createfourpaws

I know I am not a new comer but I dont think I have ever shared much about me.

I am a respiratory therapist working in a long term acute care hospital. Been divorced now 4 yrs, both my boys (23 & 26) are grown and living on their own. The youngest married his high school sweetheart a year ago. No grandchildren yet but they can wait awhile. The oldest has decided he doesnt need or want anything to do with me. I have come to terms with that it has now been 10 yrs.

I am living with my mom and stepdad, he converted the garage into an apartment for me so I still have my privacy but close enough to help them out. Mom has become my best friend. She is one of my quilting buddies.

I have battled for 20 + years with my weight, and being diabetic it has become a bigger challagne to get it off. I know my diabetes is due to the weight as no family history. I have tried several different plans with no success. So I am now eating a low fat high protein, more veggies & fruit. Making this a lifestyle change vs just losing weight. I will need to eat this way always to maintain. I would rather lose it slowly than quickly.

Most people dont believe I am as old as I am, they think I am about 15 yrs younger. So I have this fear if I drop weight too fast I will be overcome with all kinds of wrinkles.

Sorry for rambling.

Keep up the good work and remember you are losing weight.

I am losing
Cindy

Pam H

Xylie, you truly are an inspiration! Maybe it is a good thing that it has taken you 4 years to lose the weight. All of your bad habits are gone and you have a totally different eating style than before you started.
I can lose the weight. I have done it a few times. It takes 2-3 months to lose the 20 or so pounds. It stays off for a while but eventually it's back. Last summer I joined Physicians Weight Loss Center. It was very expensive but it does work if you stick with it. But I HATED that diet. It certainly is not something you can do for the rest of your life. Although, my husband is still sticking with it and has kept off the 40 lbs he lost.
I like the frozen meals for portion control. There are a couple of Lean Cuisine meals that I love. I should probably try some other brands too. Maybe try whatever is on sale each week. It's difficult when my husband wants a real meal for dinner after eating bars and shakes all day and now my son is home after 2 years in Korea and he wants to eat all the food and treats he has missed.
I am creeping too close to the 200 lb mark. A friend just tagged me in a picture on Facebook. It was my backside. I knew my belly has grown but did not realize how large my rear end had become. Definitely time to take care of this!

irishrose

Pam, a friend?? If anyone tagged my backside on Facebook, I'd call them something else. I'm sorry about your son. Our children can be such joys or they can be a pain. Enjoy the one who has his head on straight and pray for the other one.

I need to go to Facebook and see what my out of town grandchildren have been doing. I don't use it much, but it's a nice way to communicate with my New Mexico GD.

Back to the quilt. I AM losing weight.

Rita's mom

Well thank you to everyone's posts today. I didn't get back on track yesterday like I said I was going to. Does anyone else ever feel like thier life is just a chaotic mess some days? I have such a problem with the kids, responsibilities,chores, and family seeming to boil up and out of control with chaos at times that I end up just tired and so tired in my head that I can't even think straight or be organized. I feel like I just get drug through the day till I realize I didn't do a thing for my self. Well that is how it has been around here lately and yesterday was no different. So to make a long story short I didn't do much to help myself yesterday but today I am back on track so far today and so far it is a little calmer today. BUT my point to all of this is after reading all the posts this morning I feel really strong and motivated. I feel like I am back into that mind set I have had were I am not tempted to eat junk and I am happy to feel that way again. I believe our posts and support DO make all the difference in the world to our success at sticking with this. So I just wanted to say thanks to everyone.

I believe stress, negative thoughts and people, chaos,and evil all play a huge part in what caused us to gain alot of our weight in the first place. I doesn't take much to throw us off track from where we need to be. So today I am going to concentrate on keeping my day as calm and positive as I can today. Alot of things we can't control but I am going to try and make it the best I can today.

