16,574
I am so sorry it wasn't appreciated. I think it looks great AND very patriotic!
At least YOU have good taste!
At least YOU have good taste!
#326
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Louisville CO
Posts: 7
I love the quilt you made for your father. It is very patriotic and I would hang it in my home any day! Please keep quilting -- you do a very nice job. We would love to see a picture of your next one. Hugs!
#327
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Louisville CO
Posts: 7
I love the quilt you made for your father. It is very patriotic and I would hang it in my home any day! Please keep quilting -- you do a very nice job. We would love to see a picture of your next one. Hugs!
#328
I wouldn't make excuses for your father's behavior--that is unless he has been diagnosed with Alzheimers.
You really need to tell him in a" matter of fact" way about your feelings when he said that, and therefore, since he does not like the quilt, you will be taking it home, perhaps donating it to the VA. Make sure you tell him it had been made with love. It is better to say this out loud than to carry bitter feelings around. Why let it eat you up? He may be surprised and hopefully will think before speaking harshly next time. You be the adult even if he is not acting that way.
You really need to tell him in a" matter of fact" way about your feelings when he said that, and therefore, since he does not like the quilt, you will be taking it home, perhaps donating it to the VA. Make sure you tell him it had been made with love. It is better to say this out loud than to carry bitter feelings around. Why let it eat you up? He may be surprised and hopefully will think before speaking harshly next time. You be the adult even if he is not acting that way.
#329
We have all had experiences with people that "don't get it", with people who hurt others with their words. My MIL was blunt, said unbelieveable things she felt she had the right to say because her opinion was the only one that mattered. She was good to us in many ways but could cut you at the knees with her tongue. Eventually I stopped seeing her but my children NEVER knew I had a problem with her. My daughter was shocked when, as an adult, I mentioned it to her. My feelings were, some people just don't understand other people, don't know how to love other people, but are still here for some reason. She was put here to teach me how NOT to be. My children have no idea we had any problems. They loved her. She NEEDED to be loved. I took my heart away from her and gave it to people who deserved to be loved. Because of her, I have my husband, who helped me create two beautiful children, who married two wonderful spouses, and who altogether gave me the most fabulous grandchildren a Grandma could have. Here is a hug and more for you.((((((hug))))))
#330
It's good to vent.............. sending you a hug.
If you ever get it back..... you could always send it to me.
Just - letting you know I think is is very nice and I would be proud to have it. he may change him mind.......
Don't let this stop you from making other quilts and giving them as gifts because there are lots of people who would be very glad to get a gift like that.
If you ever get it back..... you could always send it to me.
Just - letting you know I think is is very nice and I would be proud to have it. he may change him mind.......
Don't let this stop you from making other quilts and giving them as gifts because there are lots of people who would be very glad to get a gift like that.
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