peaceandjoy

Accidents do happen, and dogs (pets) can be as loved as any family member. However, the end of what you wrote is what I would base my decision on. Yes, they probably are upset over what happened, but if they don't care for their things, or appreciate what is done for/given to them, then I wouldn't spend more time, energy or resources on it.

Many of us have had the sad experience of hand made gifts being treated less than lovingly, or (just as bad for me!) put away "to keep them nice." I do tell the people I give quilts to, child or adult (or new moms) that I want them to use the quilt. That doesn't mean ABUSE it, though!

quiltykitty

I know you are hurting and sick about the destruction of that quilt. I think Henry, Darren and HMK gave excellent advice. Once something you make is gifted, then it is beyond your control. We can not police our adult children. Nor would I want to do so.

My rule for myself. Once it leaves the house it belongs to whomever and how they chose to use it is up to them. And that includes any abuse. That being said, I chose my fabric, pattern and time spent in the making with that in mind. Someone who does not treat their things well will probably get the lesser quality fabric, the easy pattern, and quick quilting.

Shemjo

It had to be a heartbreaker for you to find that quilt with the holes. The dog was old and already being punished. It was an unfortuante happening that was unforeseen. The dog was locked in the bedroom. I'm sure the quilt was not thought about at the time. Afterward, well, you can't fix stupid! I'm sure there was some head banging that went on, but after the fact, the damage has been done. They kept the quilt on the bed, so it was valued. It is a really hard call. I think I would wait and see if they ask for you to mend it. If they do, I would be slow to actually do the mending. And I would make smaller projects for them in the future. :?

amandasgramma

I hear how you feel!!! For years I've been doing stained glass projects...the REAL stuff - glass, leading, cut fingers, the whole bit. My son and his wife do NOT have any I've given them AND my daughter has 3 ---ALL with broken glass!!! It makes me sick. I refuse to give them anything anymore -- I give them gift certificates. These were not one time accidents....which may be your case. My heart goes out to you!

renee765

What a terrible feeling this must be! I've been noticing that my kids (35, 33 and 30 yr old kids) don't really take much interest in all the quilts and quilting going on in my house. I think, from their perspective, this is just what Mom's 'into' right now. Because of that lack of interest, I've decided not to gift any family members with quilts right now. I will make them each a quilt, however, and save it to be given to them when I'm no longer around. I know that it will mean a lot more to them then. For now, I look forward to quilting for donations (like to senior citizens in a home who don't get any visitors). Maybe this sounds morbid, but just know that my kids aren't really interested right now, and by saving them a quilt for later might be more meaningful.

My 2 cents worth.

PurplePassion

Well, I had laid down and took a 2 hour nap; cuz I had been so stressed out this week -- work and stuff. And came back to check in here. I was surprised with all the different replies. and different ways you would all handle this situation. I liked Darren's input. I know, boys will be boys; my son has never been one to be "careful and take care of things." So , why I expected him to start Now---is My mistake. I saw that he Loved the quilt when I gave it to him. I know it was an accident; the dog didn't know any better; maybe she thought he loved the quilt more than her??
I think I would like to repair what I can of it , so it will hold up a little better. I do have the fabrics yet, so that shouldn't be too hard. They are just going to look like bandaids. Lord knows , he has had plenty of those in his life! And I still do love him.
THANK YOU EVERYONE , for all your input. And your stories , it did make me feel better! And now makes me rethink my giving of quilts. I guess , not stress over how they look , points matching ,stitches not showing , the right color, ect.... Maybe, just throw it together , give it a hug, and say goodbye.
Thanks again friends, Elaine

thismomquilts

I know you've had alot of input already, but here are my thoughts. I'm sure that the dog thing was an accident. Your son does know what you put into a quilt. He loves the quilt, you said. They still use it. It was given to them as a gift. Maybe you could take it and repair it - using what like materials you have but if you have to patch it with a different fabric MAYBE they will think about it each time they see the different fabric and realize just how much THEY mean to you and appreciate it a bit more??? Here's hoping... I love to see my give away quilts used. One I gave away I was never thanked for - but three years later when that baby was playing with her baby dolls - I made another for her babies!! She uses it all the time - and quite frankly the more worn it gets, the better she'll like it.

peaceandjoy

This is me, too, although my DD's are a bit younger (23 & 18). So I give my quilts away - although hoping they won't end up like OP's - and hope that maybe some day, even if it's when I'm gone... Guess I'll have to be sure to make some and have them "stashed" instead of giving them all away!

tlrnhi

Elaine, like you said, you had a nap and you have figured out what you are going to do.
I really think your son treasures the quilt because if he didn't, I think he would have tossed it.
So, get the quilt, put the bandaids on it. That's what we moms do when our kids have "boo-boo's", and patch it up. Maybe put OUCH or something on some of the patches,,,just for fun.
Then maybe he'll be a little more caring when he decides to leave the quilt with a dog/pup again.

blahel

If i was punishing a dog i certainly wouldnt put it in MY bedroom..I would put it in the garage with an old blanket or the laundry room...but hey thats just me... :lol: and whats wrong with his own kennel...