I am off to buy my daughter a camera for her birthday tomorrow. I am going to drink a ton of water today and have my usual lunch that I have when I have to eat lunch out. Chick filet's 8 piece nuggets and iced tea. High in sodium but I have been able to still lose weight when I have it for lunch.
I hope everyone has a happy calm day!:)

Xylie55

Hi Pam,every body here I think has done that.We lose the weight,but can't keep it off.I finely realized that 'that' was the thing I was going to have to figure out.Diets don't work.We lose 20 pounds,then gain back 35 pounds.So we lose some more,only to gain more back,that's how I got to 250.Was by 'dieting'.I again,finely realized that I was going to have to do a life style change,and change everything about my eating habits.And I thought if Jenny craig can deliver those meals,I can do TV dinners and do the same thing.So I did.And it's worked.I like most of the dinners out there.I get Marie Calendar,hungry Man,Some of the banquets are ok,I really love their spaghetty and meatballs,I eat them a lot in fact.We split the bigger dinners,and put a salad with it.At 1st we didn't split the dinners,but as time went on,we just simply could not eat it all.So I split them,and with the salads,and fruit,it's plenty to eat.We never go away hungry.I learned I could eat way less and be satisfied.And I didn't take 4 yrs to break habits,I just quite the pop,ice cream,candy,chips,etc.And only ate the meals.I now have those other things once in a great while.Like I had a coke this weekend.But was the 1st coke in a yr.And I had some chips with our hamburger this weekend.But only a handfull.Again,1st time in months.Sometimes we can have what we want,but in moderation like Irish Rose says.Or Rita's mom I think.And that's right.So,I would go ahead and get some dinners,breakfasts,and groceries for hubby and kids.Cook for them as usual,but you have the meals and salad.I do that a lot.If we have company,I cook for everybody,but eat my meals.We eat together,only I eat mine.One mistake some make is to not eat.Sometimes you have to add calories to burn fat and lose weight.

AmyG

Xylie~thank you so much for the encouragement! I am doing pretty good this week. I've lost two pounds, adding exercise has been great. Had to use my machine yesterday to walk b/c it rained. Thank the good Lord~we are still over 15" short for this year. Everything is so dry. But I did walk for 20 minutes and burned 218 calories. WooHoo We have our treadmill in our son's gameroom so we can talk to him or watch TV while we sweat :) so while I was waling they were playing a video game. DH hasn't lost this week and I have. What's our lesson here?!
I am very thankful I have found ya'll. Everyone is so encouraging and seem to truly care. Thanks bunches! Off to do more studying for my tests on Saturday.

I am a loser ;)
Amy

charity-crafter

I wind up cooking 2 meals. DH is almost underweight. I attempted to change my lifestyle a few years ago (it wasn't such as permanent as I wanted) and lost ~50 pounds cooking separate meals for dh. He lost 15 pounds and the doctor was checking him for medical problems.

Just being in the same house with someone losing weight caused his weight to magically go down.

So not fair. All he did was stop eating icecream for his midday snack so I wouldn't be tempted to eat just a spoonful everyonce in awhile. You know how that just a spoonful tends to be a little more. You take a little around the edge and then you have a hump so you have to smooth that out and then you get an odd shape and you have to fix that-by eating it of course.

I slowly put all my weight back on, it's so hard to make permanant changes.

nancia

ah, xylie, that's me in a nutshell! i don't eat. no, i mean, i used to not eat. i am working very hard to be sure i do eat. at times i have slipped into an anorexic mode, where i literally can't swallow food. this has happened 5 times in my life. i existed on diet cokes and coffee. i would deliberately find fault with food that was served to me, and would not make food for myself, so i wouldn't eat. i'm 5'6" and have gotten down to 125. friends would say i was too thin, but i could still see the rolls of "fat". this time is the last time i'm going to lose weight because this time i am changing my outlook and my behavior. like a lot of people on here i have physical challenges, emotional challenges, that's called life. no one gets out alive! or unscarred! over my sixty years i have lost the combined weights of my three children and my husband. sadly, that means i have at some point gained those weights, too.
right now my emotional issues are fear and anger. i am afraid my husband will die before me altho' he promised not to. but he is recovering from pancreatic cancer, and that is rare. most do not have that opportunity. i am afraid someone will come to my house and discover i'm not a housekeeper and judge me based on that. i am terrified someone will realize i've been faking it all my life and i really don't know anything. i am furious with my husband for moving me here with no discussion and no warning. and i am angry that in a place this large there is no one to befriend me. i have tried and evidently failed to form relationships with people around me and they all seem to be happy with the friends they have and don't need or want any new ones.
i am purposely showing all (or some) of my warts. i'm far from perfect, but i'm also far from evil. to change the title of beyonce's new song , right now (and for the past 9 yrs) "it sucks to be me! this board has pulled me out of a deep depressive hole. i have people to talk to and relate to here. i have a new hobby to keep my mind and hands busy. i feel connected to something outside my home. thank you for that! thank you for the encouragement and friendship. none of us care about what anyone on here looks like. we are totally colorblind and prejudice free. i try to be that way in "real" life, too. here we are blind to the physical world and judge each other by our words. any one of us could lie and say we lost 20 lbs, and no one would question it. we accept each other as honest and honorable. as far as i can tell we're the closest thing to unconditional as i have found outside of family and dearest friends. do we all understand how amazing and wonderful that is?
it's not easy to put all this out there in front of you. it's very scary that i might be wrong and you will tell me to get lost or "kick" me off the board. but i'm trusting that you won't and you will understand what i'm telling you, and look into your own lives and discover what is making you fat and unhappy and angry. and THROW IT OUT, and OUT of your life. you will feel so much better.

