Kas

My hubby is a keeper, too. He knows the value of a good tool and makes sure I have them. Of course, he kids me that my sewing machine cost more than all his saws and drills put together! He is probably right!

slk350

I've never had a problem with my husband, after all...I'm the Domestic Goddess !! I do alterations in my home, so I spend that on all my stuff...If he ever says anything, I tell him you smoke $40 + away in ciggaretts a week ! I could of got 2 Benz by now !!

goosepoint

I HEAR 'YA SISTER AND BACK YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY! WE ALL NEED HERO'S LIKE YOU TO RISE UP AND BE COUNTED.Somebody's moto that I saw the other day says " when my feet hit the floor in the morning I want the devil to say 'Oh No - She's Up'. I like that!

donac

I love to tell the story about a trip we were making one summer. We were driving through Kentucky and said I wanted to go to Paducha to the Quilt museum. Since I was navigating it was not a problem. When we got to the museum we all got out of the car (yes dh and two sons) and went to the museum. Dh impressed the ladies who were there about his knowledge of machine vs hand quilting. (Machine quilting was just coming into its own.) We spent a lovely morning in the museum.

to balance things we spent the afternoon at the corvette museum.

Dh has asked me thank maybe I should clean some out but at the same time he has told me that he was planning on cleaning some of his stuff out since the basement had too much stuff. He loves the stuff I do and has always been very supportive.

Sunnie

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

GiddyUpGo

I'm a stay at home mom, so I don't technically contribute financially, except that I do, since without me my husband would have to pay for daily child care for four kids. And let's not forget that most housekeepers, personal chefs, laundry services and taxi companies usually charge for their services. So yeah, if I want a new quilting book, I'm gonna buy it and I'm not going to ask permission first. Otherwise I might just start billing him by the hour, and let's face it, all that overtime won't come cheap!!

Willa

I think it was good to point out the equal toys idea but....
Abuse is abuse no matter who it comes from, male or female, and a fry pan could hurt as much if not more than a fist. I hope anyone in an abusive relationship can get out of it safely.
Are you sure your friend's husband wasn't just testing you? My husband used to do that all the time to new people. He would say crap he didn't really believe just to see how they would react and within 5 minutes could tell what kind of person they were( honestly his gift was very scary as he was usually correct). Some of my husbands best friends were the ones who "told him off". Sounds like your friend's husband found out you let people know where you stand and have good reasoning as you pointed out the toys.

As for a spouse "letting" the other spouse get something is not necessarily a control thing. As some have pointed out here many couples talk about purchases and make joint decisions. Remember just as he LETS her get her sewing item she might be LETTING him go play his golf. When the one LETS the other get something, to me, it just means that their significant other is thinking of their partner's needs or wants possibly above their own.
I guess there's usually more than one way of looking at things.

Flying_V_Goddess

In a way my boyfriend "lets" me buy fabrics because he's the one who's driving (I don't have a license). But when we're in the shop he doesn't tell me what I can and can't get. Its my money afterall. Heck he'll even help me pick fabrics occassionally ("what do you think of this one, honey?" I'll ask) and he'll ask me questions when I bring up some sort of quilting term he doesn't understand ("okay, what's a 'jellyroll?'"). The first time he took me to a quilt shop it was my birthday and he was paying for the fabric because I asked for quilting fabric for my birthday...I picked a few out, but started to put a couple away when I found they were real expensive. He asked me if I really liked them and I said, "Well, yeah. But they're expensive and I'm not really sure what to do with them". He said, "If you like them, go get them."

I think he understands what it takes to go into a quilt. During an arguement (not about quilting) I had blurted out I was making a quilt for him. Even told him he had picked out the green fabrics for his own quilt. Had told him I wanted to make a green quilt and needed a second opinion on picking fabrics (his favorite color is green). Later on he asked me, "You're really making a quilt for me?" and thought it was real sweet that I was going through the effort to make one for him. Then I told him "Would probably be easier just to buy you a new Xbox for Christmas, but I love you enough to make a quilt".

I think he got what I meant because the next thing he said was "My quilt costs as much as a new XBox?"
"Just about. Buying all those green fabrics at different prices and shipping rates adds up."

Gramof6

Well we had 4 great kids & I stayed at home to raise them. I loved that & so did DH. But it meant that he take a great paying job that often took him from home for weeks. Now that the kids are in their own homes, I really do not like DH's job but he really does love his work. Therfore he never says 1 word about anything I buy regarding my hobby. He loves to go to Quilt Shows with me and drives me batty asking if I am sure that I am getting enough of whatever. We combined 2 rooms to make 1 huge quilting room and he bought a LA to use. He is really an enabler & I have to stop buying until I stitch up some of this stash! And what did I do? Showed him some kits I liked and he ordered them for me. If he even thinks I like something, he will order it for me. Which I do appreciate. He has hobbies and I never say 1 neg. thing about it. I think we all need to do something enjoyable. If either of us want something costly, we do tell the other one about it and ask "Do you mind?" Of course neither has ever minded but just having the courtesy & showing respect makes all the difference. It is not really funny but he does know me well and it would not be good for our checkbook if he ever told me not to buy something. But if we could not afford it, I would never dream of doing it. We had a longgggg discussion on all of this before we married. And we have both kept our word about it. Respect and treat each other equal. After all, a spouse is the other 1/2 of that marriage. I agree with the original poster of this topic. We women rock! But so does my man.

fabric_fancy

good for you for sticking up to a man who abused you.