Rann

I've tried for years to get my family to buy ourselves individually something we really want but won't buy. That way we are sure to love out gifts.

I also suggested that we donate to charity instead of buying gifts.

Bubblegum0077

Well, I, for one, am not going crazy during the Christmas holiday spending money or baking like mad. First, money is precious and not enough of it so I am not spending mine on junk gifts or for people I don't like or know. The schools have hit us up with picture day, fund raisers, bazarrs, food drives and now holiday parties which almost seem back to back since school started. Am I right about this? I don't want to rain on anyones parade, but for heaven's sake, isn't there enough to do without all the school activities to add to it? My kids and grandchildren get stuff throughout the year so I don't see an issue if there isn't something under the tree. I think too many people forget the reason for the season.....has anyone even mentioned our Savior Jesus Christ? I am not getting all religious, but how about spending a peaceful and joyful holiday without the pressure of spending our last dime on giftgiving. Everyone bring a dish and enjoy each other's company instead. Makes sense to me and the dishes won't pile up in the sink either, nor will the host be pressured to cooking over a hot stove all day. Before you know it, the day is over and the stores are breaking out the chocolates for Valentines Day and swimsuits are just around the corner. Best way to get thru the season is to think rationally and spend wisely.

Wishing everyone a happy holiday and that you all stay safe and warm. Seasons Greetings.

Aussie Quilter

I can understand what you are going through Melinda, the same thing happens to me. My mum died just before Xmas when I was 12 - a lot longer than 20 ago years too - and I still get depressed every early December. Xmas has never been the same since, although I did set traditions of our own after I married.

The only decorating I'll do this year (and have done for the last 15 years) is to hang the wreath on the front door - *if* I can find it. Gave DS2 and DIL all my Xmas decorations last year - all 46 years of them. I can't see the point in putting the tree etc up just for me, the cat, and budgie; and I hate taking it down and packing it all away.

Gave up making the Xmas Biscuits when it became too much for my back having to stand and cut them out.

Grandkids get gift cards, as does DS1 and his wife. DS2 has a standing order for the new Bryce Courtney Book, and DIL for the new Danielle Steel book. Sister gets a gift card, and her partner a book on American Indians. End of Xmas shopping - apart from Secret Santa shopping.

If it wasn't for DS2 and his family, and my sister, Xmas would be cancelled in this house for lack of interest.

Marge L.

To me, Christmas is my saddest time of the year. We lost a son just a week before Christmas and even though it has been many years since, I simply can't overcome that lost feeling. I decorate very little and since my husband is no longer living either, cooking is not a requirement. The rest of the children and their families all live some distance away. Gifts are only for the grand children still in school. I will probably be by myself this year but I really don't mind. I have my quilting to keep me warm and occupied. I may sound bitter but I REALLY wish everyone a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and may God bless you all. Marge

Gabrielle's Mimi

To Melinda in Tulsa, I am SO sorry about your loss and sadness, even 20 years later. I breaks my heart to think that you suffer so much. At the risk of offending you, may I please suggest that you see your doctor and try a prescription for antidepressants? I am not pushing pills, but I also hate to think of anyone suffering like this, not to mention the loved ones around you who must also be so sad because they can't help you. In this day and age there is medical help. Even if you only decide to take meds during the month of December that may help you get over the difficult month. Don't be too "proud" to talk to your doctor. 20 years is too long for this to go on. Good luck.

galvestonangel

I am retired, and old enough to realize that the things that cause us the most stress usually aren't that important. I have told my children to adopt a family instead of giving us a present. I try to give each of my 3 children a small gift, money to the older GK, and presents for the youngest 3, 2 of which still believe.

Unfortunately tragedy doesn't care if it is a holiday, it happens anyway. They are bad at any time but it does seem like around the holidays, when you are supposed to be in a jolly mood, it magnifies it. That is when we miss family the most. I know they are watching but I miss the hugs.

My idea of the perfect Christmas is to give to the ones that have nothing, visit with my children and grandchildren, dinner at someone elses house, go to mass, and relax.

madamekelly

Melinda, I understand devastating loss. I am a widow. I just try to remember that my husband was happiest when I was happy. The person you lost would probably love to know you honor their memory, but to suffer each and every year, is penance, not celebration of their life. Have good Christmas in their memory. We care......{HUG}

Margie

I love Christmas! I decorate what I feel like decorating, bake what I enjoy,make gifts for those I have time and try to remember that "Jesus is the reason for the season". No one should dictate what others should or should not do for the season.

argranny

sometimes it's hard to be in the christmas spirit, I loss my daughter 2 1/2 years ago and she loved christmas went all out for it. I didn't want to do holidays again but my grandkids said that wasn't fair to them. I don't spent what I don't have, but always tryed to make it fun. so I didn't give up christmas, now I have 2 greatgrandkids and they are here this year and the smiles on their faces makes it all worth while. it doesn't make the pain go away but helps me to bear it. God bless you and hope you have a good day.

IBQUILTIN

We are facing a real true life crisis this Holiday season. Sooooooooooo, no decorations going up, no sitting at the sewing machine for hours on end, no cards getting mailed, just sending love to all when I email or talk by phone. If we make it through December, we will have had the Christmas miracle of our lives. What more could one ask for?