Xylie55

OH,I agree totaly.I lived here 20 yrs and don't have 1 friend.I'm not from here,so don't know anybody except hubby's buds and our neighbors.All tho the girls are great people and would do anything I asked,as we are like 1 big family our here 15 miles from Yuma in no whereville.So know exactly how you feel.And your right.We all do genuinely care about one another.And yes,no predigestes.We are like the voice show.We don't know what we look like unless we post a picture,my camera is broke,but when I get a new one {down the rd}I'll find a picture of 4 yrs ago and now,and show the transformation of then and now.Now I'm not real pertty like I once was in my youth,after all I'm 56 this month.And no longer wear make up as it's just too flipping hot and muggy here.It slides off,then I look like a racoon.So,I don't bother.So we can tell each other our deepest secrets and not worry.I mean who we gona tell?Really?And yes,I'm glad you shared.As I am much like you.But on this board,we are sisters,and don't give a crap about color,gender,gay,etc,and it has no place here.We are here to lose weight,encourage one another,help one another through the storms of life.I love that when everybody chimes in you do get different perspectives and can see from every body's view point and get the total picture.I'm no saint,and I screw up and make mistakes,I'm human after all.That's how we learn anyway.But I don't make the same mistakes over and over and over.If it don't work,it ain't working.And we can't make it work.Like the voice show,those people been "trying" for 15 yrs or more to get record deals,some of them.Well,did it ever occur to them that maybe they stink?Just because they keep after it don't make it so.If I try something,like losing weight,and keep gaining it back,I'm not doing something right,or not trying hard enough.It's not easy.We have to go with out,sacrifice our wants over our needs.We need to lose weight,most of us.To some of us it is a matter of life or death.It will add yrs to your life and will do away with a lot of fat related deases like high blood pressure,diabetis,heart attacks,clogged arteries,depression,and on and on.A lot of you are depressed.You need to ask yourself,why?If you know the answer,then you might be able to fix it.If you can't fix it,then get away from it.I started throwing out my mental trash too,because I was depressed,big time.And even tho I couldn't fix all the problems. I did have a choice to fix myself and make my enemies kiss my butt and like it and make them pea green with envy.And I have without saying a word to them.And by living my life,losing all this weight,and being happy in spite of them.They are not going to rain on my parade called "MY LIFE" and making them hate me more because I can do it and they can't.And nor ever will because they are way too selfish and greedy and can't do with out their bon-bons,fast food joints,eating out all the time,stuffing candy hidden in their drawers at home down their gullets. to give up any thing for any body,even themselves.So,I'm glad you "shared" with us.Just as Missy has shared and bared her soul in hopes of helping others on this thread who are maybe in her shoes too.She said and it probably goes for all of us,we are here for you who need us.If you need to talk,share or pm us.We have to deal with the inside too and heal from the inside out.We need to be a whole person.And for once,be happy.I'm happy now and healed all my wounds.It makes it so much easier to lose weight if we are not carrying around a bunch of excess baggage inside.Anyway nancia,I couldn't agree with you more.And I am here for you.We are all going to be best buds,probably for life.So,lets 'get er done!' My new motto too.

nancia

thanks, xylie! as am i!