leiladylei54

I love Christmas which includes the Holiday baking and gift making. This year since we are planning to travel to Oregon to spend Christmas with our daughter and her little family, no Christmas decorations are displayed here in our house and I'm not in the Holiday mood. :( Hopefully it will all change the minute we arrive in Oregon.

quiltingfan

Merry Christmas everyone.
One year I realized that writing Christmas cards was making me depressed. It was not fun, did not enjoy it and hated every moment of it. We were in the mist of moving and I decided that I had had enough. Did not send them out and guess what? Nothing happened, nobody called and asked where there cards where, nobody was mad at me, and nobody even cared. That was the point where I decided that omethings are just not worth the hassle. Now I do what brings me and my family joy. My husband is having a ball decorating outside, it seems like everyday he brings home more stuff to put up and I let him. So what if our bill is sky high this month. He may not be around next Christmas ( he may be deployed, you never know) and that is what he enjoys. My girls love baking for there friends and teachers. They may mess up the kitchen more than I like but they are happy, so I let them. I am making mug rugs for all my neighbors and friends, I think my brother and his family are getting them also. Why stress over the perfect gift when there is no perfect gift. All about just a little something to say "that I am thinking of you. " My parents also for that matter. We are having a Christmas party after Christmas eve services, no idea how many people will come, will make what I make and if they leave hungry that is ok because they have food at home. They are here for the fellowship and to celebrate Jesus birth.
For those that the holidays make them sad, I pray that you will find a measure of peace to help you along the way. It would be great if there was such a thing as the "easy" button. That we could push to help through these times. May you find what makes YOU happy. It probably is not decorating, baking, shopping but that is OK. Feel free to have your emotions, and your feelings and do not let feelings of guilt also cloud your thoughts. You have enough to deal with and guilt is the worst and something you do not need to feel. If want to take your vacation and get away, do so. I hate the ending of "Christmas with the Kranks" I think they should have gone on the cruise. Do what you want to do and do not feel bad about not being happy over a holiday. Be happy because on other days you can be happy.
So on that note (which I hope it made sense) I shall say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Barbm

The year I lost my brother I wanted in the worst way to leave the area. My family as I knew it was gone- the siblings and parents are irretrievably broken. But my kids are why I stayed. I scaled down tremendously the decorations, food, etc. We have always had a budget and stuck to it so it isn't a discomfort when the bills arrive in January (I really want those reward points!) I still don't like Christmas 5 years later but I deal with it. I now have grands and even though I still have disappointments I suck it up for them. Christmas is just "different"- not a Hallmark movie by any means, but I'm used to it.

I'm waiting for the grands to get big enough to tell their parents they want to play with me- so I can do crafts again and bake and decorate. Then the house will be alive. I can wait...

BATIKQLTR

Wow, I didn't realize I was with the majority. While still working full time, I was always so stressed to get everything done. Gifts for co-workers, neighbors, relatives etc. and cards out. Well, I am retired now and I like things to be serene. The first thing to go was the cards (and like someone else said, I even still have friends) and then 7 plastic tubs of decoration. I'm down to 3 and will be down to 1 come January. I bake if someone asks (meaning if they have time). I love my Christmas music and pointsettias. Gifts have been scaled down a lot, mostly gift certificates to places they like to shop (I don't shop much after orthopedic surgeries) or restaurants. The world didn't stop turning and I am so much more at peace with the season.

I also admire the people that can and do it all. I was there once, but time marches on.............

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to all of my new forum friends. I'm looking forward to spending a lot of time with all of you in 2011!

Marge L.

Marge L.

batikquiltrj---Where do you live? One son lives in Downey, but works in Santa Ana.

BATIKQLTR

North San Diego County. If you saw the news last night, that "bomb house" that was destroyed is about 4 miles from me. I was raised in Santa Ana, but the area we were in is pretty much destroyed I guess. I would love to move over to the coast, Carlsbad, for the cool breezes in the summer.

chris_quilts

We have scaled back considerably on Christmas and we have kids still at home. I may make cookies but no biggie if I don't. If I do, the girls will help b/c I ain't the little red hen. Our tree will be the small one again with the shatterproof ornaments due to 4 month old kitten in the house. Dinner will be small with just 4 people total and so little stress there. Most of the presents, small and few in #, are already bought minus DH's to us. He has already bought mine as I kepp telling him but he insists on buying me something himself. His present from me was practical - new struts all around on his car plus new tires and rims. Not cheap but so practical.

Merry Christmas to all. Jesus is the reason for the season.

Psychomomquilter

I could have it as a depressing time of year but I don't
1996 Dec 15 my mom died Jan 12 1997 my husband died. so I don't look for depression, I look for a sharing and giving time of the year

emsgranny

I am so sorry Melinda - I too suffered a loss around xmas just fives years back-wasnt on christmas day but close enough. I like you cant get into the spirit a whole lot but what helps me through is that I know my brother loved christmas and would not want me to ruin it for myself or anyone around me. I dont decorate because we do what christmas we do elsewhere now. Used to do it here when mom & dad were here and enjoyed every minute of it!!! Then we would go out of town to my brothers and do it up large with food presents and just a great time-His wifes family came at the same time so the house was filled to the brim. Loved it!!! She still has a big xmas bash with her family but ours is getting too very small so none of us go (actually I did go a couple of times after he passed but I really havent been back since I got the dates mixed up one year!!) My SIL hasnt let me know when they have it since - oh well. It wasnt the same anyway!!
We have now made our own traditions-we go for breakfast at my daughters to watch all the grandkids open presents. I have 6 grandkids so I try to be upbeat as possible - it really helps being around those who love you.

We still go to MIL xmas eve - been married 31 years and havent missed one yet!! Of course now I do the major cooking and take it there and my 2 girls pitch in where they can. We always say this is her last year shes 81 now but she just keeps on trucking - she is my rock even though she doesnt remember anything from the present and tells all the stories of when she was younger-we just listen for the 1000th time-we take turns ocassionally because we can stand behind her and recite the story by heart right along with her!!! not funny to you guys but we have to laugh keeps us going. Its sad to see her going downhill.

We put a tree up this year only because our grandkids and daughter are living with us. They help us tremendously.

So try a little each year to find at least one happy moment and hang on to it for next year - maybe as the years go by you will have enough built up so you wont be so depressed. Please start this year !!! Not fair to you and family nor to the memory of your loved one. pm me if you want to talk take care and happy holidays cheryl